How do you keep your reactions in perspective?

Question

There are times when I react strongly to little things in life. For instance, if a friend doesn't e-mail me or call me back, I think, "What is their problem?, This is really disappointing.' When in reality the person was just busy and not trying to ignore me. And even if something small doesn't work out, I know it isn't the end of the world, although there are times when I react that way. Has anyone else dealt with this before. How do you control your reactions?

Answer 1

I have experienced this all my life, but it is only recently that I have been "diagnosed" with a metal illness (I'm not saying you are mentally ill though), and thus been able to accept that my reactions can be controlled. You seem to be on the right track by realising that your reactions are sometimes irrational, but I know that it isn't as easy as just recognising the issue. My personal method of dealing with my own urges to react badly is to recognise when my mood is "vulnerable" and to be extra careful when listening/ observing people's attitudes, and also to give myself a break when things don't work out as planned. When I feel on the verge of having the control broken, I take steps to leave the room, or get out of the situation. I tend to treat it as if it is a symptom of a physical illness, and that helps me to deal with it. Good luck!

Answer 2

I have an anxiety disorder that causes me to react strongly and usually unreasonably. I try to contain my reaction by not voicing my concerns, fears or anger. That gives me a chance to calm down without putting my foot in my mouth or really causing a problem when there wasn't one there before. I also try to think about what I look like to other people/or what I would think of someone else reacting the way that I do (not favorably ever). That puts me in check pretty quick.

Answer 3

Count to 10 before reacting. Use the "pause" to remind yourself to consider alternative reasons for why something happened. I.E. instead of assuming your friend is ignoring you, remind yourself "we all have things going on" and her response time has nothing to do with her feelings about you. After a while, it will become habit. Good luck!

Answer 4

i never dealt with this problem. but i had a friend like u. it gets annoying. if i was talking and stopped when she came in the room or talked in a hush voice to someone she thought i was talking about her. if i don't email her right away she would call me to see whats my problem? its like i am a way from the computer i have a son,a house and a husband, i have other things that need to be done other than sitting in front of a computer all day long.

i guess u really r insecure.

u need to become more secure in yourself and when u notice yourself thinking people are ignoring u, u need to tell yourself to stop. remember the world does not revolve around u and people are not thinking or talking about u as much as u think.