How can I stop my parents?

Question

Iam 14 years old and my parents are always figting. I try to stop them but my mom thinks that she is right and my dad thinks he is right. They always fight on something or other. My mom try's to control herself and always tries to keep peace in house just for me and my brother but i don't think my father is even trying. It is also effecting my studies please help with positive idea's. I really need someone to talk to so if you can give me your Msn. I will be really thankfull to you.

Answer 1

Tell them both at the same time to quit trying to be right, and try to work together.

Answer 2

Hello.

I would suggest that you set up a time to talk to both of your parents together. Advise them that the family situation for you is unbearable due to their constant bickering and that you would like to see a counselor for some assistance in coping with this issue.

Have 2 copies of a written list of the ways you are being affected by what is going on, this way, if it gets too emotional, or you see that you are not going to be able to make a difference with this first attempt, you can leave each of them a list to review.

Most health insurers provide coverage for mental health issues, some even have an employee assistance program where covered dependents can get some of the first sessions free.

You probably won't have a very big influence on the actual relationship between the two of them, sounds like the situation has become a very ingrained habit. But at least you will be giving them the opportunity to make some attempt to help YOU.

Answer 3

You could write an essay about how you feel, site actual incidents that happened in your home, dont be critical but pan the blame out and apologize ahead of time if its something that you and your brother are doing, tell them how those incidents made you feel. If you have a tape recorder, smuggle it in to the dinner table and record them so that they can hear themselves! Give them suggestions, but only offer counsling as a last resort.

Tell them that instead of raising their voices they should try and sit down and talk about it. Maybe the familie needs to spend more time together to reestablish bonds? Plan a family game night and a movie night. atleast three nights each month.

You and your brother could pitch in around the house to make the stress easier on everyone. Try having tea with dinner instead of soda/alcohol (do either of them drink? Are they violent? If so, you should get outside help)

Try to pitch in to keep the bills down (turn off the lights, monitor the dryer, turn off the ac.) maybe finances are stressing them. Try and help with dinner, maybe the cook feels flustered? Offer to wash the car twice a month. Mow the lawn. just so that they have more time to focus on one another, give them an activity to do, like a jigsaw or something.

Once they are conciously working on thier problem, help them look into getting a joined hobby. Like putting together a massive jigsaw, or drawing a joined picture.

When I was 4-6 my parents went through a phase of always arguing and yelling at one another. I know how you feel. They seperated for abut ten months, not divorced just seperated. We used to visit my mom and live with my dad, it was really hard. Because I remember it very well, even now.

Try to intervene, make them a dinner, fill the dining room with their old pictures so that they can remember how/why they fell in love. Play soft music, be creative.

Ask the family to go on a mini vacation on the weekend. Spend one day at the park/library. stay in a motel, spend day two at a movie and a community event like the musuem or something. Make a list of things to talk about the whole time so that there is no room for arguments, find jokes online and print them out. If an argument does break out then stop them, wait five minutes and then read the jokes, it'll break that akward silence and hopefully cheer everyone up a litte. (get jokes that are appropriate for all listeners and you think both parents will like)

You can e-mail me at yahoo. My address is [e-mail].

I'm making an MSN this weekend so that I can play Maple story, so when I make it, I'll let you know.

Answer 4

Hi, that really sucks !! I dont have a msn, I will tell you though if you dont like the arguing go to a friends house! Also when you have time you should really talk to each of them in private and let them know your feelings. YES they might get mad at first but in the long run they will remember what you said and i bet you they will try harder not to fight !!!

Answer 5

Hello there. I know it's very painful when parents fight. I used to watch my grandparents argue with each other and then with my mother and then my mother with my father. It is depressing and sad. Maybe that is what you need to tell them. Let them know how hard it is for you. I would suggest a little family therapy or for you to go to support groups with kids your age. That is not the only answer but it can help. You need to be able to talk to then both with a clear and calm voice so they hear you with thier hearts first. It is ok to let them know your pain from thier anger.
If they are physically abusing each other you need to tell someone. Tell them how much you love them first and always.
that is the best way to start. Be well and strong.

Answer 6

You need to tell them separately how you feel and how it is affecting you. It is not fair to you or your brother to be put in the position. If you need to then print out all the results of the answers you get here and show them to your parents.
You are not alone, there are many kids that go through this same thing everyday. If this doesn't work consider talking to your counselor at school or if you go to church then talk to youth leader, It is good to talk to someone one on one when you are having problems.

Answer 7

You cannot fix your parents problems. But I encourage you to talk to each parent individually, stressing to them that if they are this unhappy then to call it quits! This is a prime example of why it isn't always a good idea to stay together for the kids. They are teaching you to be like them in your own relationships now and in the future. Talk to me any time... I have kids your age.

Answer 8

cheer up girl. i know how you feel, i have been there. I have been through two divorces (my parents) in my life and it isn't easy. if you need someone to talk to let me know. my e-mail is [e-mail]. i am always up to help!

but there is really nothing you can do to stop your parents fighting. other confronting them both together and just sit down and have a talk and let them know what is bothering you and that it is affecting your schooling too. if that doesn't help then let me know and i will think of something.
Good luck and i am sorry to hear about all of that.

Answer 9

if you know that your dad is the problem, sit down with just him (talking to both of them at once can be trouble), at a good time when he is happy and calm. Tell him gently that this is hurting you and ask him to be a little more tolerant or arbitrary with your mom. Try to be sympathetic to his posistion (whether you agree or not) while at the same time not being negative about your mom. Thats my two cents.

Answer 10

Sadly this isn't your fight. Its between your parents and they need to either go to counseling or get a divorce. There is never a good enough reason to stay in a unhappy marriage.