My step daughter is stealing from me! Help!?

Question

My 14 year old step daughter continues to steal from me, and I am starting to lose my mind! All of us (her father, myself, and her) are going to therapy & family therapy, she is seen regularly by a doctor (for meds), and has a support team at school. We have tried rewarding her when she is doing well, and we follow through with the consequences when she acts out. She steals everything from make-up, to lingerie (I am an XL and she is a S!) to shoes. She lies all the time. She won't do her homework. She calls her father horrible names and has stolen money from him. We have started locking our bedroom door, but then she just roots through other things of mine in the house. She has been through EVERY box and item I own. She has stripped me of all my privacy. She is getting to the point where she won't even apologize anymore. Her father and I are working well together, but it is putting a lot of stress on us, and we don't know what to do anymore. Can anyone give me any help?

She left her mom's house two years ago to come live with her dad and I. She had some of the same problems with her mother, but as she has gotten older, it has gotten worse. Her mother yells and slaps her back during arguments and treats her like a "bad kid". It is not healthy for her to be with her mother. We continuously have talks about how much we love her and about how we want to help her. She is soooo unhappy! On the flip side, she will tell us how much she loves us too. I think that is part of the problem. She loves us, but she continues to hurt us, and she doesn't know how to control her impluses. The therapists in our community (we live in a small town) treat her like a child and are not holding her accountable. I think they are running out of ideas of how to handle this too.

Answer 1

Give me your address and I'll go kick her klepto a** for you. I hate thievs!

Answer 2

If her mom isn't in the picture, find out from the counselor if there is a teen "time-out" place she can go to for awhile. In my town we have a home where the kids can go from 1 day to 30 days and they get all kinds of help to deal w/ what is making them so angry and other issues. What meds is she on, that may be one of her problems. If she is seeing a myriad of dr's and getting meds from each, they may be interacting. ask the counselor to look at ALL of her meds. The LAST thing I would do is involve the police, that will just add resentment and create more problems in the long run. A time-out seems so appropriate right now.

Answer 3

this would sound stupid yet have you ever tried conversing to the little woman. it somewhat is obvious that she is crying out for interest. a baby does no longer differentiate between stable and undesirable interest. while i replaced into her age I did the comparable factor. particularly some issues have been occurring in my residing house on the time and that i did no longer sense as close to to my Father as we as quickly as have been,. So i might thieve stupid stuff no longer something huge yet great sufficient so it replaced into observed then of direction my Father might get mad at me and yell and fuss yet I felt on the time hello a minimum of he's paying interest to me now., If the mummy is being vindictive in the direction of the older daughter i does no longer point out those stealing sprees along with her, there's a difficulty ideal there. you're saying which you're only the Step-mom being a step mom is a lot harder than being a mom. you don't get to initiate from scratch and you're each and all of the surprising interior the thick of it. while your doorstep toddlers are on your place you could desire to set the guidelines. You and your husband would desire to tutor a united front on those rules. If the mummy won't help you I recommend that the daddy revisit the custody subject in courtroom. stable success to you and your loved ones,

Answer 4

I have heard of one other child like this, they didn't care what they were doing, and were not afraid of the consequences, so when a child is like this where do you go? I am sorry I can not give you the answer, but I do believe that she needs the big guns in the mental health field,this is way beyond councillors, and G.P. s. Get a referral, as I can assure you it will only get worse, I am surprised she has not stolen from the people in the community

Answer 5

First of all, I'm sorry. I know how much privacy is worth! How old is she? (the step-daughter) I would find out if something is "wrong upstairs". She may just want attention. Could she be having problems with you and your husbands marriage? Does she miss her real mom? Does she feel uncomfortable around you, say nasty things, etc? Because she is calling your husband bad names, did her birth mother die?, she might be resentful for him surviving and not her(her bio-mom) She might be resentful towards you becuase she misses her mom. She may be lashing out at you because it will hurt her Dad! BUT WHATEVER HAPPENS DO NOT LET HER COME BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND. She might be making every attempt to break you guys up. Be mindful of your "her" conquences because that may push her away more. I really hope this helps you. best wishes and good luck! Elizabeth

Answer 6

Send her to jail for a couple of days, and tell her that this is where she will end up if she keeps stealing. Use a scare tactic. whoop her butt. Send her to her mother. Ship her to boarding school. It might be a problem, or it might be to just get on you and your husbands nerves and drive you crazy. Kids at her age think they are invincible and think nothing can happen to them. Some how set her up. Get the police involved, not for real, but to scare her. I don't really know what to tell you. But i wish you all the luck in the world with her.

Answer 7

It sounds as if you have tried almost everything and nothing is working. If she is out-of-control and you have exhausted all resources, you need to send her to a special school for children with behavioral problems. I warn you, they cost a lot of money. My nephew is in a Boys School in Kansas right now. His mother was looking at one by Niagara Falls, NY and she still might transfer him. The school he is being sent to now costs around $44,000 a year. If you have the money, that's what you need to do. Look for a good school with an excellent record. I know its hard to send your child away to people you don't know, but she sounds like she needs it. If you want to save her life, its worth the cost. They have experience reaching kids like her.

Answer 8

First of all -- IF the step-child is stealing from you (and you know it) -- CALL THE POLICE (both you and your husband) and PRESS CHARGES -- in fact, DEMAND IT! Sometimes, the only way to get through to these teenagers like this (who are well aware of the lame way Law Enforcement and Judicial processes deal with Juvenile Offenders) -- is to HAVE THEM SPEND TIME in JAIL like they SHOULD -- to have the JAIL photo -- the JAIL Search, to have Charges Pressed against them -- and DO IT NOW!

YOU should NOT be afraid to put anything down in YOUR OWN HOME -- even money.

Answer 9

Sounds like to me that the daughther is just being a pain. It is your house, along with hubby and to disrespect you, is to disrespect him.

Maybe time for that tough love thing, use the puter and get a webcam. Set her up then knock them down. If you catch her on tape etc. cal the cops and have here charged.

Answer 10

a good spanking will straighten out any child, if that doesnt work, then spank her twice as hard.

regardless of how many pro / cons against spanking and child abuse, every parent has the right to bring up their children as they see fit, so with that said, go have her cut down a switch from the closest tree.

Answer 11

take her privacy away like she took yours take the door off the henge's know more phone,TV,games,going out if that is aloud if that don't do it then just start making it harder for her to steal and try to catch her in the act and call the police on her make her understand the consciences for staling