am i being unreasonable?

Question

im 30 weeks pregnant and me and my boyfriend still live with his parents.Im desperate for a place of r own but he says hes not ready and that we cant afford it. How can I convince him to move out. do you think im being selfish? ijust want us to have a home of our own,and privacy is that too much to ask...help

Answer 1

If he isn't ready or willing to commit to that yet then it is probably best not to force the issue. Confusion, uncertainty and mixed feelings of changes could be scaring your boyfriend so do not add more scary things for him at present. After child is born he may be a lot more open to moving with you, but there again only time will tell.

Answer 2

you want to move out but if you can't afford it what can you do?? all you can do is make him get a nother job but if he does this- he won't be ablet o help you watch the baby when he's born- having 2 jobs is hard. Do you work?? if you both work- save some meny after the baby is born and move out. You're not being selfish- you're being immature! you knew he ddind't have a place of his own and you expect him to now?? that's too much for him to handle. All you can do for now is stick it out or move out with other roomates but i can guarantee you will have to pay rent to other people about $5-$800 a months and his parents may not charge you anything or at least a little bit. This is something you're gonna have to live with- he's not ready to move out and you can't change that unless he gets a better job or 2 jobs.

Answer 3

Money is always a factor check your finances and if you can afford it then by all means your boyfriend should be a man and move out of his parents basement. But if there is a money issue then don't be selfish and think about your baby's needs there is nothing sadder than a hungry baby that has no food to eat. So take your time don't rush to play house with your man be sure you will be able to provide the child with the neccessities, Did you know it costs about 40,000.00 to raise a child if not even more.

Answer 4

I have been in the same situation. You are not being unreasonable, but he has a point. You are going to have a baby, so maybe save some money for a few months and then start looking. After all, when the baby is born you are going to need help in the beginning.
After awhile the mother in law will start telling you how to raise the baby, then he will see that you guys need a place of your own.
Good Luck

Answer 5

You're not being unreasonable. But you're timing is off. Why didn't you have you're own place to live before this? If he's not willing and ready to grow up-meaning get a place to live for you two, do you really think he's ready to be a father to a child? That's part of being an adult and being responsible.It sounds to me like you're going to be raising this child by yourself. Good luck.

Answer 6

I understand that you want a place of your own, now that you are going to have a baby. But if you and his parents get along good...this may be a good thing that you are living there. See, after the baby, you will need lots of help, and they can be very helpful to you...And I'm sure they are going to love having their grand baby there. My son and his girl lived with us before she got pregnant, and after the baby, we helped her out tons...and loved every minute of it...and we got to see our grand baby grow up. Think about it...after the baby is a little older, suggest to your boyfriend that maybe it's time for your own place.

Answer 7

Is he not ready because you really can't afford it? Or is he just not ready to leave mama?

Your not selfish but you have to be realistic where money is involved.
If it is mama, then you must explain to him that you want to bring this baby into a place of its own and you want a your own place so your relationship with him has room to grow.

Good luck!!!

Answer 8

At this point I would say that a house is out of the question, but you could always get an apartment. That would at least be a first step. I know that losing your independance is a pain in the rear, but you need to have patience. Finances are a ***** to get together.

Answer 9

tell him about the *private intimacy* you want to share with him and the privacy you want your child to have. your kid may start calling his parents mommy and daddy if they are around them too often. you are not being selfish, my mother went through the same thing. tell him flat out that you want to move out, even it means having to do it on your own, if he isn't ready to move away from his parents, then he isn't mature enough to raise a child

Answer 10

Let time help you guys. you do need a place of your own befor the baby comes tell him that the baby shouldnt have to grow up in his parents house she should have her own room and that you guys need privacy ask his parents for help finacially for a small aparentment.