Why can't you tell people they are fat?

Question

Ive got a friend who is kinda skinny, and all the time people say to her, "How did you get so skinny?", "You are so skinny", and "Eat some food or youll get even skinnier".

So why can't you tell someone "How did you get so fat?", "You are so fat", and "Stop eating or youll get even fatter"?

Answer 1

I don't know. You should be able to tell a person that they are fat especially when they are obese. You would tell a alcoholic that they were drinking themselves to an early grave wouldn't you? Why not tell someone they are eating themselves to death?

Besides most fat/obese people I know don't try to actually do anything about their weight. Take one of my soon to be in laws. I've eaten out with them and they are definitely not eating anything healthy. Or even eating healthy while they are at home.

Answer 2

In my opinion people shouldn't tell people that they're skinny or fat or whatever. They already know, they don't need a reminder, and it's none of your business how much somebody else eats anyway. When people constantly talk about those things it bothers them and can break down their self-esteem. You don't seriously think they're hearing this for the first time?

Believe it or not, many of those people have trouble changing their weight even though they want to. Some people stay skinny no matter how much they eat or they simply can't push more food into themselves and some fat people have a really hard time losing weight. So it's not that they don't realize that they're skinny/fat, they are just having a hard time changing that (sometimes for medical reasons) or they are satisfied with the way they are, so why bug them about it? That's just being rude, no matter whether it's a skinny or a fat person.

Answer 3

I guess it's the same reason you don't tell someone they are ugly.

I see your point, I do but I think hearing you're too skinny is easier to take than hearing you're too fat. It's also all in how someone says it. Someone can say it in a rude manner but I still think it would be a bit easier to handle.

Does your friend mind these comments? I also have a friend who is quite skinny and being the type of person she is she would just laugh it off whereas with a person who is heavier it would be very hurtful.

No one wants to hear they are fat even if they are but everyone wants to hear they are skinny.

Answer 4

That's right I don't need anyone to tell me, I'm fat I already know it plus why would you want to hurt people's feelings we already have low self esteem.

Answer 5

I am on the skinny side and being told that I am is very stressful to me... I don't really look sickly, but I wanna gain weight.

On the other hand, my colleague is on the heavy-side, and she doesn't like people telling her about her being heavy. She say that if one is not that close/friends with a person her size, it would be better to shut their mouth rather than give out unsolicited advices.

I guess this is because, not being fat is perceived to be aesthetically better aside from being healthy... and when one is fat, it's seen as not, well let's face it, beautiful.

Answer 6

I'd avoid both comments. Nevertheless, I think "fat" people know they're fat; reminding them of it is insulting. It implies they are weak and can't control their food intake. Food is pleasurable, so fatness is seen as a function of gluttony. Also, in our culture, a fat appearance is worse than a thin one.
Calling someone skinny is less insulting because skinny people are viewed either as blessed (as they can eat all they want) or more active, "into life", etc. However, in some cultures calling somebody thin is worse as you are implying they live in poverty and/or have bad luck.
The general rule is avoid comments about someone's weight. Remember, there are a lot of people who can't put on weight and a lot of people who can put it on very quickly. So it may not be a consequence of one's lifestyle as much as one's metabolism.

Answer 7

Because it isn't nice, that's why

Fat people already know they are fat. They don't need you to point it out. I'm fat, and I don't need anyone to point it out. It's something that occupies my thoughts in almost every hour of every day.

Everyone in this world has a drug of choice. Some people use actual drugs. Some people drink. Some people smoke. Some people don't eat at all and that feeling of control is their drug. The lists are endless of things we humans use as a crutch in this mean difficult world. My drug just happens to be food.

I am an addict just like a cocaine addict is one. I wish I could quit but I'm hooked. I feel a high when I eat. When I am sad, it fills my soul. When people are mean to me, it makes me feel better.

I wish things were different, and I wake up every morning hoping to win against this addiction. I will try again tomorrow morning again. I hope someday I succeed..............but when I do succeed, I will look at fat people differently than skinny people. I will understand the torture their lives are on a day by day minute by minute.

It's not as if you can just quit eating......like people can quit smoking or quit drinking. I think if it were something I could just quit altogether, I would have succeeded long ago.

I think it's wrong for someone to say something mean like that about skinny people but I think it's just as wrong to say something like that to fat people. We all know you are thinking it.....no need to actually say it out loud.

I have a long way to go before people stop ridiculing me, but I first have to stop ridiculing myself.

Thanks for the question
Sincerly,
Robin_in_Tennessee

Answer 8

Because being slender for most is a desired state, and being fat is not. Therefore "you're so skinny" is a compliment to some people. "You're fat" is an insult and people don't want to hear that. You have to know people don't want to be called that, as you probably know u wouldn't, so why the desire to tell others that?

Answer 9

People should not call your friend skinny, either. I guess they think they are being complimentary? But maybe she is sensitive about her thin frame, and they are not thinking of that.

You can call a fat person fat, if you are into hurting people. Fat people have a very low self-image, and fat is an insulting word, not to mention that calling attention to a person's girth is by itself hurtful.

Answer 10

Because being called "fat" or even having it insinuated that you're fat is one of the most offensive things some can be called in our culture, especially is that person is a woman. Skinny, rightly or wrongly, is considered a compliment