Bastard with a Hammer
A) A judge working a double-homicide case tells the defendant, “You’re charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer.” “You bastard!” yells a voice from the back of the courtroom. “You’re also charged with killing your mother-in-law with a hammer,” says the judge. “Bastard!” the same person yells. The judge addresses the man sitting in the back of the courtroom. “Sir, one more outburst and I’ll charge you with contempt.” “I’m sorry, Your Honor,” says the man. “But I’ve been this bastard’s neighbor for 10 years, and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn’t have one.”
B.) The Pickle Slicer
One day, Bill comes home from the pickle factory where he works and confesses to his wife that he has a terrible urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggests he see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill says he’d be too embarrassed, and he vows to overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill
2006-11-08 12:41:50 · 30 answers · asked by lonnie 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
One day a few weeks later, Bill comes home absolutely ashen.
"What’s wrong, Bill?" his wife asks.
"Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?"
"Oh, Bill, you didn’t."
"Yes, I did."
"My God, Bill, what happened?"
"She and I both got fired."
2006-11-08 12:42:05 · update #1
Okay I am a Catholic but the1st was very funney and the 2nd was the one i liked i have got to sotp laughing i got a 1 page report due this friday on why or how drammaocratics are winning against the republicans. well see ya !
2006-11-08 15:27:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well that # A was hilarious! B was ok i didn't really like the penis thing, ouch! But i think that A was a really funny joke nice gob!! hehehahaha oops i spelt go,, i mean job wrong oh well ! bye
2006-11-08 12:47:48 · answer #2 · answered by ♥ღ...∂αηg3яσυѕℓу ιη ℓσν3...ღ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Joke A. That would tick me off, not to lend me a hammer. What A Lying BASTARD!!
2006-11-08 12:46:51 · answer #3 · answered by mymack79 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
B, 'cause I heard A before as a triple homicide with the neighbours borrowed tools.
2006-11-08 12:52:02 · answer #4 · answered by LAUGHING MAGPIE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A definately A
2006-11-08 12:53:53 · answer #5 · answered by SharpieQueen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably A
2006-11-08 12:44:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
B- selfish bastard
2006-11-08 13:26:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am going with "A" the married pickle
factory worker needed to keep his 'pickle'
in his jar, and notgo dipping elsewhere (:
2006-11-08 12:46:49 · answer #8 · answered by Jaymagiclady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They're both funny. Good ones! I'll have to go with A though B was funny too
2006-11-08 12:45:25 · answer #9 · answered by Montez Grl 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
B is better. I've heard A before.
2006-11-08 13:12:03 · answer #10 · answered by revchrist 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋