My husband's mother of his child and her husband are trying to adopt the child. My husband keeps in touch with her by phone and visits every once in a while ( we live in NJ and she in Colorado) and sends her gifts but they led the child to believe that her stepfather is the real father. There will be a trial for this, if my husband shows upa nd is fighting to not give her up for adoption can he lose, I mean doesn't he have to agree to it.
Just a side note, my husband has a clean record and has no problems that they could bring up like alcohol or drug, etc. He has 2 children with me and a mental health professional has even evaluated him and said he was fit (the court required both parents to do an evaluation or parenting class).
The only thing they could use against him is that he hadn't visited in two years, he called and sent gifts but he was financially unable to travel (it costs over $1200 for flight, hotel, car)
2006-11-08 09:40:11 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
she's only 4 and whenever my husband sent gifts or called the mother would tell the child it was from the stepfather. She couldn't really differentiate between the voices. And my husband is doing this because we are trying to work towards partial custody. We love her and want her in our lives. Plus he thinks it is his olbigation as a father to stay her father, even if it just legally, and he thinks if he gives her up for adoption they will limit his rights and when she grows up she will hate him for letting her go.
we are not trying to take her out of her current home, just keep my husband as the legal father, that's it.
By the way, he has never missed a child support payemnt and has already been granted a visitation schedule by an order by ajudge
2006-11-08 09:41:36 · update #1
I am fighting the same battle. I have a four year old boy. i am though on the opposite side. my husband is adopting my son. there may be some consequenses to endure for not seeing her for two years. though a benefeit if you have "proof" he has been involved in her life on a regular basis. they will not revoke his rights without him sighning them off. unless he has an criminal history or is abusive neglectful ...you see where im going there. though you say he does not. if that be true he has no worries on his ex's current husband taking away his child. she may see him as daddy. though in the same breath dont expect her to be gun hoe about your hubby. if she hasnt seen him in 2 years there is no bond on her side. she doesnt no him. she is a little girl at 4 they just start to connect he is missing a very crucial part of her life in the bonding area. i no in my expeirence my sons father visited him once every few months but not enough to leave a lasting impression. my son didnt like him because he didnt no him. he cried with every visit. broke my heart but i had to let him go. after 2 years of battling visitation and custody his dad finally decided there was no bond and chose to sighn off. it wasnt my call. if he had not of sighned off i couldnt revoke his rights. as well they offered several propsals for visitaion. such as 6 months here 6 there, school yr with me summer and holidays with dad, every 6 week roation, and i live in ga and him in fl either i bring him there and dad brings him home or we meet half way. the courts will frown uopn him not seeing her for 2 years expect some repromand for that. though they will not take his rights. keep in mind it may take a while to work out a compromising schedule between the mom and stepfather. it is not going to be easy you will have many sleepless nights and fighting and crying. just be patient it will all eventually come to an end. as well there may be some animosity between your husband and her mother for him not being there. she has raised this child with her current husband for the past 2 years at least. try to be considerate of everyones feelings involved. it will help alot. i promise it isn't going to be easy.
2006-11-08 10:58:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I just went threw this. First off, if he signed the Birth Cert, the only way the mother could get an adoption done would be to 1) sign over his rights. (HE has to do it and it would have to go to court) 2) if the father has no contact with the child for a long time. Not paying Child Support not talking to the child ect. ect.... The mother can have a petition issued threw the courts and they would have to post an add in the local paper for 1 month. During that month, anyone can fight to not have ot go threw.
If he is paying Child Support, keeping contact with the child, and is sending stuff, he needs to keep receipts of the toys, money everything for verification.
he don't need to travel to see her. Just keeping in contact is what the law looks at. I would probably take it to court to save you and himself.
2006-11-08 11:22:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
in the beginning, i've got faith he needs an criminal professional. i do no longer understand regardless of if he can lose or regardless of if his presence on the listening to will teach that he cares and has a valid reason to contest the adoption, yet an criminal professional must be waiting to assist steer him in the direction of the main suitable way of doing issues. you will choose an criminal professional who's quite versed in relatives regulation for the two states in touch (relatives regulation seems to selection from state to state). Is there a greater low value thank you to do the transportation? i think of you're caught with the flight costs, yet is it a threat to replace a inn for a inn and a bus for a motor vehicle? now and back that works out and now and back it would not.
2016-10-15 13:16:30 · answer #3 · answered by asuncion 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He does not have to agree to it. He can make it so she has to pay part of the money for her to fly out to see you guys, but she has to be 5 years-old in order to do so on her own. Since he has no criminal history I can't see how the judge would take away his rights. Do they have a computer? If so, how about getting webcams so he can talk to her that way and she can see who she is talking to?
2006-11-08 09:48:51 · answer #4 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In this scenario, there is no way that he can legally be forced to give up his paternity rights. It wil work out okay. He will always be the girl's father.
2006-11-08 16:24:12 · answer #5 · answered by Emily O 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋