i dont know what to do
2006-11-08 09:12:14 · 15 answers · asked by drug_free_girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You're having doubts then you know that it would be a huge mistake to get married to this person. Tell him that you are not ready and try to find out what the problem is and if it can't be resolved then break up and move along separately.
2006-11-08 09:16:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're having doubts, then there's a good chance that it's NOT the right person. Push the wedding back if you can--unless it's towards the end of next year; then you may not need to. Just take some time to think about the situation.
Get away from everything for a couple of days--if you live with your fiance(e), go and stay with your parents or a close friend or a sibling for a weekend. If not, then tell your fiance(e) you need a few days apart to think about some things--if you don't want to say that, say you're going to be really busy at work for a few days and won't have time for him/her.
Just some time to be without a bunch of wedding junk crowding your mind can give you a lot of perspective. Just try not to think about the wedding OR your fiance(e), as hard as that will be. But if you can take your mind off of things for awhile and then go back to the problem, a lot of times you'll realize that you already knew the answer to the problem all the time. You just had to stop thinking about it so hard for the answer to make itself clear.
And if you're still having doubts after those few days--and if you're still having doubts after you postpone your wedding if you need to, then you need to call it off. It will hurt both of you and your families to call it off, but it will hurt a lot less than a divorce.
Good luck.
2006-11-08 12:08:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what does marriage mean to you?
to me, it means the Opposite of "ball and chain".... once i marry "the one", it means that i am now FREE to give and receive love.... no matter what, i will have no fear of rejection! remember when u go on dates w/ guys, have boyfriends, and sometimes u feel scared he might dump you, or u might lose him to someone else, or maybe even u could find someone who could treat u better?? the one u marry should alleviate ALL these, making u feel Safe, Secure, Happy, and Satisfied. if u don't feel that way, DON'T get Married!!! it doesnt' mean he's a bad guy, he may be wonderful! but if u don't feel completely safe and secure that he is the one you want to spend ur life with, don't let it go too far, or u will hurt him, yourself, ur family and friends who went the wedding, etc, or got close to him =T.
remember, the dating process (and engagement i suppose) is to SHOW YOU what kind of man he is, what kind of woman u are, and what kind of relationship u can make together. u should be Joyful and Grateful and Excited to marry this person, not scared cuz he doesn't make you feel happy! u have to figure out if it's just Cold Feet about marriage in general, or if there is a problem in ur relationship now. nip it in the bud before it gets any closer to the wedding date. he may be upset, but it's much better than living a lie. good luck, and try to communicate with him... the best way to see how strong a relationship is, is how u get through things TOGETHER. and if he gets upset or doesn't help things, than it will prove to you that he cannot get thru obstacles with you. be observant and OPEN MINDED, so u can see the truth behind the glitz and glamor of an engagement.
2006-11-08 09:23:54 · answer #3 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have to ask yourself if this is the right person, then I hate to tell you, this is not the right person.
If it is a question of whether you should get married right now, that is a totally different matter. HOWEVER, even if you're not ready for marriage, you have to imagine, if someone had a gun to your head, and said you're being forced to be married, would this person be the one? Then the answer will be clear, even if you've soiled yourself from having a gun to your head.(lol)
2006-11-08 09:22:53 · answer #4 · answered by Dwight C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put the engagement on pause while you figgure things out. How soon in 07? Everyone has a few passing doubts every now and then, but if you seriously don't know if you should spend the rest of your life with your fiance it's time you two had a serious talk. good luck
2006-11-08 09:21:07 · answer #5 · answered by Katie Beth 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, if your having doubts, stop the engagement. Your having doubts for a reason and you need to figure it out. Either you can end it and move on or get married. But don't promise your fiance marriage when you don't want to...this is why many people end up divorced!
2006-11-08 09:16:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are getting married, you should date him a little longer before getting married to see if he is the right guy for you. If you have any more questions for me, e-mail me at amybird06@yahoo.com.
2006-11-08 09:22:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to figure out what is going on first, if this guy does not make your heart skip a beat, or you know this guy is just a rebound man then please take my advice and do not do it, i just got out of a 6 year marriage, which was really bad, I knew I did not love him
2006-11-08 09:36:48 · answer #8 · answered by rana10501 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish you would have explained why you are having second thoughts? In that case it'll be easier to give you advice.
Email me if you feel like giving out some detail.
2006-11-08 09:24:02 · answer #9 · answered by Shelley S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't know if it's the right person, it's the wrong person. Call off the wedding.
2006-11-08 09:15:59 · answer #10 · answered by Debra D 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋