What and when would you tell your kids?

Question

We might be moving soon- very soon. We can no longer afford long island. I'm not sure if I am happy about it or not. My kids will not be very thrilled about the idea (I have a 2, 4, and 6 year old). When would you tell your kids about the move and what would you tell them?

Answer 1

As soon as you know you are moving FOR SURE tell them. that way it will give them a chance to get used to the idea. They are really young, so it shouldn't be too much of a problem.

Answer 2

Kids are so resilient. Especially at those ages. We worry more than we have to (mine are 13, 10, 8, 3, 1 and expecting) We have moved about 4 times and of course I met some resistance but they make friends soooo easy at that age and the little ones aren't in school yet so that's the PERFECT time to move :)

Tell the kids when you know for sure and when you have found a place. Most importantly, be positive. Even though you may not be too happy about it, you have to be for the kids. "Hey kids, guess what? we are moving to a fabulous new place that has a park nearby, schools we can walk to and will let Mommy and Daddy be home with you more! It will be so great and I am so excited."

Answer 3

I would say it would be better to do it at the ages your kids are at right now, than when they get older. My family and I just went through this; we have a 10, 12 and 15 year old and we moved from the midwest to Portland, Oregon. We told them right before we put the house up for sale - they knew we were going to move, because we'd been talking about it for a while, they just didn't know the "when." I think the more you talk about it the better because it lets them know that THEY can tell you how they're feeling about it, too (although it'd be hard for your younger two to be able to identify some of their apprehension....). Sometimes we have to do hard things, make hard choices, sometimes we can't have what we want because we can't afford it, and I believe that's an important lesson for all of us to learn. We also moved to different states when our kids were your kids' ages and it was a heck of a lot EASIER to do it then. Once they get into school for several years and establish their group of friends, it's more difficult.

Answer 4

My parents moved when I was 7, and from that I can tell you what not to do. Though I know you're not happy about it, try to be as positive as you can for the kids. If you don't have a choice about moving, there's no point in rubbing off your doubts on them. In my case, my dad didn't want to move, and I could tell. It made me terrified about the whole concept.

Next, if you can (and I know it may not be possible), try to ease them into it. Take them to see where they are going to be moving a couple of times. Encourage them to get excited about having a new room, a new this or that. Emphasize the positive. Plus, if possible, try not to have them there for the actual move. I remember driving away from my old house for the last time and screaming and crying bloody murder as we did it. If instead, they are going to spend the weekend with grandma or someone else they like, then it's something they like. Plus, it'll get them out of the way for the move. Also, have some plan for keeping occupied after everyone else (movers, family) is gone the first night. Whether it's going to get takeout or planning to unpack family photos and going through them togehter as a family, have a plan. After our movers left, my mom shoved me a bowl of raisin bran, and she started unpacking. I felt so alone in that big, scary new place.

Finally, after you get there, don't completely sack old traditions. If you always have a christmas tree, still put one up this year. It may require some extra effort considering you'll already be tied up unpacking, but keeping traditions will reinforce for the kids that nothing has changed but geography. You're still a family.

Good luck!

Answer 5

I'd tell them a couple of months before hand so that they have plenty of time to prepare for this emotionally. During that 2 months do a little research on some fun stuff around the area that you're moving to. Pump up that new place to your kids so that they won't go into it dreading the day! They are still young enough to where a move like this will not be so traumatizing.

Answer 6

I am not sure when I would tell them but honestly sooner is probably better. Kids know what is going on more then us adults realize. You should tell them the truth that you are going to be moving to a new home and it will be different for everybody but that change can be good. You should not tell them it is bc of financial reasons- they are too young to help with money and if they think there isn't enough money they will worry. You probably shouldn't let on that you are not happy about the move. Your children will follow your lead and you want them to be happy in their new home (it will make things easier for everyone). Good Luck and be honest with the necessities- offer lots of reassurance and try to stay positive.

Answer 7

I agree with everyone else, tell them as soon as you know for sure that you will be moving. This show the kids that you are very honest and up front with them and they dont have to worry about you hiding things from them. The kids will most likely be the same way to you. Its a good lesson to teach to your kids, and by telling them about the move is a good start.

Answer 8

Make it out to be a big adventure and tell them the moving day, so they can tell their friends (the 4 and 6 year olds)

Answer 9

Tell them now - they are young enough and they'll get over it soon. I moved many times throughout my childhood and I never liked the idea - until I moved and met new friends. You can point out positive things about the move - like now they'll get to do something they couldn't before or see more family or something cool about your new house.

Answer 10

Tell them now and tell them the truth. It is nothing more annoying than to grow up and realize that your parents lied to you about something. Even the things you try to protect them from (like hurting their feelings because of this move) are still going to happen to them. It is always best to be honest.