please help me !!!?

Question

i met my first girlfriend a year ago.we started going out and before we got intimate, she told me that she was with a guy when she was in school and they had sex 5-6 times when she was 17. afterwards he dumped her. that time i let it go coz i was in love with her, but later on we have had some breakups because of it. she doesn't mind being in places where her ex is also there, but if i'm not with her i get uncomfortable just thinking about it. she also has a few other guy-friends, whom she claims are just friends, but i get really jealous/uneasy when she's hanging out with them one-on-one. why can't i trust her? and how do i learn to?we have been going out like this for over a year now, but now i don't know what i should do now. please help me!!! i don't even know whether i want this to work out!

Answer 1

Trust or lose. it's that simple. If jealousy is going to run your relationship...get another one. It's not good for you and if she isn't fooling around...it's not fair to her.

Answer 2

The answer I believe lies in your last statement of "I don't even know whether I want this to work out". I think subconciously you are worried about her being with someone else because your heart is not in it therefore you do not feel hers is....until she gives you a reason not to trust her you need to chill out. There is nothing wrong with hanging out with the opposite sex as long as it casual and there is no messing around. After all she has been with you for a year so obviously it is you who she wants to be with so take a deep breath and try to relax. Also sounds like you need to do some soul searching here yourself....if you are not sure this is what you want why tie her down?

Answer 3

You are way too insecure to be in a relationship. Just because she slept with one guy doesn't mean she's doing them all ok? You need to relax and you also need to end this relatioship. Girls just don't really like jealous overbearing guys, especially when they aren't doing anything wrong. The key thing here is that you said you don't even know if you want this to work or not....time for a break up!

Answer 4

You've got issues. Clearly, she can't be honest with you because you will just blow it out of proportion. This is past trust, you seem insecure. Get over it. You seem to be young, there are plenty of fish in the sea. If she cheats, throw her back. Maybe next time you'll catch a keeper.

Answer 5

You need to figure out how you fell about this girl. She is not doing anything wrong. She has an ex-boyfriend that she is still friends with, you have to trust her or she'll leave you before you get the chance to leave her.

Answer 6

Why is she hangin out with guys one on one anyway? There isn't a good reason/ excuse. If you don't want it to work, than move along. It will hurt, but afterwards you feel so much better. Trust me. I know millions of replacements... hint hint ; p

Answer 7

She deserves to be in a relationship with someone who trusts her.
What she did before she was with you should not effect your relationthip.
If you were not a virgin when you met her, why does it matter whether she was?
She should be allowed to have friends who are guys. Do you have friends who are women?
You need to examine this relationship and if you cannot commit to trusting her, you should let her find someone who will.

Answer 8

you sound to me like some one that has not grown up.. getting in a relationship is more than what you want. and if you can not feel OK with her past then get out run for your life for you are not old enough to be in a grown up relationship.. loving someone mean TRUSTING all the way and letting go of the past. never bringing it up never thinking about it.. when you love someone you love them for who they are and who they were and who they will be. you take the bad with the good.. if not get out fast run for it. my wife know of all the girls i went with and ya went to bed with.. and we are Friend with some of them they come to the house for dinner with there partners. and ya my wife is A OK with it why because the know that that was in the past and that the girls were family Friends, and still are.. at first i did not get how my wife could be Friends with my old girlfriends but then i understood that she loved me for who i am now and that i had a past and that i have past Friends. she love me enough to be OK with it all and we have some good laughs about our past. and so funny pictures to look at.. pal you need to grow up and understand every person comes with a past and past friends. if you don't have trust you don't have a relationship.. get out and let her go..

Answer 9

Everyone has a past. You need to learn to deal with it. Now, if she's hanging out with and flirting with these other "friends" you have a problem. But, if she's true to you, you need to forget what happened before and concentrate on your future.

Answer 10

dude this situation requires three words. "drop the subject"
its alright dude. think about it. you have other friends who are girls. (im just assuming it) so you dont want her to break up with you because of it right? also she just probably likes people to be around her all the time like most girls do. so just "drop the subject". okay! if anything happens if she loves you shell feel so guitly shell break up with you and/or tell you.
Good Luck brother and friend,
Lester Fester

Answer 11

If you don't know if you want this to work and you can't trust her....it's probably not going to....both of those things are needed to have a healthy relationship with someone.