how you forgive your mom for things she did to you in your past and it haunts you everyday?

Answer 1

Give her a big hug and say I forgive you for things you have done in the past...etc.

Answer 2

I know where your coming from. You will never forgive your mother for things she has done in the past. All you can do is what your doing now. Live with it and try to love her the best way you know how.

Answer 3

The only way to forgive someone is to just forgive them. If the events truly haunt you everyday, you should seek counseling.

Answer 4

That is a very difficult question. My heart goes out to you. If your mom is anything like mine you can't confront her or seek her forgiveness directly. A therapist suggested to me about writing a letter to my mom. One that I would never give her. And put everything in it that I have ever felt. Get everything off your chest. Then seal it and keep it in your secret place or put it in a journal with all your other thoughts, etc. This was actually a very healing experience for me. I hope this helps you. Best wishes to you.

Answer 5

Forgive yourself first. By doing this, you create an atmosphere to forgive others; therefore, you help to change the world and you and others can begin to have Heaven on earth.

To forgive is to give up all hope for a better past. If you are locked in regret over the past, you have less available to your life now. The other problem is that if you don't forgive, then you are in some ways prejudging your future - that you are on guard and defended and helpless, that there's a residual bitterness that influences your capacity for happiness because you haven't resolved something from your past.

Forgiveness allows you a fresh start, whether it's a big insult or a small one. It's like a rain coming to a polluted environment. It clears things. At some point, you can say that this awful thing happened to me. It hurt like hell, yet I'm not going to allow it to take over my life. That's the choice that's always available. When you're with someone who's had tragedy, you offer that choice, although you don't tell them to take it. Without it, they can get stuck in bitterness and revenge. That's the cost of not forgiving.

When you meet people who have forgiven, you see their power. You see the strength and courage it takes to forgive in a world dominated by "an eye for an eye." I can suggest that forgiveness is good for you. I can look to people who have forgiven and seen how they've healed, and I can teach you to forgive, but it's still your decision and your life. I respect people who say they don't want to forgive. This is a huge, human question. There is no one right answer.... however

There's clear evidence that if people apologize, it's easier to forgive. Forgiveness, though, is not limited by that. You can forgive even if the person utters no conciliatory words and suffers no consequence, because forgiveness is always for you. You forgive by remembering what happened and you commit yourself to it never happening again. Or, you can remember it and say, "I'm not going to suffer any more. I'm going to bring some goodness to the people in my life." It's an active quality. It has nothing to do with forgetting. And it's a very powerful statement.

Forgiveness is about healing, it doesn't mean you have to reconcile with or like the person who did it, in this case your mother. You are perfectly able to say, "This was such a heinous act, I sever my relationship with her." And it doesn't mean you don't seek justice. These are separate acts from the inner healing that occurs. Forgiveness means that you don't take what happened as just personal, that you see it as a part of the bigger, ongoing human experience of hurt, resolution, conflict and negotiation.

Part of forgiveness is that you stop blaming. You say, "OK, this terrible thing happened and now it's my responsibility to move forward as best I can. I give myself a better chance of moving forward if I forgive what happened." It's this quality of being able to move on with some openness and trust that's the essential aspect of forgiveness. Continually blaming someone for your suffering gives them enormous power over you. Forgiveness means you take back your power. You literally say, "My life is mine." Give very little power over you to people who are cruel. It seems like a foolish waste of this very short life we have.

Answer 6

That all depends on what she did to you. Firstly, it's not easy to be a parent and mistakes are inevitable. If she is truly sorry for anything she did and is trying to change and show you that she loves you, then I think you should consider forgiving her. Counselling, or talking it through with a third party might help the two of you get over it. However, if what she did is totally despicable, then maybe you should stop seeing her for awhile and go to counselling on your own to come to terms with it and try move on.

Answer 7

I forgave my Mom, and we ended up being very close. I am so happy that I forgave my Mom. Just go to her and say "Mom can we talk? don't criticize her she probably did the best she knew how to do at the time. Maybe she would love for the two of you to get together again!
You could go to a Therapist and talk about the past hurts and pains before you talk to your Mom.

Answer 8

I'm in 1000% agreement with Brian D.

Answer 9

it depends on what she did to you. it is obvious you are going through some trouble and i would suggest seeing someone like a professional to talk about your problems. i'm really sorry you have to go through something like this and even though you don't know who i am, i'm there for you. (i'm not creepy or anything.)

Answer 10

Brian D sums it up perfectly