Giving up your parental rights?

Question

I want the father of my unborn child to sign his parental rights over. I got him to sign on a contract we both wrote up one night, but later the next day, I was told it didn't mean anything unless it was notarized. After I explained that to him, he backed out. Is that true or can I still use that paper we both signed as legal? Can I do anything without him having to be present to get this done as soon as possible? Also...is there any other way that I can do this without having to go through court procedures? I know it's going to be hard to prove he's an unfit parent, but his morals and his life are screwed up badly and I don't want him in my child's life. The baby isn't born yet. I live in Illinois if anyone knows the law here. I've done some research and haven't really come up with too much.

Answer 1

My understanding is he can't legally give up his parental rights unless a Judge approves it in court. This is because it's your baby's legal right to have access to both a father and a mother. Even if the man doesn't want to be a father, your baby has legal rights. For instance, child support. Also, if something happened to the dad, and he died say in an accident that wasn't his fault, and his estate received a monetary settlement, your child would be legally entitled to share in that settlement So, unless another man is willing to step in and adopt your baby and be your baby's legal father, a court will NOT take away the biological father's parental rights UNLESS he's determined by the court to legally be an unfit parent. In other words, it's not your or his decision, but rather the court's decision, with the court's interest being what's in the best interest of the child.

Answer 2

My daughter just went through this situation, but she did not do anything until the baby was born. But she did not get him to sign over his rights, he changed for the good! And is a wonderful father now. But it was not that great in the beginning, he did not have anything to do with my daughter or the baby. The law gives the father 1yr to have something to do with the baby, and if he does not it is considered abandonment, and he automatically looses his rights. Keep that letter he signed for future proof, but give it a try. The baby really needs his father, and you need the extra support (money) if it all works out. You never know, it could all work out for the best, and the baby could make a difference in the life of the father, and help him to change his life around. Strange things happen when a new baby is born, it is a gift from God. And besides the dad has a right too, just give it a chance.
I will pray for you and your situation. Good Luck

Answer 3

Well, I suggest not letting him be in the delivery room. After you give birth and they are doing the paperwork. You will sign your childs birth certificate. And the father also can. Just leave it blank. Don't let him sign it. And give your child your last name. When I had my daughter,her father didn't sign the birth certificate. So if he wants rights to the child,he will have to prove that he is the father. Which means he will have to pay for a paternity test. If he is so screwed up then maybe he won't be able to come up with the money. This should help you out a little bit. I would also recommend calling a lawyer. Most of them will listen tp your problem and give you free advise over the telephone. Ask the laywer if the father has any rights to the child,if you are not married. Good Luck!!

Answer 4

first of all you should make sure this is really what u wanna do and that it is in the BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD and not just ur best interest. just because u may not wanna see him ne more doesn't mean the child should hafta suffer. a child deserves a mother and a father. whatever is wrong with him maybe u can get him help so that he can become a good father. plus it can be hard for some people to raise a child on their own financially, emotionally, etc... and despite what u think you'll need him for something!! it all breaks down to this: YOU KNEW THE TYPE OF PERSON HE WAS BEFORE YOU SLEPT WITH HIM AND YOU KNEW THE CONSEQUENCES OF SLEEPING WITH HIM SO IF U FELT THIS WAY U SHOULD HAVE JUST KEPT UR LEGS CLOSED AND THINK NEXT TIME!! as far as finding out about laws in ur state u can try firstgov.gov.

Answer 5

I admire your spunk to go it alone rather than subject your baby to that! I'm just not sure I'd rely on a paper you draw up yourself even if it was notarized. Issues of parenthood get complicated and the whole thing could haunt you with years of legal proceedings in the future.

So call a few attorneys and try to get free consultations so you can at least be well informed on the legalities.

Is there a legal aid service in Illinois?

Are there local agencies that deal with unwed mothers? It's a stretch but maybe they have encountered other moms who want a legal end to paternity rights and have a resource you can use.

Good luck to you sweetie.

Answer 6

I don't know the law in Illinois but giving up parental rights can't be done anywhere without legal involvement. To protect your child and yourself, get a professional in family law to draft the documents, and if the father of your child won't sign them, you'll have no choice but take him to court where you'll have to prove that he is an unfit parent. Start making notes and provide the lawyer with as much information as you can to beef up your case and keep your costs down - preferably with facts you can prove by having witnesses, videos, tape recordings, e-mails, anything solid that proves he is not fit to share custody. If you can't afford a lawyer, get to a social worker and legal aid a.s.a.p.

Answer 7

This one is difficult. But I was in a similar situation, except he was never willing to give up his rights at all. The day I found out I was pregnant (we broke up before I found out) I told him. I also told him what I expected of him, which was to straighten up and fly right if he ever even wanted to see the baby. I live in Indiana and here if a father goes down to the Health Dept and applies for putative paternity (meaning he might be the father of a baby) he had rights. But he had to do this before the baby is 30 days (might be 60) old. If he has applied, then there is no way to give the baby up with out a paternity test. If you end up going to court over this, and you say you want to give it up for adoption, most likely if he can prove he's the father, they'll give the baby to him. Basically your choices are to keep it or give it to him. I got lucky. Mine straightened up and we got back together after our little girl was born and we're now expecting our third child. Even if you don't stay/get back together with this guy, make him make himself worthy of his baby. That's the best advice I can give you.

Answer 8

You may be able to limit his visitation but if he doesn't want to sign, then he's not going to sign. Definitely apply for child support in that case. (You can also apply for subsidized housing, subsidized daycare, and WIC, and state health insurance. And anything else you qualify for.)

Even if he did sign legal papers he has good odds of being able to contest it later and win. The court tends to favor a biological parent. I would suggest you recommend that he get his act together. If he doesn't want to waive his rights then he needs a good job. Find out what he expects for visitation.

Respond to what he is telling you. Do not react. Take a breath, think of what you want to say and say it calmly and respectfully. Respond. This teaches Respect.

The more you dig your heels in about this the more he is going to defy you. Odds are he's going to want minimal contact with his child anyway.

Who knows....maybe he'll grow up.

Check out the link below.

Answer 9

He is the father of this child and you have no right to keep child and father apart. That only hurts the child. There is every chance that the reality of the baby will be like a big slap for him. We all have to accept that there will always be people in our lives and our childrens lives that have different values and different lifestyles than our own. You are the mother it is up to you to guide the child as to what is right and worng.

Answer 10

That paper that you both signed isnt worth anything. Things like this must be done legally through the court system