How do you make sure that the first child doesn't feel left out?

Question

My friend has just had her second child and as the god mother of her first i'm worried she will feel left out and bitter towards the new baby. All through the pregnancy they tried to involve her (she's only 1) but now he's here what steps can i do to help my friend? She's a real good mum but i just want to help. Any suggestions?
(as you can tell no children for me as yet!)

Answer 1

it is only natural that there will be a little bit of resentment.

it's really important to involve the eldest in every aspect possible- from helping change the baby, to playing/singing etc (obviously supervised)

At 1 years old, they cannot understand other peoples perspective. Although they will be aware of changes, but there world view is very self centred.
They will not underestand the needs of the baby, and will naturally feel a little annoyed that they are not the centre of attention.
Your friend will find that there are huge benefits to having children so close in age, as they grow up they will probably be really close. as long as they are treated equally there shouldn't be major problems.

Answer 2

My niece is going through the same thing. She's 5 and she has a 7 month old brother. Since she's been the center of attention for the past 5 years (she was also the only grandchild for those amount of years too), she's carrying a little bit of resentment towards her little brother. We try to give her attention, but she seems more reserved. She isn't talking as much as she used to. She's starting to play with her food when she didn't have that problem before. She's starting to act like an infant all over again. She try to talk to her about it, but she's resistant towards us. I think she's looking for the attention more from her parents than anyone else.

I have another friend who went through the same thing. When she had her second child, her first was 4 and she was potty trained by then. Once her baby brother was born, she would wet her pants and ask her mom to change her.

I guess this is a common tale. Since your god daughter is only 1, it won't be so bad (hopefully). Once her sibling gets older, they'll be like two peas in a pod! I guess you all just have to be patient. It's all about the attention -- they're not used to sharing.

Good luck!

Answer 3

27 is unquestionably no longer previous to have yet another toddler i replaced into 36 when I had my final toddler. my different 2 infants at the instant are 21 and 18 and my youngest is 5. he's no longer ignored in any respect. The older ones nevertheless play with him and if something he gets greater interest then they did as there are various human beings around to shelter him. He would not miss out with infants his very own age as I relatively have continually made specific we blend with others with infants of comparable an prolonged time.

Answer 4

It's nice of you to want to help your friend. My suggestion is to continue involving the older child. Allow her to be a part of everyday things. "Come and help mommy with the baby". "Good girl, thank you." "You are a good big sister." Commendation. Make a "big" deal. "Yeaaah!" Also schedule alone time with the older child, without the baby there. Maybe during babys nap, or someone else having/holding the baby ? "This is mommys time with you..." Cuddle, hugs, kisses. Confirmation. And when relatives and friends comes to see the newborn, bring the older one near too. In that way she feels less left out, jealous.

Answer 5

when we had our second, we asked everyone before they came round to visit, not to go to the baby first, but to make a fuss of our eldest, and also if any presents were being bought could our eldest have a little something too, even just a choccy bar or something, and everyone did, it made it more exciting for her and she loved it when everyone then went to see the baby, and would sit and watch happily. I think the main thing for people who dont live there is to make a fuss of the other child first even when they are a few months old.

Answer 6

The best thing to do is to treat both children equally with love and affection, and not to pay more attention to one than the other. When mum is busy with the baby, Dad If is there at the time can occupy 1 year old .

Answer 7

I'm expecting twins and already have a 6 yr old. He is a part of everything that I can involve him in, even now, so that when the twins come it wont be that big an adjustment. He is very excited at the prospect of being a bigger brother!
If your friend followed a similar ideology she should do fine.
Wish her luck for me!!

Answer 8

Every child is unique, it is in most people to fear not being able to have enough love to go around. We love people for different reasons or for different qualities they have. It's no different where our children are concerned. It will come naturally I promise, to make your first born feel special because they are! A nice present will also go along way because the baby will receive loads! Good luck! X

Answer 9

let the second child get the nappies etc for the baby make her feel wanted and let her put her soother into her mouth if the baby cries with the help of mum/dad. when you change the babys bum after you clean it etc let the child put it into the bin. just let her do things and praise her a lot and tell her how wonderful she is. i had to do it with my first child when the second boy was born and it worked

Answer 10

She can still give the first child a lot of attention. New Born's sleep
a lot, so there is no excuse why she can't keep the other child
occupied. She needs to learn a lot, so she can be teaching her
how to use the potty chair, how to play educational games, how
to do toddle things.