In most cases, step families are a bad (or negetive) situation. I wed a guy with a young daugher, & she & I loved one another. Had I known then what I know how, I would not have done it or even dated him knowing that he had a child. We had TOO many ugly moments. I love my husband very much, & I love my "daughter", but there was way too much conflict due to the circumstance. I would like to know about some happy step families.
2006-11-08 14:19:25 · 6 answers · asked by Rae 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Happiness in step families depends on a lot of things. The exes involved. How well you get along with them. Whether the children are willing to accept you. Sometimes kids hate you for no reason other than the fact that you married their mom or dad, and they already have a mom or dad & do not want you trying to take their place or tell them what to do.
I could write pages about my own personal experience. But I will keep it short & just say that I didn't get along well with my stepmom 30 years ago, but now I am almost as close to her as I am my real mom. It takes time for things to settle & work out. It takes time for the kids to mature and everyone to figure out exactly what their role is. Kids eventually figure out that nobody is trying to take their real parent's place, and that when a step parent tries to tell them what to do it really is for their own good.
But, it can be difficult before you get to that point. It's how you handle things that determines whether or not you will ever be close & have a good relationship.
2006-11-08 14:27:52 · answer #1 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am the "daughter" of that situation. My parents divorced when I was 1 year, 4 months old. My mom met my stepfather when I was 2 years, 6 months old. He has never once even looked at me like I was anything less than his own blood. He is my true dad. I love my stepfather more than all the stars in the sky. He provided a wonderful home for my mom and me, and such guidance and knowledge. We never fight and my biological father was so happy my mom found someone who accepted me and treated me well, that there was never any tension between them. My biological dad was transferred to europe for his job when I was 4, so I have only seen him twice a year since. As a responsible parent who knew he wouldnt be able to be there in every way, my biological dad signed his rights over to my stepdad. At age 18, for my stepdad and mom's anniversary I legally changed my last name to my stepdad's. Now, at 23, my stepdad will walk me down the aisle at my wedding in march, but my biological dad and his wife will have a seat at the head table. I still talk to my biological dad once a week, and he has never missed a special occasion, and is still there for me for anything. Everyone gets along famously and I could never ask for a better family! I feel I am truly lucky to be a part of a "step" family. I wouldn't want it any other way.
2006-11-08 14:28:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Family dynamics is interesting. It doesn't matter whether it is a step family, a self made family, or your genetic family, people have to work at being kind to one another. You are right when you marry you marry the family and when there is a difficult family. The only way to make your situation better is to realize that you have to accept them for who they are, you don't have to like it but you have to know that they are not going to change for you. Accept how they are and remember that you are responsible to how you behave even if they are being shits.
2006-11-08 14:25:26 · answer #3 · answered by Serinity4u2find 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well my fiance has a 5 year old and we have a 2 year old together and I get along fine with his daughter and his ex
2006-11-08 14:23:26 · answer #4 · answered by DiamondXxx 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no not 2 me
2006-11-08 14:21:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you were happy, what is the problem?
2006-11-08 14:21:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋