Anxiety and depression?

Question

I have a real problem here. (In my own mind anyway). I have suffered most of my life with depression and problems with anxiety. I have been forcing myself to "just get over it" and "no one gives a damn so why should you". Self therapy in a way I guess. It's not working anymore...well it never really worked.

I know I should probably see a therapist but my question is this...How do I open up to them? I tried a counselor in high school but I just couldn't talk. I guess I'm ashamed in a way. I was taught that it's no ones business. How do I overcome this? Anyone gone through this sort of crap and how did you do it?

Answer 1

I've found that it's best to let the therapist know right off the bat that this is difficult for you and that you are aware that you may be holding some things back. The worst question a therapist asked me was "What brings you here today?" It was my first visit and the question was overwhelming and I burst into tears and wanted to leave. I ended up saying that I didn't know how to talk about anything and that she had to ask me more specific questions. She then described different feelings and I would agree or disagree and we took it from there. If I felt she left something out, I would jump in and add it. It worked well for me.

I have the tendency to make things sound less bad than they really are. I can spend hours screaming, crying, banging my head against things, having delusional thoughts and wanting to die. Every time I wait for the train I have to force myself not to jump in front of it. When I go to talk to someone I suddenly become all 'intellectual' and I start saying stuff like 'I know suicide is not the answer' and other "sane" sounding things about how I know it's not that bad. I can't help it.

If you let the therapist know right away that you feel you may be downplaying your problems or have trouble talking to strangers they WILL find a way to get around that. They will know the right questions to ask and they will make it very easy for you to communicate. If one therapist doesn't work for you, try another one. You will find someone you can eventually be comfortable with!

Answer 2

You've taken a great first step. You've admitted to yourself and others that you have a situation you can't handle alone.

Find a therapist who specializes in anxiety and depression. The two go hand-in-hand. Tell your therapist how hard it is for you to talk about it. Especially tell the therapist that you learned growing up that your problem is nobody's business. That statement will give your therapist a way to start asking questions.

Most importantly, you must get help dealing with the "no one gives a damn so why should you" statement. This is a Very Dangerous Thought. I strongly urge you to call your doctor tomorrow and tell whoever answers the phone that you have that thought. Tell them you need help right away.

If you don't have a doctor, call your local crisis line and they will put you in touch with help.

You're a good person. You've been taught methods of coping that are no longer serving you well. You have a great opportunity now to learn new methods and feel much better. Take that opportunity.

Answer 3

Sorry to hear of your continued problems. I have watched my father suffer from depression for over 12 years now and although numerous meds (SSRIs) have been prescribed, symptoms continue. Although I cannot comment authoritatively on depression, I have suffered anxiety for years starting back in 2001. I have seen pdocs and therapists and been through nearly a half dozen meds myself (Celexa, Remeron, Luvox, Paxil, and most recently Zoloft), not to mention a list of benzos. Everyone is going to respond differently to the meds, but in my opinion, therapy and a general acceptance of the symptoms is the answer to reducing or eliminating anxiety symptoms. I have been essentially asymtomatic for nearly years now and am only taking 25 mg of Zoloft with plans to further reduce and eventually eliminate meds altogether. If you have not seen a therapist, please do so, but be forewarned that many do not specialize in effective cognitive treatment and need to be scrutinized carefully prior to putting both your trust and money upon them. Since you have been a sufferer for most of your life, you probably know about CBT and other therapies, but do yourself a favor and dive head first in once you find a suitable therapist. Claire Weeks has written a great (easy to read) book (Hope and Help for your Nerves), that helps describe the single most important aspect to overcoming anxiety..."embracing it". The root cause of all anxiety is fear. Once fear is removed from the equation, anxiety will soon fade. This is not to say that it is an easy thing to do, but very effective and worth the effort. Good luck in your journey and let me know if you have any questions. I will try to help you find an answer.

Rob

Answer 4

Hi there,
School counsellors are not therapists so don`t let that experience taint your views. A therapist is a professional guide who will walk you through the treatment process. If you have been suffering that long you should be on meds and do some psychotherapy...hey it`s no big deal...start with how your life is affected by this problem....you will find that the counsellor will ask very specific questions just answer them as best you can...good luck.

Answer 5

I am currently recovering slowly but positively from depression and mild anxiety, through medications and psychiatric therapy (but mostly by the medications).

You need to open up with other people about this problem indeed, and start with your family and friends, or just anyone you trust being around.

You do need to find a good psychiatrist and don't be afraid to take medication, as it helps many more people than it hurts (including me), despite the rumors and myths.

Depression is never anyone's fault, and there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed about, since depression and anxiety are medical illnesses just like cancer and AIDS.

The sooner you deal with this problem directly and head-on, the sooner you will be rid of it, so don't be afraid to ask for help NOW.

May God bless you and heal you.

Answer 6

Took me awhile to come to grips that I needed help. One thing that I learned is, if it's in your head then it's real. Your mind is in control of your body regardless so, you may need some sort of anti anxiety meds. Sure, you feel helpless, embarassed and think that it's your business to just handle it. The problem is that in today's society we have way too much going on inorder to take time to really take care of ourselves, therefore we become unbalanced & may need some support. Panic attacks & depression are not anything to mess with. I thought medication would be quick fix & it took 3 months for me to feel normal again then I went off of the meds thinking I am fine & bam...right back where I started so, I had to start all over again...Life is demanding these days, it's ok to ask for help. See your doctor and explain your symptoms. Look up websites where you can take an assessment & it'll tell you what questions to ask your doctor if you have trouble talking about this.......Good luck.

Answer 7

Been there....But eventually I had to take some action as things got really bad. I was put on a massive dose of antidepressants which did help but the side effects were yukky. I carried on and the side effects improved. I also had councelling. Itoo felt like you butover the course I opened up gradually, led by the councellor. This more than anything else helped. After about 18 months on medication and 6 months of councelling I started to wean off the meds. I got off them over a 6 month period. Now I feel great and if I start to feel doen i dig out my notes from teh councellor and it gets me on the right track again.
Please get help, it really works and you dont ned to suffer!

Answer 8

I haven't gone through it, but mental health professionals have heard it all many times before. And of course they keep your concerns totally confidential.

So, just make "Opening Up" the final step in your self therapy efforts. Then go see a psychiatrist or psychologist. After all, you've got a minor chemical imbalance in the brain. Diabetics have a chemical imbalance, and they're not ashamed, so why should you be ashamed?

I wish you the best!

Answer 9

Just look at the therapist as the only person you are going to confide this in. You may not trust the very first one you meet, but may be able to find one you feel comfortable with and he or she will ease your mind and begin the talking process and coping skills. A good therapist will ask questions that allow you to talk and purge yourself of these painful feelings holding you back.

Answer 10

First, find a therapist you feel comfortable with. I don't mean someone you want to spill your guts out to at your first meeting, but just someone who makes you feel okay, and who you feel okay being around. Your therapist will begin to develop a relationship with you. It's only over time that you may begin to feel like opening up to your therapist. Most of us can't just plop down in a chair and start sharing our deepest thoughts. What I found helpful about therapy is that my therapist helps me approach how I feel and my reactions to those feelings in more constructive ways. Good luck.