family problem plz advise??how can i move out??can some one give me any opinions?

Question

i love my mom and dad but part of me cant stand them, my mom for cheating on my dad even tho i kno he gave her a really hard time in the past, and my dad for blaiming everything on me i dun understand how is it my fault she doesnt love him anymore n his only wit her for money problems..anyways i hAVE DEPRESSION .. ive been having it since like freshman yr when i had to move to get a rest from my parents to N.C for a lil while w/ a my moms friend now im a junior but this drama is all hittin me back so hardly like my mom buys me everything i want as clothes n all that but u cant make someone feel loved cuz they got clothes what am i going to do hug the clothes?? well anyways im 16yrs old and i work in paneras bread 7dollars and hr..i have a ferret that i love n hes like my baby..i guess animals do keep ppl more happy cuz he has so far..well anyways i wanna move out to like at list a room n take this lil fella...but is it enough to survive??juss for a while at list? thakns for all guys

by the way plz dun say just tlk to them is not that easy to just forget about what someone does to u... ooh n i love them but i just can be wit them under the same roof it effects me wayyy more than it does to them....bsides my dad has told me b4 he regrets me .

even tho he doesnt really mean it when he says it ..it hurts.. and i dun wanna seek school cousinling my school n just going to make this a bigger fuzz..i wana do it very calmly and sure of wat im doing..

by the way my school sucks n i dun wanna tlk to them, i dun wanna move wit ppl i dun kno eather.. i wanna b on my own...by i kno im young...but still i live in nj..cant u move wit a roomate whos 18? idk anything else..

he rexalen a ferret is not a bird...lol all of this ans have been so great thanks alot guys.

Answer 1

Look, you've got 2 more years of free rent and financial things taken cared of for you. Stay home and finish high school...that is the best thing that you can do to ensure that you have a good future. Keep your job and save your money. Move out after you graduate.

Hang in there. I lived in a situation where my dad and I didn't talk (not a single word) for 2 years. I moved out the day after I graduated. I had money, I had a car and most of all, I had a diploma. You can do it.

Answer 2

Well. Your Dad sounds like an idiot. And that is being kind. But we cannot pick our Parents can we? First, the part about your mom cheating on your dad. It hurt your feelings yes. But that is as far as it should go. The rest really is none of your business(her cheating). Hopefully she has apologized for hurting you.
I can see why you feel depressed. No, your mom cannot buy your love, but perhaps she is trying to show it. You hug her and I bet she will hug back. Some people who have been hurt have a hard time showing all the love they have for another. If your father has been hard on her, perhaps she feels not worthy to show her love with hugs/kisses. Or she is afraid to. For fear of rejection.
Have you tried speaking to a counselor/therapist? They are affordable and your school counselor could certainly point you in the direction you need. If you still feel you must move out, have you thought of the price of living on your own? Moving from one place to the next can be worse than right now. There is rent, how will you get to work? Clothing, food, laundry, animal care, your own health care. If you have a car, car payments, gas, insurance. Do you have other family members you can live with? You said you went to N.C. for a while with a friend of your moms to live. I am not sure how far away that is from where your parents are, but that does not sound good. Or grounded or stable.
If you have your own room at home, between school, work and homework, also friends, does that not occupy a lot of time? Have you tried to fill the time at home with things that interest you and keep you busy. Too busy to worry about the 2 adults that act like children.
If your father continues to be abusive emotionally please tell your school counselor or somebody who can help. Good Luck and make wise choices!

Answer 3

Okay, not sure where to start.

You can't blame your mom for cheating on your dad.....that is between them and had nothing to do with you. Since we don't know what all goes on between a couple then we can't judge.

Your dad probably isn't really blaming everything on you, he's probably just pissed at the world and everything is coming out negative and you are just there. Try not to take it personally, just remember he's hurt and may be feeling guilty for your mothers cheating.

Do you take medicine for the depression? have you been back to the doctor? Sometimes our meds need adjusted. You are in a bad situation in between those two. I know it's hard not to take it personally when you are living there.

I doubt $7 an hour would ever be enough to live on. But you are on the right track.....steady work anywhere will look great on a resume when you get out of school. School is stressful enough without all this drama at home. But you are almost done! Try concentrating on making plans for when you graduate. So do you know what you want to do for a career? Maybe if you focus on that you can forget about your parents and their problems.

Just remember we have lots of chances in life for love. If it's tough to feel love from your parents focus on making yourself into the best person you can. Have confidence in yourself...that makes you attractive and know you will have love in the future. And you sound like you've learned so much about what not to do as a parent, and the fact you sound very responsible with your ferret, that you will make yourself into a great mom.

Today is only temporary. Remember, getting through this will make you a better person. You've had enough stress as a teen.......only fair if your life goes easy as an adult!!

Good luck!!

Answer 4

What you have to realize is you can't fix their problems and it's not your fault (really, it's not!) --- they made bad decisions and they have to learn to deal with them. You aren't old enough to get your own place(would your mom help you do that? - And money wise you'll need more than 7 dollars an hour to pay for living expenses)
Encourage your parents to seek marriage/Family counseling(and some counseling could do you some good too0 that's all you can do --- sorry you are caught in the middle but since you do have a job - that and school will keep you out of the house... and if you have relatives you can visit - then go spend weekends with them or alternate between relatives and friends. If your parents ask why aren't you home more tell them it's hard to be there when there so much dissension.

Answer 5

I joined the Army at 19 because my parents both treated me like garbage throughout my life, and I was the only normal child out of 4. They changed when I came back; practically hailed me as a hero. I guess what I'm saying is a drastic change, can benefit everyone, in some cases. As far as $7/hour being able to afford you a place of your own, you need an adult to sign for you first off, and no, that's not enough income unless you're working full time, then maybe you might be able to afford low income housing. You can always petition the court to obtain a declaration of emancipation too. This basically says you're officially your own guardian, and that you're responsible for yourself.

Answer 6

Realistically, moving out should be the last resort. At sixteen you find only more troubles trying to go it alone. No one is going to want you around for very long. Many will want you for the possibility of sex, but others will just want to use you until they have used you up.

I personally think you need to seek counselling, regardless of how you feel about the school. I have been to several different types of schools in my life nad I never found 1 that at least I couldn't find someone in authority to talk with and help me through the isues of life.

If you move out, you pet bird will be the first casualty because most people, even animal lovers have a hrad time accepting someone else's pet. Bide your time, save your money, and bite your lip, and do not make any hasty decisions. Find someone to talk with and you will be okay.

Answer 7

Sorry. been there. Bounced around since age 10. Lived with older siblings off and on. At 16 was back with a mother who drank and I couldn't stand it. I ended up oleaving when I was almost 18 with an older guy. With him 14 yrs. Had 2 girls, never married. So, I can relate. Just let me say this. As hard as it may seem. It is liveable. Don't get out too soo and get in a position where you feel like you have to do something because you don't have a choice. Try to just do what you can to help out and study, study, study. that needs to be your focus. they are who and what they are and it's not up to you to fix or it's not you that messed up. they did or one of them did, but, they did it, not you. Now, live there and keep your feelings to yourself other than talking to clergy, counselor or a best friend or another older family member that you can confide in. Mind your business. don't let them use you or put you in the middle. Tell mom if she starts telling you stuff that you are upset and think she should keep things to herself, which she should. You're trying to groe up and she's acting like a teenager. Just do what you have to do and spend as much time as you can with others that you know understand you. Bide your time, get educated and concentrate on getting great grades so you can get in college. Focus, so you won't have to get married or depend on a man, you'll be able to make your own money, hearin me? This is the time for planning for that future, your future. They had their time. It's your time soon. someday you will be out of this. If you are upset where you don't sleep good buy some benadryl for allergies, take it at night for sleep. They give it to old people in nursing homes, it's safe. Just take it early so you're not drowsy the next day...that's if you aren't allergic to it. Just hang in and do what you have to to get through the next 2 yrs. OK? Love coming your way.

Answer 8

Depending on the state, you may not ne legally able to move out at 16. In California, you are not an adult until you're 18. I think you need help from an adult you can trust in your area. How about a minister, or school counselor? Maybe they can head you in the right direction? I'm not saying don't do it, I'm saying know your facts first! We've all lived with roommates, too, and that might just work for you. Good luck!

Answer 9

Listen, just suck it up. I couldnt stand being home, and my parents were a pain in the @ss. But to be honest, you are too young and dont make enough to survive on your own, and I am not putting you down at all. Its really expensive to live on yur own. You should try to spend as little time at home, hang with friends and go to school. Go to college after and live on campus if you can or, try to stay at home as long as possiblewhile going to school and save EVERY extra penny you earn. That way, when you are really ,really ready to move, you will have the means and knowledge to move out and not have to come back home other than to visit. Just try to make the best of it for now, and you will be better off in the long run.

Answer 10

I would talk to your school councilor if I were you. Everyone says that your job is to do well in school and graduate, but you are more than just a student, you are a person too. You can't do as well in school with all this drama going on in your house. Your councilor should have the resources to help find a place for you to stay. Sometimes there are houses or funds for students your age to live apart from your parents and finish HS.