Should I leave or should I stay?

Question

I've Been dating this guy for the past year now and he still hasn't commited to me. I know he was hurt badly in the past so thats why I gave him time to come around. Now, a year later and we are still in the same place we were in when we started.I can tell sometimes that he really likes me, then other times I don't hear from him in a week. I really like him. Tell me what to do. Should I leave or should I stay? Will he come around?

Answer 1

I think you need to do what's best for you. Tell him that you like seeing him and that you'd like to be exclusive and see more of each other. Tell him that you want to go from mere dating to a "relationship". If he backs off that idea, then you've got your answer.

A week really isn't that long, and he needs his own space too, but if it really bothers you, then it's up to you to say something. He can't read your mind.

Answer 2

Tasha,

Only you can decide whether to stay or leave, but think about how much more time you are willing to invest in this guy.

The most important thing you can do right now is talk to him about how you're feeling. It sounds like you've both been concentrating on his feelings for the last year. but now it's time to focus on yours. Now, it's not necessary to give him any type of ultimatim. All that will accomplish is to make him feel pressured and uncomfortable; sure way to end a relationship fast. Just talk it out. If he is worth it, he will really listen to you and try to understand and respect how you're feeling.

Rather than giving him an ultimatim, think about how much longer you feel you can go on with this relationship without a commitment from him. Then give yourself a time limit...several weeks, two or three months, six months..whatever you feel you can handle. If the time limit you set is up and he is still unable to commit, then it's probably time for you to move on because he can't. Yes, we all get hurt, but it's not healthy to spend the rest of our lives dwelling on it. The only way he will be able to commit to any relationship is to let go of the one that didn't work out.

Please be careful of your feelings. Sometimes people use the hurt they've suffered as an excuse to take for granted someone like yourself who has been very patient.

Hope this helps!!!

Answer 3

Nope, have you read from the library "He's just not into YOU"?

Are you going to change? Then why do you keep thinking he will change?

1. Remember you are feeling something's not right.
2. You have a right to good feelings in a relationship.
3. They get worse not better....when there's no commitment.
4. Do you know you wrote things personal ...that you are being played....and how's that working for you.

Remember, a guy is like a bus,,,if you miss one, wait 15 minutes or so and another comes along...

Do you really like being left behind?//NAH, didn't think so.

So tell yourself everytime you pass a mirror that you are great, and deserved to be loved....just as you are....the way GOD loves you!...Smile at yourself...then laugh...and laugh again!

Answer 4

Does he act like he is in a committed relationship with you? does he see other people?Does he even know that you want more?
Have you had the I want more out of this relationship conversation? If you have not then how is he suppose to know you want more? men are not mind readers....

Simply tell him, don't give him ultimatums or you may not like his choice. And if you do decide to give him an ultimatum, remember you have to live with the choice he makes. Be very prepared for the choice being one that you find difficult to grasp. People do not like ultimatums. And should he decide he does not want to commit, you will have the answer to the "what should I do question", the ball will be in your hands only...

Answer 5

Sit down with him and tell him you feel you need to know where this relationship is going. Ask him if he has thought about the future and what he sees in a year. If you want a child or more, this needs to be on the table. Don't be pushy, just matter of fact. Be prepared that if he does not see a wife in his future, that you are ready to break up and find someone who wants a family.
Best of luck.

Answer 6

have you considered asking him to come to you? maybe he doesnt realize how you feel about him. If he has been hurt, he probably has a self esteem issue...granted after a year he should have gotten the hint, some people are just slow when it comes to that sorta thing, but if i were you i would tell him how you feel and what you want out of the relationship. If you two want different things then you will have to settle with what each other want or move on and stay friends. i hope this helps, good luck

Answer 7

he may come around.. it may also take him 5 years to come around... Decide how long you will put up with it (do not tell him how long.. you dont want to make this an ultimatum) but discuss with him what he may be feeling... if he does not want to discuss it - i would give him a week or two to bring it up on his own- if not- then obviously he isnt to into things.... If he does discuss it- then see where it goes from there-- maybe he will be more aware in the future... just keep that time frame in the back of your head.... it is your life too :)

Answer 8

Tasha, communication is one of the best aspects of any relationship. i'm not tryin to say that u guys don't communicate well, but u should sit and talk with him about how u feel about the whole commitment situation thing and see what he says about it. if he luvs u, he will understand where u are coming from and try to get on the same page with u. i hope this helps in making the decision u feel is best for u!!!

Answer 9

You are a saint to be so understanding of all he's going through, but where do you fit into all of this? You sure sound unsure, and that is the whole problem. Commitment can give you feelings of security. Tell him how you feel and if he loves you then you will know for sure.

Answer 10

Why should he commit to you? What should he commit to you? If you are under 25 and just dating he owes you no commitment. That's all stuff you've put on him. It's amazing that some women cannot take life as it comes and enjoy things for what they are. Yes you should leave.

You are very high-maintenence and need a very specific type of guy. Start looking hopefully you will get lucky.