My 20 month old daughter throws horrible tantrums if she doesn't get her way. She got mad today and threw all the toys in her room, ran around the house screaming. i tried to give her something to drink and something to eat and nothing worked. How do you handle this tantrums. I would NEVER hurt my child, but she can almost get me to the point I have to walk away. Does anyone else have this problem with their toddler?? How do you handle it??
2006-11-08 06:18:45 · 15 answers · asked by ♥mommy of 4♥ 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Tantrums are nothing but them expressing their anger, rage, and trying to get their way.
How to handle it? Sounds crazy, but do nothing.
What?!?! you say? Yes, you do nothing. See, you give power to the tantrums when you do things like give them something to "fix it". You are giving them a reward for the behavior you don't like. This gives them the idea that they will get something for acting like that.
Let them have the tantrum. When they are done, they will then have to sit down and talk to you, and then clean up whatever they did during the tantrum. They should also have a nice sit down in their room, or in a time out chair. You need to let them know that it is unacceptable behavior, and that you will not give into the behavior. When they realize that it doesn't work, and you don't care about it, it will cut down considerably, if not end.
Will it be easy? Not on your life. But you have to stand your ground. Giving them something in lew of them throwing a fit is rewarding them for it. Let them throw the fit. Other than being rather annoying and upsetting, what is it hurting? If it really bothers you, leave the room. You are telling your child that not only does it not bother you, but you don't even care to see or listen to them do it.
2006-11-08 06:26:30 · answer #1 · answered by volleyballchick (cowards block) 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Every child tries to control there world and get there way every time. A 20 month old is certainly old enough to be told to quit and if child does not then a proper swat on the butt will help, maybe 2 or 3 swats on a diapered but t and a commanding NO. Do not give in to the tantrum. A splash of ice water can also and has worked.
2006-11-08 06:30:40 · answer #2 · answered by picture 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make sure he is safe and let him go at it. It won't take him long to realize that you mean what you say and the tantrum doesn't work. Either that or he will grow out of it a few years, once your sanity is stretched to the limit. When I was a kid, I too banged my head on the wall. My mom took me down the basement and pointed at the concrete wall and told me "That's the head banging wall". Yeah, I was dumb enough to do it once....but quickly figured that that wasn't working. I switched over to holding my breath until I almost passed out, Our neighbour who was a doctor was over at the time. She calmly got up, walked over to the sink, poured a little water into a glass and tossed it in my face. My reaction was to gasp and...that was the end of that. The little guy can't express himself yet and that's just his way of making a point. Sooner or later the endorphins he produces during these fits of rage act as a calming agent and the episode subsides.....hopefully before you have a meltdown. He's just a regular little kid, trying to get his way. You just have to be a parent determined to get yours. I don't envy you...I went through it with my son 30 years ago and I can still remember how frustrating it was.....but the memory still makes me smile. I guess that's because I won that one. God bless.
2016-05-21 22:18:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hon u got it rough i commend you so much. i love that u wouldn't hurt ur child but there r times where u have to put that kind of discipline into play you have to show her who is boss if you don't she will run all over you. give some sort of demand u want met and if its not done then use a resort system....meaning use time out A first resort and then depending on how bad she gets make her punishment more and more savvier. don't back down dont let her through tantrums literally pick her up and putb her in time out and phisically keep her there until she get the picture.
2006-11-08 07:03:13 · answer #4 · answered by southernprincess0607 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most children try this thing sooner or later. Not tolerating it is the key, that means not trying to appease them nor humor them. At once take all the toys away out of the room. If she still in a crib. Put her there & let her go at it till she stops. Then leave her think things over. Don't give in to her tears. Every time she tries this stunt repeat your actions & mean it. Sooner or later she will see this doesn't work anymore. Even if your out somewhere. While it may be a pain in the butt. Leave at once, bring her home & repeat the process. She knows she is pushing your buttons. The time you take now to take those buttons out of her reach will help you & especially it will help her. Discipline, does not mean you don't love your child in fact it is love.
2006-11-08 07:00:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a 19 month old and she is starting with the tantrums too. I just ingnore it. I tell her why she can not do what she wants to do and if she gets mad ..then oh well....I know it is hard and frustrating but she will get over this stage...and then start the whinny one..lol Something to look forward too.
2006-11-08 07:31:33 · answer #6 · answered by Jesabel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to ignore it. Walking away is exactly what you should do. I've been doing that with my son since he was 18 months old. He's now almost 2 1/2, and his crying over not getting what he wants rarely escalates and never lasts more then a minute or two.
2006-11-08 06:27:32 · answer #7 · answered by KL 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tantrums are a result of not being able. Not being able to say what you really want to say, not being able to do what you really want to do, and not being able to control the environment in the manner you expect to. Your first job is to teach your daughter to express these emotions in a better way. Anger is not a bad emotion but sometimes the way it is expressed is bad. Tell her you know she is angry and then help her to express it in a manner that is acceptable to you. Let her hit a pillow, jump up in the air 20 times, run circles in the living room, or whatever. Encourage her to express her feelings verbally as well and maybe why she is mad. "I'm mad at my doll broke" is great. Good luck. They do get better!
Mama of 4
2006-11-08 06:33:30 · answer #8 · answered by punxy_girl 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
dear God you have 4 of them? my sympathies. well have you thought of putting her in a padded room and having yourself a stiff drink? hmmmm probably illegal or something. right. well okay then. have you tried the nanny 911 book? that looks like it might offer some helpful advice. i'm not a mother but do work with children. God bless their little hearts and yours for having them. Very demanding job. Best thing to do is ignore the behavior and always give positive reinforcement for good behavior. Obviously you have to protect her from hurting herself and perhaps if they are that prolonged, you may want to speak with her pediatrician. She is just asserting her control and will grow out of it eventually ..... always best to remain calm and not get excited....as this will only escalate things (similar to how men can get) sorry don't mean to make light....just my way of dealing....good luck to you.
2006-11-08 06:31:33 · answer #9 · answered by bella36 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lol I understand where you are coming from my 15 month old has tantrums too, there really should be such a thing as mommy abuse, don't ya think. I wish us both luck surviving the terrible 2's
2006-11-08 06:22:59 · answer #10 · answered by jo_jo_baby2004 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋