i told him now he claims that he is suicidal.?

Question

i wrote a question yesterday about telling my boyfriend that i'm NOT having an abortion and i'm having the baby. he is going through a lot with his ex (they don't talk) not letting him see his 5 year old daughter. he says that me keeping this baby is making him want to kill himself and that he hates me. i told him not to come home tonight because he is scarring me. i'm so stressed and really...sad. maybe i need to reconsider my options. i can't talk to my bestfriend because she hates him for all he has put me through in this relationship. what do you guys think? please no hateful answers i already feel like crap!

i let him in and he got so verbally abusive. he also took a shower as soon as he got in, he has cheated before i think he is again. what is wrong with me?

Answer 1

Not your problem. YOU live your life,IF he can't deal with it it's on him. You have to think for TWO now and you know whats best for you and your baby. BE GOOD AND GOD BLESS !

Answer 2

Honestly, you can't control his suicidal notions and you're not responsible for that. He's being really selfish and I'm sure he'll see that one day in the future. I'm not dogging him, I'm just stating a fact. Suicide in and of itself is one of the most selfish things a person can do. With that said; do you have a reason that you'd keep his child from him at any point in the future? If he's no danger to the child then there's no reason you should ever push him out of the baby's life. Make that clear to him! Help him get excited! I know exactly how you feel too. My husband had a baby with another woman 10 years ago (2 years before he and I met) and she took the child from him and told him he'd have to force a paternity test and drag her through court before she'd let him be a part of the child's life because she had a new boyfriend and wanted him to raise the baby as his own. My husband was DEVASTATED and desperately wanted to raise his child, but he loved her enough to let her go because he didn't want her to be forced into having tests run and being torn between families. He knew the boyfriend was at least going to be a good father so he decided he'd rather let the child grow up in a stable home environment. When I got pregnant, my husband FREAKED, even though we'd been together for 8 years. He was so afraid that something would happen again to destroy his happiness that he nearly ruined our marriage with his paranoia. He was afraid either I'd take the child from him like his ex did, even though he knew it was an illogical thought, or the baby would die. He said he'd not survive that if it happened. Our little girl is 14 months old now and even though he loves his 10 year old and still desires to know her, he's doing a little healing by loving our little girl. He knows one day the 10 year old will want to know him (she's aware that he is her biological father as of last year and her mother was killed in a car wreck 2 weeks ago) so he's just waiting until the day she comes to him. The fact that her mother has passed away may play a part in that now. Anyways (I'm rambling, sorry!) just reassure him that you will NOT take his baby from him. Help him get happy. Maybe you could buy him a little gift, like a pair of infant shoes, and give it to him as a physical testimony of your excitement and commitment.
Good luck to you! I'm sure he'll come around!

Answer 3

I think you need to tell him to calm down and stay away for a few weeks. You nor you baby need the stress. Maybe he's afraid that having another child will just give him something else to loose. He probably feels he's lost his daughter. He can fight for her by the way, if he can prove he's a FIT father the courts WILL give him at least partial custody. Is he violent? You said he SCARED you? Maybe that's why his ex won't let him see his daughter? If he is violent or has ever hit you or THROWN anything at you in the past you need to say, F**K him and take your baby and go. Once violent, almost ALWAYS violent. Think about that. Sounds like having another child for this baby is not a good option. BUT PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't ever get an abortion!!!! It's not your child's fault daddy is stressed right now. I'm 25 and I have a child of my own and CAN NOT have any more kids although I long for another. Please DO YOUR SELF A FAVOR AND DON"T GIVE THAT BABY UP! If you do and one day have another baby and see how wonderful it is, you'll regret getting rid of this one for the rest of your life. You know what? Its sounds like your best friend maybe right. You may not want her to be, but sometimes a friend can see things we cannot. You don't want an unstable person in your relationship. Unless you like drama. I wish you the best! What ever you do, do it for that baby!

Answer 4

The only thing you need to reconsider is staying there with him. It doesn't matter that he is going through a rough time (we all do), it doesn't matter that he is depressed. What matter is that you have a baby coming that you want and you should focus on doing what is best for that angel you are carrying. Move. get help from friends and family but move. Put some distance between you and suicidal. You have read the newspapers, sometimes suicidal turn homicidal.

Answer 5

I think that you keeping the baby is an awsome move by you. No offence but your boyfriend sounds really, well, dumb. If he didnt want you to get pregnant, he shouldent have had sex with you. I really doubt hes going to kill him self, hes just trying to get to you and dont let him win. If I were you, I wouldent let him come home at all. Im sorry your in such a sad situation. Have you guys talked about adoption?

Answer 6

It might help you to go to Planned Parenthood where they can tell you about your options and you won't feel so alone.
Remember that whatever he does, is his own choice. You did not MAKE him do anything. If he choses suicide, then that was his way of dealing with life's problems. He has choices and you can't make them for him.
Make your decision based on what is best for you and for the baby. If you do what he wants without considering your own feelings, then you may have a hard time living with yourself later.

Answer 7

As terrible as this sounds I think I agree with him, but not for his benefit, for yours. It doesn't seem like this is a stable guy, and I'm telling you from experience that it's a very hard thing to go through when you have to try to explain to your child why his father isn't there. I think your BF is making excuses, and being lame so you can take pitty on him, he is obviously not the guy for you, and it would be easier for you not to blame his problems and issues on yourself. Seriously think about it. You sound like a smart girl, and cut your ties, this guy can't seem to handle everyday life problems.

Answer 8

you need to look after yourself now. never mind what he wants. he really sounds dangerous to me. get as much information as you can about places a woman can go to in times of trouble. check your phone book. these ladies might be able to help you find a place to live, etc. i don't understand why your best friend won't talk to you. is that just something you think or are you sure of it? i know you are feeling the full brunt of this situation right now, but you will get through it, i know.

Answer 9

i am sorry if the creep wants to off himself that is his problem not yours
do not go against your beliefs hold true to you thats all you have
from the sounds of things you do not need him let him go get rid of him you do not need to put you thru this or your unborn baby
so next question some super star off himself that your fault
nope
a friend does himself in is that your fault
nope
this guy (loser) does himself in that your fault nope
can you not see he is manipulating you to get an abortion thats all this guy is a manipulator how many other time he manipulated you think about it

Answer 10

your doing the right thing by not letting him come over this evening or until he sounds more reasonable. don't you have other options other friends family you can spend time with and talk you. specially right now that you're having a baby. congrats.

Answer 11

Do what you feel is best.

He will come around. He's just been hit hard and this situation has probably opened up old wounds. He will deal with them as much as he can - give him his space for now.