I've been with my man for 1 1/2 years and we are thinking about moving in together. Lately I've been more possessive and jealous. Is this normal? How do I stop? I don't really have any reason to be jealous, he treats me great and has never cheated on me. My last bf cheated on me twice and we had a really bad relationship. I don't want to mess things up now bc of my past history. Any suggestions for how I can stop myself from being so jealous and possessive? HELP!!!
2006-11-08 06:58:06 · 38 answers · asked by Bridal Shower 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
grow up, love is not jealous
2006-11-08 06:59:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋
I manage to stop jeaulousy quite easily. it means you are concentrating on the worst happening or thinking to yourself that has already happened or stepping back / away.
1. way is to try to put those negative thoughts to rest by letting yourself know that you are being ridiculous especially when the signs are that you might be taking situations too far.
2. The other is to know that some people find jeaulousy really off putting and by getting so jeaulous you could actually be chasing him away and making yourself look a fool in the process.
3. Jeaulousy can only be good if it is warning you that you may be right about some suspicions but how you act on those suspicions can also determine whether you are a 'bunny boiler' or able to exercise self-control.
Ultimately I don't blame you for being overly jeaulous - as your last boyfriend gave you plenty of reason. But I suspect that your jeaulousy mechanism (for want of a better word) is now over-sensitive because of what you have been through...you just need to convince yourself that your ex is different from your current boyfriend - try not to make your current boyfriend pay for your ex's mistakes.
2006-11-08 07:06:35 · answer #2 · answered by evols1dog 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you want to loose him? If you don't want this to happen, you need to make immediate changes and these are to take out of your mind past relationships and set your mind that if you keep being possessive and jealous, you are punishing him for what they did to you in your past relationships. Remember that a good relationship is based on trust, freedom and love. Jealousy and possessiveness are bad ingredients that are set up in your mind. Go to a professional that could help you sort out your anger and improve towards a healthy relationship. Good luck.
2006-11-08 07:12:37 · answer #3 · answered by Big&Tall 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same situation but it is reverse, he is very jelouse like that and I find that makes me not want to even be around him because I know that I am not doing anything wrong and he just keeps pushing and pushing. The more understanding you are the better, if every time he turns around you are asking him who he is looking at, or has he been talking to....unless he very patient that gets old REAL fast.....coming from someone on the other side of the story know that you have to let up a little otherwise you will probably push him away
2006-11-08 07:47:12 · answer #4 · answered by TNL 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have the same problem with my fiance and we do live together.
Umm..... i try to stay calm because anxiety gets to me pretty good. Other than that i just try to do things together and try to have as much trust unless he gives me a reason otherwise. He wouldn't be in a relationship or wanting to move out with you if he didn't care and love you.
A lot of my jealousy comes from being insecure with myself. I am actually really pretty not to be concieded but i am never happy with myself. So i try to make myself feel better by getting my hair, nails, done and working out.
2006-11-08 07:04:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already know the answer to your own question because you said it yourself. You said "I don't want to mess things up now bc of my PAST history." It's HISTORY! This guy loves you -he's NOT the ex!! But since you say you see this, I would go to talk to a therapist to get it resolved for good. It will come up to interfere with your new love unless you get help to resolve the issues behind it. I wish you well!LOL
2006-11-08 07:05:22 · answer #6 · answered by Bijous 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way to stop being jealous is to build up your self-esteem and confidence. You must still be hurt by your last bf. Love you first! The rest will follow.
2006-11-08 07:10:57 · answer #7 · answered by Ward N 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK. First you must be proud to have some wonderful person which choose you as a partner. You should know love is about to be loved. Feel lucky and happy. Stop worry of loosing if you're the only one chosen to be with him. Enjoy every moment of your relationship and try to preserve what is the best in it.
2006-11-08 07:06:33 · answer #8 · answered by Toto 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, he hasn't cheated on you and you have a great relationship - why would you need to be jealous. Just realize that you have a good man. Most women aren't so lucky. Count your blessings.
2006-11-08 07:01:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like emotional baggage from your past relationship. Good relationships are built on honesty and trust. If you have no reason to be jealous and possessive then relax and enjoy it. You can harm your current relationship by transferring your own insecurity into it. good luck. if it gets real bad see a counselor.
2006-11-08 07:03:58 · answer #10 · answered by SKYDOGSLIM 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It could be because you are nervous about making the step of moving in with him. Sometimes people act defensively and try to start fights and such before a big decision, just to make sure the decision is the correct one. The logic is if you find out something bad about your bf after you move in, you are screwed, if you find out before you saved yourself from making a big mistake. Just try to tell yourself its just you being silly.
2006-11-08 07:05:08 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋