Okay, here is the deal.... my 2 year old is a very very picky eater, and then he will say that he will eat something, then when I give it to him, he changes his mind....
What I need advice on is how I should handle this....
Here is the senerio....
Tonight, I made chicken and broccoli casserole, my son said "Yummy!!" when I showed him what we were eating, and he was all excited, when I put it in front of him, he pushed it away and started crying and saying "NO NO! All gone!!!"
My husband and I told him to sit and eat, and I forced a piece of chicken into his mouth (a very very small piece) and told him to chew and swallow... it took him about 10 minutes to finally swallow it....
My question is, how would you handle this...
Would you be calm but stern, telling him to eat his chicken, he needs to be a good boy and obey, the chicken is good for him....
Or scream at him and tell him to eat his chicken now or else he will go to bed right now.
I need to know who is right! What to do! Help!
2006-11-08 13:46:58 · 21 answers · asked by mrs. ruspee 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
My husband then had a huge fight because we both handled it differently, I was calm but stern, and he screamed....
He said that he wouldn't let me be all nice and calm because that's not how you make your child do what you want, you need to be stern and yell...
I want to find a middle ground, so then my husband and I can be on the same page and support each other.....
2006-11-08 13:48:48 · update #1
Wow, nice husband. Yeah, yell at the kid, I think we all know how well yelling works. Honestly, if the kid is hungry he will eat. No snacks, no treats, nothing but what he is offered or agrees to, try giving him 2 choices. If he won't eat, fine. He will not starve himself I promise, and you need to show him who is the boss. Follow through on your consequences, do not pity him, he WILL EAT eventually! And never ever disagree in front of your child. You and your husband may not agree but when your kid sees it he will know he can play you two against each other. You have to be a united front.
And don't try reasoning with the kid. Here are your choices, which do you want. Ok, he picks one then won't eat it, don't sit there trying to convince him. Put his plate away, make him sit while you finish, and ignore him. Good or bad he is getting attention and that is what he wants.
2006-11-08 14:44:16 · answer #1 · answered by my_son_wants_to_know 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well first off I'd stand your ground on the 'if you dont eat your dinner you dont get any dessert" rule....because if you keep giving up he's gonna figure out all he's gotta do is wait and you'll eventually cave and give in.
I dont know if this will work but when my nephew is over (he's also 2, and also a picky eater) I have 2 things I do with him that usually work ..First I work with the "kids always want what other people have " method. I dont give him any food...but i make myself a plate. I sit down to eat and start going mmmmm this is so yummy..and act like I'm really enjoying it...eventually, he wants some of this amazing food that im enjoying so much.
I also use the reverse psychology method. Tell a kid not to do something, whats the first thing they do? ..exactly what you told them not to do. If he's fussing and not wanting to eat, I tell him "you better not eat that food ....you better not do it ....." Being a 2 year old, and having a 2 year old mind, he gets a sly smile on his face and slowly begins eating like he's just outsmarted me. Which is amusing. As I said I dont know if either one of these methods will work but its worth a shot. Also your husband shouldnt scream at him.....that never works, it'll just make him more stubborn about not eating.
2006-11-08 21:56:41 · answer #2 · answered by Dani 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most kids can be picky at that age.
1. Try to include him in the meal choice. Let him pick from a few different htings what to have for dinner.
2. Make sure that you put a balanced plate in front of him. Protein, fruits, veggies, a starch. If he picks at it you'll know he getting good things.
3. Limit snacks during the day.
4. Don't allow a lot of junk. You want anything he puts in his mouth to be a healthy choice.
5. Remember that kids his age really don't need a lot of food. His body works differently so that he'll get what he needs over the course of a week, not a day.
2006-11-08 21:54:02 · answer #3 · answered by Annie Hightower 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would do neither. You need to be matter of fact when you feed him not reward him with a reaction. At every mealtime put his food in front of him and sit down and eat. If he is finished when everyone else is fine...if not then take it away and dont say anything. Dont give him anything else. The next mealtime do the same thing. If he eats it good...if not then take it away. Give him any midmeal snacks he normally gets such as a sandwich or a piece of fruit in the morning but nothing else. By the next day he should be eating his meals normally. He does this because you react to it...it is a power struggle. As long as he is drinking he can go a long time with no food but that wont be necessary. When he sees that you wont give in he will eat. Good luck.
2006-11-08 21:52:36 · answer #4 · answered by dragonrider707 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it's so easy to turn these things in to power plays. However hes a kid and they generally are grazers. Healthy snacks only no junk whatso ever I had to learn this the hard way Cause my son would hold out for the "good stuff" Dessert is a reward and you only get it if you eat you meal. No junky snacks during the day he'll figure it out just will take a while and meal time keep it regular.. Wther it's a 5 or 6 or 7 keep it the same. and super small portions
And tell good old dad to save the battles for high school when he wants the keys to his car..hehe good luck
2006-11-08 22:24:14 · answer #5 · answered by mamalittle 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!, I had 3 kids never had a problem with them eating, IL share with you. Never force the child to eat, never yell at the child for not eating, that's just dumb. Don't make special meals, Put a plate of food in front of little joey. You guys finish your meal and say nothing to him . If he doesn't eat tell him that's too bad because its all the food he will get that night and let it go. Do not give him a snack or anything besides water the rest of the evening. Repeat this at every meal and I guarantee you the little guy will eventually get hungry enough to eat without complaining. He's got your guys number right now and hes dialing it....
2006-11-08 21:54:19 · answer #6 · answered by Donald P 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
When my children (ages 1,4,7) refuse to eat I just don't offer anything else for the rest of the night. I tell the older 2 that I just have to offer it, I don't have to make sure they eat. I also make my children sit with the family until dinner is done. I mean DONE!!! Hubby and I like to spend at least 20 extra minutes talking on those nights. Then I let them get down. I do not put their food away. I leave it on the table. They will go eat some if they are hungry. Usually it only gets to us eating and talking and not caring if they are eating or not and they start eating. I would suggest trying that. It has worked for all my children so far and they are both sexes. Good luck.
2006-11-08 21:51:41 · answer #7 · answered by Mrs. Always Right 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I've been down this road quite a few times with my 3 yr old. So I can fully understand your frustration. Here's the rule in my house:
If you don't eat what's in front of you ..... you don't get anything else. If it's something he hasn't eaten before ..... tell him he needs to TRY it. That's all you ask. My parents used to even set a timer and tell them they had 10 minutes to eat or they were done and would sit there til the rest of us were done eating.
I've caught myself a couple of times showing my daughter a treat (either a sucker, or ice cream, or cookie) and telling her if she took 3 bites, then she could have the treat. This seemed to work pretty well with her, and now, she eats at dinner time.
Here's another suggestion: To get him to eat chicken.....try giving him some ketchup, or honey, or something to dip it in. THis is the only way I can get her to eat meat. It's a texture thing for her.
Good luck!
2006-11-08 21:54:17 · answer #8 · answered by Mom of 2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I sound like a mean mother, but I put it in front of my daughter- if she wants to eat, she will. Otherwise she stays in her seat until we are done eating and then she can get down. I never make her anything different. Sometimes though, she is just not hungry and I never force her. Kids will eat when they are hungry, weather they like it or not. So, that is what I do. I hope it helps some! Good Luck!
2006-11-08 21:51:21 · answer #9 · answered by andi_sue_storm 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i had a very similar problem with my daughter when she was about that age. i took her to the doctor and asked him what i should do. his answer was "nothing". He said that i should give her the food and if she is hungry she will eat, if not just put the food in the fridge and offer it to her again later. he told me not to give in and fix her something else at every meal. Doing that will only cause the problem to worsen, plus put more work on yourself. this is only a stage and it will pass soon. in the meantime, goodluck! by the way, i have 2 kids, now they are 17 and 12 so i have had experience with this! lol
2006-11-08 21:53:40 · answer #10 · answered by I know, I know!!!! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋