Baby gates?

Question

My daughters going to be 4 in jan.....she still wont sleep in her own room...She has the cute lil night light and the nice princess bed sheets...im really hoping after christmas with all her new toys...(i got her a ton of stuff) she might start sleeping in her bed..because every night she sleeps in between my husband and i....its not just her sleeping with us...ever night she has to hold my hand...and if she wakes up in the night without it she screams non stop...This woman i work with told me to babygate her in her room...after xmas with all her new stuff...and she might start sleeping in there...(im just hoping she does it on her own) We've tried everything me sleeping in her room...and then getting up and leaving...or her sleeping in our room and then moving her to her room...i tried sleeping in her floor and holding her hand...i know shes only 3 and shes really dependent on me right now...but i just....i love her to death..but i need space...specially in my queen sized bed!!!!

Is there anything else i could try before trying the baby gates?...i really just want her to sleep in her own bed..her beds a twin size..shes got plenty of room....They sound okay but i know shes going to cry...and ijust dont know if i can leave her in there..lol but i dont want her sleeping in my bed til shes 15!!!

well we've even tried movin her to a mattress on the floor..next to her bed...and that worked for about a week and then we tried to move her a lil further away from our bed to the hall....and she freaked and now shes back in our bed

Yeah we've done the big girl thing...and your not a baby no more...so you dont have to sleep with us..cause you have a big girl bed..and all your big girl stuff...and she still insists in sleeping in our room...and sometimes she goes so far shell...say im the baby...and i know shes our baby...lol...theres really no reward system..this girl has everything under the sun and then some...lol.....

Answer 1

I would never lock my daughter in her room in the hopes of her saying in her bed, that is one temper tamtrum I will have nothing to do with. If her sleeping in the hallway freaked her out, can you imagine the feelings she will have? I think greadual is best...does she nap in her bed? if not I would start with that, let her get used to sleeping there with the lights on, in the daytime. Then I would try getting her to sleep in her bed at night, even if she gets up and crawls in bed with you later, some alone time is better than none, and once she got used to going to sleep in there, and waking up alone, she would eventually be able to fall back to sleep on her own. Sit next to her wheile she is going to sleep, in a chair, or start on the edge of her bed, then move away from the bed, a little bit at a time...it could take a few weeks, but I know it works.
As she gets more comfortable with you not being next to her, she will be more self assured, and less likely to throw fits while she is alone. After she gets used to waking up and being in there alone, she will start drifting back off to sleep, and *finally* there will be a night when you wake up in your bed, with out your beautiful little invader. Best Wishes I know how old it can get...

Answer 2

Have you tried explaining that she is a big girl so she needs to sleep in her own bed and then working out a system of rewards?

However, my friends kid was doing the same thing and they locked her in her room. The first night she screamed on and off, the second morning they found her asleep on the floor in front of the door and that was it they never had another problem.

You may find if you are firm and put your foot down and take her back to her room everytime she gets up you may find she just accepts it. Ever watched Supernanny? Sometimes the kids just go "Oh, ok you really mean it. No problem, I get it" (Now I will admit there are kids that scream for a long time night after night, but it's worth a shot no?)

Answer 3

She's only sleeping in your bed because you still let her. Put her in her bed tell her that she Will no longer be sleeping in your bed. You may want take some vacation time since you probably won't get any rest for awhile. The only way your going to change it is to not give in no matter what. Crying and screaming won't hurt her. Do not react to her when she does. Put her to bed if she gets up, put her back. If it takes 30 times or 100 times keep doing it. She will eventually wear out you need to outlast her. no naps during the day, no caffeine for her,(plenty for you) she wil eventually get tired. YOU MUST BE CONSISTENT even if it takes a week of no sleep. Don't let her play you and your spouse against each other, you are a team be strong. Don't give up. Don't give in.
Tell her ahead of time and remind her through the day. Have some quiet rocking time before bed and tell her you will rock again in the morning after she says in her bed all night.
I promise you this won't last forever as long as you don't give in.

Answer 4

You have to let go some time. Kids cry when they don't get there way. I think maybe the gate is a little to dramatic but I don't think shutting the door will do it. Try the gate if you are so desperate. We use one at night in front of our daughters room only because she likes to get up and wonder around and that's not very safe for a two year old. she does fine with it. I get up before she does in the morning so I can take it down before she wakes but it makes me feel better knowing she is safe so use it with your own judgment. Like I said she is going to throw a fit she's 3 almost getting to old to change habits easily if you know what I mean...

Answer 5

Try taking her shopping for a new doll. Tell her that her "new baby" will get lonely without her in the bed with her, the same way she gets lonely without you. You may need to stay in her bed with her in her room while she transitions the first couple of nights, perhaps reading them both a story or something, but be sure and get up and leave, telling her and her "baby" good night. Kiss them both to sleep. If she gets up, walk her back to her room and just remind her that she now needs to sleep with "her baby" just like you slept with her. Children at this age are developing a sense of independency, but are still needing to know that Mommy is still there. Now that she can show her new "baby" what you've taught her, it might help to break these first heartbreaking strings.

Answer 6

I don’t know that I would gate my child in his room. Seems to be a safety issue. When my son refused to make the change from my room to his, I talked to his dr and my friend who is a child pchy and they both told me to put him in bed just before he falls asleep. If he cries let him cry for a min (whoa talk about a long min) the go in put back in bed and comfort then leave….let em cry for 2 mins (another long two mins) and go back with out picking up guild back to bed cover and comfort…let em cry and stay for 5 mins (that was my breaking point I had a hard time with the 5 min) and you keep this up until they pass out workin up to 20 mins. It was so hard on me and I cried with him but in two days he got the idea. Also he got a special sleep toy. He only got to cuddle with this toy in his bed, so if he slept in his bed he got his toy. To this day that toy is his comfort. Now my son was younger he was less than 1 so I am sure your daughter can open the door not sure what to suggest there. Sorry but I do wish you the best of luck.

Answer 7

My biggest suggestion is to get this book called "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Dr. Richard Ferber. It really did wonders for us with our 19month old son. I have to do the program now with my 3 year old daughter. She is the same as your daughter but she has to have her fingers up my nose! It's a thing she used to do when I breast fed her and it's the only way she'll go to sleep. So we'll move on to her with the program next. FYI it took only 4 nights of "progressive waiting" with my son.

Answer 8

I took my daughters out to buy them a stuffed toy and made it a special day I told them that the toy only liked to sleep in their big bed it took a little while for them to sleep in their bed by themselves but they really wanted their toy so they started to go in their own bed.

Answer 9

The only thing we can't teach our children is how to fall asleep. That's self taught. Unfortunately, due to her age, it's going to be difficult to change a behavior she has been allowed to learn, BUT...it can be done...IF you are willing to put the effort into it. I had a son that refused to stay in his room and sleep. I ended up (as cruel as it sounds) taking everything out of his room...and only left a mattress on the floor with his blanket and pillow. I then put him in his room and was forced to let him cry it out. It took 2 weeks, but he eventually learned that I was serious about bedtime. Once he started accepting that bedtime is bedtime, I started allowing some of his things back in his room, until he had everything back and we all got better sleep because of it. It sucks hearing your baby scream like you are hurting them, but it REALLY, REALLY is for their own good. She needs her sleep and can't get a solid nights sleep with you and her dad as her comfort to get back to sleep. She needs to learn that all on her own. Good Luck to you!

Answer 10

I feel for you. my daughter likes to sleep in our bed so we started a tradiation that if she sleeps in her bed at night time, she can sleep in our bed with me at nap time. I know you love your child but her having to hold on to your hand is a bit much. I ssume she has never had sleep overs anywhere?

She needs to find comfort in something other than your hand at night. shutting her in her room with a bunch of new toys just sounds very foolish to me. She's going to feel abandond if you do that! Why not try taking her to pick out a new blnket or stuffed animal and tell her she can only have it while she's in her bed. That way she has something to associate bed, sleep and comfort with.

http://www.babycentre.co.uk/toddler/sleep/