I've heard people say that women, or men, who stay in abusive relationships "should expect" the abuse because they do nothing to better their situation. I've even heard it said that they "deserve" it because they don't leave the abuser.
I have a family member who puts up with the most horrible emotional (and I suspect physical) abuse. She let me read an email from her ex-b/f, (she tells me ex, but they still communicate) and it sent chills through me. I can't understand why she would tollerate this. She won't change her email address, cell phone number, or even block his messages, and I am at a loss for advice for her.
Any thoughts as to what to tell her as she seems to be so unwilling to put a stop to this.
2006-11-08 04:35:04 · 7 answers · asked by life made better thru chemistry 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Nobody ever deserves to be abused, verbally, emotionally or physically. The only person who can get out of this relationship is your friend. It can be very hard to leave a relationship and she is going to need an awful lot of courage and determination. But at the end of the day she is the only one who can do anything to make her life better. You sound like a true friend and I am sure if you continue to offer support and encouragement she will be able to make the move. Keep pointing out that she does not have to accept this kind of behavior from anybody, much less a person who supposedly loves her. Good luck. I hope things work out for her.
2006-11-08 04:51:04 · answer #1 · answered by PHILIP C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she doesnt deserve a man to treat her like this ( if he treats her this way he is no man at all) everyone deserves to be happy in their life and not being talked down to put down or pushed around, there is always someone better for her out there than the jerk she is still messing with right now, i would push the advice that she needs to change her email, phone number, etc or he wont' take the hint to **ck off, she will in the long run be happy the jerk is gone
2006-11-08 12:48:49 · answer #2 · answered by ajboxx04 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know who it was that said someone in that type of relationship deserves it, for nothing can be further from the truth. They are obviously not educated on the subject. When a person is in an abusive relationship they almost become crippled and can't move on. They can't see the reality of it. It is a dependency of sorts and it requires serious professional help. Your cousin needs to be put in touch with someone who has experience with abusive situations. Please call your local chapter of any co-dependency group. Even AA can help direct her to the right place for help. She needs you to continue to support her, in that you build her up and remind her that she is worthy of being loved by someone who truly loves her and respects her. Best of luck and don't give up.
2006-11-08 12:46:55 · answer #3 · answered by Catie 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow, wish everyone become as caring as you are!
Nobody ever likes to be treated BAD.....ur friend seems to be emotionally attached to the person or as such she has not got any good substitute for ex-BF.
Help her to come out of the dead relation and show her the brighter side of life.
Agreed that we all are alone in this crowded world, but that should not stop us from finding new friends who would give meaning to our life.
Good luck!
2006-11-08 12:49:50 · answer #4 · answered by KK 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No one "deserves" abuse but there are people like your family member who actively seek it out and thrive on it. They do it because bottom line ... they enjoy it on some level. There are a million reasons why this could be, but all that really matters is that she has decided to stick around and take it. She doesn't have to ... but she has decided to.
There is a man who advertises on my local craigslist. He pays women to kick him in the balls. Does he "deserve" this abuse? No. Is he doing everything in his power to make sure he gets it? Yes.
2006-11-08 12:48:31 · answer #5 · answered by BoomChikkaBoom 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
she is afraid of him and how he will retaliate if she does this. She needs to go to a shelter and press charges.
2006-11-08 12:56:08 · answer #6 · answered by Patricia S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no she doesnt deserve it no one does, but that's wut she is looking for. until she gets a standard for herself, it wont change
2006-11-08 12:38:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋