My half- brother and his family are having Thanksgiving dinner at his grandmother's house. His mother invited me and my family over for dinner, but made it very clear for me not to bring our step-sister to the gathering. She is not well like on that side of the family, they only tolerate her because of me. I know she is going to ask what I will be doing for the holidays. How can I handle this in a tactful way?
2006-11-08 05:27:18 · 13 answers · asked by stella 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well, I read the follow-up question (at least, I think that was you), and gave this some thought. Not that I know the answer, but here are things to consider:
How close are you to your step-sis and half-bro? Can you talk to your step-sis calmly, tell her you know she suspects you're having a relationship with her boyfriend, but you really don't find him attractive - you only tolerate him for her sake - and then, if she accepts this, ask your half-bro if she can come?
If not (or if she won't accept it, or your half-bro is determined she shall not attend), then when your step-sis asks, you tell her that you're going to your half-bro's. When your step-sis asks "what about me?" or words to that effect, you tell her "you'll have to ask our half-bro."
Then you tell him, and his mom, that you know your step-sis is difficult, but you love her, and you love them all, and you aren't getting in the middle of this.
Then you back out.
Because it's up to him and his family who they invite into their grandma's house (it's technically up to his Grandma who's invited). It's also up to them to tell your step-sis why she's not invited, if they choose to do that.
Unfortunately, family tensions do arise from time to time, but you can't control what other people think/do/say - so all you can do is be honest with kindness, try not to make things worse, and let people work things out for themselves.
If you get between people (for example, trying to explain to your step-sis why half-bro doesn't want her there), you'll end up building up the problem (the more people involved in a problem, the bigger it gets), and eating dirt from both sides for Thanksgiving. Good luck!
2006-11-08 05:57:47 · answer #1 · answered by peculiarpup 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-09-01 09:16:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to go to that Thanksgiving maybe split the day bewteen them. Why don't they tolerate her? Any part of my family being not invited somewhere would really rub me the wrong way not to mention its a holiday and being with family would be more important. Does she have other family she can have thanksgiving with anyway?
2006-11-08 05:31:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thanksgiving is for being thankful for all your blessings. It is a joyous time to be spent with family. Since your step-sister is now a part of your family, you cannot leave her out, that wouldn't be fair. I would politely tell her you will have to decline, but thank her for inviting you, but you have other plans. You don't have to hurt anyone's feelings but you will be sparing your step-sister's feelings in the long run. No one likes to be excluded.
2006-11-08 05:38:19 · answer #4 · answered by june clever 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats a tough question. If you live with your step sister and not your half brothers mom then i would think i would have dinner with the one u live with but thank your half brothers mom so that feelings are not hurt. I don't think it is right for your brothers mom to make you have to choose.
2006-11-08 05:32:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would decide on where I wanted to spend my Holiday, if with step sister, then tell them no thank you. If you decide to spend it with your half-brother, just tell you step sister that you have other plans.
2006-11-08 05:31:51 · answer #6 · answered by cfoxwell99 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends. How old is your stepsister? If she's a grown woman with her own life, just tell the truth. If she's a kid, you might reconsider going to granny's house if it means leaving a kid alone on the holiday.
2006-11-08 05:30:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell your brother's mother that if your sister isn't welcome, you won't be joining them. She should grow up. Holidays are about FAMILY, even the parts of family we wouldn't necessarily choose.
2006-11-08 05:30:35 · answer #8 · answered by Nunya 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should spend it with your step sister. make it clear that you dont appriactae the fact that they are not alowing her to the gathering.
2006-11-08 05:36:33 · answer #9 · answered by acoats2006 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be honest! maybe you can go have dinner with ur mom for luch then ur step sister for dinner!
2006-11-08 05:29:46 · answer #10 · answered by Danna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋