and it didn't go quite as you planned? heres some background info...been friends (really good friends...goodtimes..lots of laughs etc) for years...dating for 6mos+ having a gr8 time...but I told him that I thought that I was falling in love with him and it didn't really go all that well...he basically said hmm thats nice...I then told him I didn't want it to be a big deal..thats just how I thought..b/c we're always honest with each other about stuff......he also lives hours away as he's at school....so I haven't heard from him in a bit..(which is normal)..but I'm just wondering...should I tell him that I take it back? that it's ok if he doesn't feel the same way? that I don't want to put pressure on him?? HELP!!
2006-11-08 08:53:59 · 21 answers · asked by deeperthensix 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Here is what you say:
Hey, I hope I didn't freak you out using the L word the other time you called. Just to let you know, I'm not putting any pressure on you. This is just how I'm feeling, and I'm being honest because thats what relationships are based on. You don't need to feel like you have to say it to m e, to make me feel better. I only want you to tell me you love me if you REALLY feel it.
Now, you. Hold back on saying the word right now, if he's freaking out. A casual "love ya" at the end of a phone call is all right, but be careful of how you use it and when. Part of not putting pressure on him, is not allowing that big gaping silence to occur. So if you really want to tell him you love him, make sure you have something to say AFTER so he doesn't feel put on the spot to respond. I don't think its wise to do, especially if he isn't one to be tied down.
2006-11-08 09:04:52 · answer #1 · answered by moderncutthroat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's good that you told him how you feel he deserves to know. Even though it did not go the way you planned it to go it doesn't mean he don't feel the same way. He might needed time to think. Give him a few more days to reply and go from there. If the love thing don't work at least you still have friendship.
2006-11-08 17:00:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are sensitive about Love. They don't often like to talk about it and they need to be absolutely sure that they are ready before the subject can be broached. You may have simply overwhelmed him by being so bold. You may want to revisit the subject by explaining to him what you are feeling and allowing him the time and space to decide whether that works for him or not. If he only wishes to be friends, don't lose a good friend simply because you have been a little rash.
2006-11-08 17:00:28 · answer #3 · answered by HGS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't take it back if you don't actually feel that way, then you're just going to be breaking apart inside since its not how you really feel. Tell him that you're sorry if he wasn't expecting that but, it was how you thought you felt at the time and its ok if he doesn't feel the same way. You don't want to lose his friendship or what he means to you and let him know that you don't want to pressure him into anything since that's not what you want.
2006-11-08 16:58:33 · answer #4 · answered by irishgypsy88 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kiddo, it's always a good idea to let the guy do the "L" thing first...read "The Rules"...unfortunately over a long life I have found out that with guys a little bit of reserve makes things go a long way in your favour.
2006-11-08 16:59:06 · answer #5 · answered by marpen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think just being honest is the best thing to do. You told him how you feel, and who knows you might be miscontrued in thinking he doesn't feel the same way. Perhaps he just doesn't know how to show it like you do...maybe he's taking his time for you. He doesn't have to love you back just yet...give him time, and space, and he wont be going anywhere.
2006-11-08 16:57:06 · answer #6 · answered by Lizzie D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to him and say its OK if he doesn't feel the same, its just you had to honest and tell him your feelings and then go back to being the way you were. good luck
2006-11-08 16:59:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's all natural,the way you feel.you were brave enough to say what you felt,why take it back.if ya meant it.if you are as close as you said you were,then he should respect what you have to say,no matter what it may be....love is a hard thing to deal with..try listening to a song by vanessa williams and brian mcknight..it's called "love breaks your heart"..it's one of those songs that will leave you with a tear in your eye... best wishes to ya :)
2006-11-08 17:03:58 · answer #8 · answered by curious1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say no more. Since he didn't respond the way you wanted him to, I would put a lid on it for now. Take my advice, it's the best thing to do. Nothing works unless it's felt by two........
2006-11-08 17:03:48 · answer #9 · answered by silhouette 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah I've brougth up the l word but it went like I planned He said h eloved me back
2006-11-08 16:58:14 · answer #10 · answered by crybaby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋