Why haven't I met her parents?

Question

She's white, I'm black. We've been dating for a year. We have a close relationship and spend time with each other's children. When I asked her if her parents knew about me (they stay more than an hour away), she became evasive and said, "They know that I am dating." I confronted her again about it and she told me that her Mom knows that she is dating but her Dad doesn't know she's dating and niether of them know I'm black. She then gave me this story of a business deal gone bad which is why her dad has a "thing" against Afro-Americans. I don't like the fact that we share every other aspect of our lives together, but she will not tell her parents about me. Why is she keeping me a "little black secret"?

Answer 1

Its called the love for parents we dont want to dissapointment because all kids ever want is the best for their kids and you probaly dont fit the "profile" for their daughter.Its not that she doesnt care about you dont ever think that.Daughters and dads have that special relationship and we dont ever want to dissapoint him.For an example if one of your children turned out to be gay and hid their partner from you they would probaly hide them from you if you had a dislike for gay relationships (only using that as an example). Talk to her and if you are feeling hurt tell her and work through it together dont stop the communication and dont blame her for fearing she is worried about letting her dad down..that one is natural.Maybe she is waiting for the right time or to the fact she is sure of the relationship.One thing she would probaly most fearing is no matter how much she cares and loves you her parents maybe so against afro americans they will stop speaking to her ....then that of course affects her kids.Dont call it a dead end work with her and a way around it so both you and her are feeling ok. good luck

Answer 2

Maybe she is embarrassed that her parents may be racist and are afraid that they may discriminate against you. There are times that family members act in ways that are not the same values that we ourselves keep. Just remember that it is not her parent's company that you enjoy it is yours. The fact that she uses and excuse to explain the behaviour makes it sound like she is not happy with her father's views. I would just ignore it and be glad that you don't have to be bothered with trying to create a relationship with that kind of person. If they are racist they would probably harass the poor girl and make her life a living hell. Sometimes you have to just accept that some people lack insight and intelligence to appreciate diversity in our county.

Answer 3

Wow, what a tough situation...its apparant that she hasnt introduced you, because she knows or at least has a strong feeling that they would not approve of you relationship. The bigger question is, if they do in fact disapprove will she be able to handle that and if not, "your" relationship has met its end. If its really that important to you tell her that you need to meet them and that whatever happens the two of you will work through it together.
Good luck with that.

Answer 4

Maybe she is afraid of confrontation?? If her father is racist, she may be afraid of him. Some people are not open to bi-racial relationships. If you really love her and expect to be a part of her life tell her she needs to allow you to meet her parents no matter how they may react. She may be scared that if her father rejects you, you will not stand by her. Reassure her that you love her and no matter what her dear dad has to say you will always be there for her. Good Luck to you.

Answer 5

I am white married to a black man .My parents did not teach me to be prejudice but they do not agree with interracial couples. I told them I was marrying a man I loved and just so you want faint at the church he is black. I say people should get over color it's just a part of your body, besides Jesus is brown skinned!!!!! Your girl needs to not be scared of her parents and tell them. It's a grown up choice to date and a grown up decision to not be scared of your parents thoughts and reactions.

Answer 6

it's because her parent don't like black people. you don't need to be in that mess because there will always be problems. my brother was going with a white girl and the was hiding it from her parents and one day they found out about him and they didn't like it but my brother and her got married and after they got married there was no more excitement so she and him broke up. maybe that's what she is after the excitement of the hiding it from her parents after they find out about you, you will see it will end because the excitement is gone good luck

Answer 7

no, you does no longer i considered this in the previous, and perchance you will possibly exist as a soul yet no longer interior the comparable actual visual charm. it somewhat is a gene factor and no one has the comparable genes as anther, meaning each actual visual charm of each guy or woman in this earth is unique ( i'm conversing right here appropriate to the initially created visual charm no longer after plastic surgical procedures )

Answer 8

Probably because she loves you and doesn't want you to have to deal with their prejudice. She doesn't want to be put in the spot of having to choose. My in laws HATE me and have nothing to do with their own grandchildren because I am American. I am Chinese, just like they are, but since I was American born and raised I am "inferior" to them.

Answer 9

because you let her. call up mom and pos and introduce yourself and tell them that you love and respect their daughter then meet them for coffe. if they don't accept you then you know that their fools.

Answer 10

This is a surprise? You can be disappointed and angry, or you can show them why they are wrong in their prejudiced beliefs.