My best friend and I both have step sons the same age (ten) and we both have sons that are three years old. We live acrossed the street from eachother. She allows her three year old out with the ten year old by themselves while I won't let my three year old out in our gated yard without me standing right there. I've expressed my concern and yet she still sends the pair outside with out supervision...please advise?! Am I being over protective?? I mean he's only three!
2006-11-08 07:25:55 · 41 answers · asked by Kathud 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
No call child services
2006-11-08 07:27:21 · answer #1 · answered by keith s 5 · 2⤊ 4⤋
She can get into a lot of trouble for that. My aunt use to let my cousin Ricky watch over my cousin Eddie and they were 4 and 11 at the time and she would let them in the backyard which was fenced but the neighbor expressed concern to her telling her a 11 year old was to young to be keeping an eye on a 4 year old, gated yard or not and my aunt ignored it and a few days later a social worker was at her door. After that my aunt never did that again.
10 is far to young to watch over a 3 year old, 10 year olds can not even watch over themselves let alone a younger child and what if a man walks up in the yard and snatches the 3 year old? What is the 10 year old going to do about it? A 10 year old sure can not prevent the guy from taking his little brother, heck the guy could snatch both children and yes that has happened before. Some people will not care if their is a another kid in the yard or if their are dozens of kids in the yard, kids can not defend themselves or fight off an adult.
I think you really need to express to her what can happen and perhaps sit her down and watch A&E, they show crime shows all the time that involve kids being snatched from their back yards even when they have a older sibling watching over them.
2006-11-08 08:47:33 · answer #2 · answered by Diamonds_Glow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is the 10 year old vigilant? Does he seem to really pay attention to what the 3 year old is doing? Does their mother constantly keep an eye on them in case there was an emergency? I personally have a 10 year old step-daughter and 3-year old stepson, not to mention a 5, 6, and 6 year olds. We don't live anywhere near a busy road and our yard isn't easily accesible...I am almost always out there with them but sometimes I am cooking dinner and they want to play...I watch them but my 10 year old is very good with keeping an eye on the younger ones. I don't make her primarily responsible but she helps a lot and she is very mature...there are many other factors that you have to consider...I wouldn't just recommend child services (there really are worse problems) UNLESS the mother is inside smoking crack and drinking while the children are left to their own devices...she's just not watching them or keeping an eye on them, is their yard gated? Do some investigation before you call anyone...maybe express a more serious concern to this mother.
2006-11-08 07:36:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
No because a 10 year old is still a child, you need like a more experienced baby-sitter like around the age of 16 and up. and a 10 year old can let things get out of hand ok for an example if you leave them there they could let the house burn down. or the three year old could be hurt or get lost in the house if the 10 year old isnt paying attention.
2006-11-08 10:27:14 · answer #4 · answered by mamas_grandmasboy06 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A 10 year old has other things on their mind than watching little brother or sister, and they don't understand dangers of a younger sibling. Even if the yard is gated, I wouldn't let a 10 year old be responsible for a 3 year old. Plenty of things can happen, especially if they get out the gate or if there's a pool or other things. Too risky for me. You do good to watch your children yourself. Your friend could be considered neglegent, especially if the children have access to the street or pool area.
2006-11-08 07:31:58 · answer #5 · answered by Shannon L - Gavin's Mommy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do not have children myself but there is no way if something happened to that 3 yr. old will that 10 year old know what to do. Im sure some kids are smarter than others but unless they are 15 years or older they should not be left alone together. Its just an accident waiting to happen. And not to cut down on boys but they arent like girls, they are less observant and if they were playing video games or something that 3 yo could get into anything or impail himself omg the list is endless. PLus at 3 I think they are jsut starting to talk and if the 3yo did something wrong they are able to tell its wrong and would hide from the brother and before ya know it an hour has passed and that 3yo could have choked on something or drank something.
I think yuou are totally right in this situation. She is the retard!
2006-11-08 07:36:26 · answer #6 · answered by Kit 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I'm with you on this. It's not a good idea for a 10 year old to be responsible for a 3 year old or any other child. A 10 year old is not going to know how to react to certain situation like an adult would. And no your not being over protective.
2006-11-08 07:36:01 · answer #7 · answered by magnolia_76 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd say it's safe to let them out into a gated yard with the ten year old watching - ten is plenty old enough to understand "don't let your little brother go out the gate". But that's just when Mom is right inside so that she can hear the ten year old yell if he needs help.
2006-11-08 07:29:45 · answer #8 · answered by triviatm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends on the neighborhood, the back yard(is there any way for a stranger to access it), the maturity of the 10 year old, the amount of time you are leaving them alone and how often you are checking on them. I would feel weird about it myself, but then again I am paranoid about stuff like that. I think its really up to you. If something happens to them and you are not there I dont think DFS or Child Protective Services would be too happy about you leaving them alone in the back yard. Bottom line, personally, it's not worth risking.
2006-11-08 07:32:13 · answer #9 · answered by missjuly15 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have an 11 yr old daughter and a 3 yr old son. I would NEVER allow my 11 yr old to watch my son. She is barely responsible for herself some days much less a 3 yr old. I will send them out in the yard to play together but our yard is HUGE HUGE HUGE and it's usually when I'm at the kitchen window doing dishes and can still watch and still hear. But no...I would never allow her to have sole responsibility of my 3 year old.
2006-11-08 07:52:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I watch my crazy neighbor let her kids do this all the time except they're in the front yard, street my back yard and everyone else's yard, that is a problem, but if they're in a fenced in yard the 10 year old is responsible and the parent checks up every little bit I don't see a problem with it.
2006-11-08 07:42:02 · answer #11 · answered by MOVING 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋