blame you because you are not being able to relate to your own mother? She is sick, neurotic and influences everybody against me. I am 50 years old and I can not stand anymore to be compared to her or to be blamed because she is the way she is. My ex (who bisexual and told me years ago) brainwashed my kids, he takes my mother's side, there are times, like now, I feel in despair because I don't have anyone to count on and to talk with with exception of very few friends who seem so busy and I need to work, but I only wanted a work of encouragement. God knows it is impossible to be with my mother. I have to stay away to keep my mental health. But my children blame me for that and I don't know what else to day. It seems everything I say turns against me. Please, say something............I am not a bad person, I am hard-work, I have good feelings, but it is so hard to accept my mother and to be with her. She drives me insane, she told me she knows she is mean. What to do?
2006-11-08 05:31:09 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Stick it out, it won't last forever. Eventually the curtain will go down on her fa-sad and people will see you for who you really are again. Best of luck.
2006-11-08 05:34:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
We all have people like this in our lives. You can only control your own behaviour and do your best to explain your actions to those you love. As hard as it is, try to find the good in your situation - that may take years, but perhaps you have grown into a more understanding person or more loving person because of the influence your mother has had. Trust that by consistently doing your best, your family will eventually understand you and reconcile with you. Perhaps they never will, though, and maybe there is something for you to learn in that as well.
Keep searching for the learnings and the lessons. It will help you grow stronger. Feel free to lean on God as he is calling to you through this trial. You can chose to be bitter or you can chose to grow and become the mature person God knows you can be. Be the right example for your family. Some day they may thank you for it. Pray. I'll pray for you.
2006-11-08 13:44:30 · answer #2 · answered by AM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, ignore the jerk-offs who couldnt resist a chance to criticize your writing skills or otherwise complain in a pitiful effort to look superior to someone. and next.... ignore your ex-husband!! his opinion does not matter at all - he is probably latching onto and feeding negativity on your mom's part because he has a need to bring everyone else down- that way he can feel superior. (sound familiar?) the kids' opinions will change and evolve.....just hang in there.
it seems that being a ''good person'' is a ''lose-lose'' situation most of the time, but dont give up. one of these days you will find that you have found some peace and happiness because YOU know that you are a good person and you are satisfied that you have done your best, even though the result may not have been what you hoped for. no one can ask more of any person.
hang in there!
2006-11-08 13:58:01 · answer #3 · answered by little_wing65 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have had very similar situation. I refused to have any contact with my mother. (I did have one brother on my side and my children--but they were teens) This lasted maybe 4 years--until she died. I guess that I should say that I am sorry--but in truth, I am not sorry and I would do the same. I don't know if she realized what was happening or not but I could not handle that kind of problem, also. If you need to vent more--e-mail me. Don't know if I can help but I will listen and sometimes that helps--to just talk to a complete stranger. Best of luck and God bless.
2006-11-08 14:13:09 · answer #4 · answered by old_woman_84 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear this. I don't understand your kids taking her side but just hang on to the fact that you are a worthy person. Believe that and stand your ground. Do what is right for you. At 50 it is time to live your own life and stop trying to live it for others. Maybe you need to live on your own away from everybody.
2006-11-08 14:18:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Father God i come to you in the name of Jesus Christ your son i ask that you fill this lady with your love and peace give her the strength and the wisdom to know how to deal with what is bother her i ask You Jesus that you take away the pain in her life by your stripes we were healed Lord i believe you can do all things please bring peace and Love into her mother heart also so the can repair the damage that has been done in their life's Father God she is your Child and she is crying out for help please her in your name Jesus i ask and pray amen.
You need to clear your mind now of all bad thoughts and only let good ones and if this means staying away from all the negative people that are in your life do this until you are strong enough to see them if you have a Bible read it the New Testament is a good start Psalms is also good and soothing listen to good music God Loves you so much he sent his son to die for Our sins so we can live for ever Talk to God He is your Father in heaven we are his children he knows your needs and he would like to hear from you. God Bless you always.
2006-11-08 13:48:55 · answer #6 · answered by jamnjims 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to get counseling. In most cities there are low cost or no cost counseling mental health clinics that can help you out.
If that isn't an option I would suggest a minister. If you just need someone to email with send me a message and I will be glad to talk to you, I am not a professional but I am a sympathetic ear and will be glad to try.
2006-11-08 13:47:49 · answer #7 · answered by brendagho 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just remember God won't put no more on you than you can bear! You are probably going thru some trials that are going to make you stronger in the long run! Hang in there and try to think of what Jesus would do in your situation! Some times we have to separate ourselves, so maybe that's what you need to do! Pray for her and ask God to help her! Also pray for your husband and children too, because they obviously need help also! God Bless!
2006-11-08 13:45:04 · answer #8 · answered by panda 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
oh honey god wont blame you for that, just try to be the best mother for your children and some day they will understand you, i too have many problems with my mother and i try to get along with her and it isnt always easy but if i thought it would affect my mental state then i would stay away, i think its more important for your children to have a sane mother than a tormented one
may god bless you and take a minute everyday to think of all the wonderful things you do for your children
hope this helps
2006-11-08 13:36:27 · answer #9 · answered by sophia's mommy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is get counseling and pray for your mother. My mother was somewhat like that and one could not understand until her final days ended and it did not matter anymore. I wish I could have put up with any and all things that she done cause she is well missed now. Having all these problems there is victory coming for you somewhere and your joy will come hang on in there.
2006-11-08 13:38:02 · answer #10 · answered by JoJoBa 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If, in all seriousness, you must distance yourself from your mother to keep your sanity .....do so!
If other family members disagree, tell them to do what they must and you shall do what you must.
They will say you are wrong, but read them Romans 14:12.
Although, you could bend a little and send your mother a card now and then ....or a small gift.
That shows good will, but does not involve DIRECT contact.
2006-11-08 13:45:09 · answer #11 · answered by Uncle Thesis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋