Whats the most funny joke you ever heard? Nothing too long!?

Question

2 cookies cross the road when one gets run over. What did the other one say?
Crumbs! HAHA lol

Answer 1

Funniest short joke I've heard for a long time -
What do Gareth Gates and Harold Shipman have in common?
Neither of them can finish a sentence.

Answer 2

The single pregnant lady ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ a youthful single lady discovers that she is pregnant, Scared She confides this records to her mom. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who grew to become into the pig that did This to you? i prefer to appreciate! the lady alternatives up the telephone and makes a decision. 0.5 an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their abode, a mature and outstanding guy with gray hair and impeccably wearing an quite high priced experience steps out of it and enters the abode. He sits interior the front room with the daddy, the mother and the lady, and tells them: "good morning, your daughter has recommended me of the concern. although, i can't marry her with the aid of fact of my very own kinfolk concern, yet i will take duty. If a woman is born i'll bequeath her 2 retail shops, a townhouse, a coastline villa and a $one million,000,000 financial corporation account. If a boy is born, my legacy would be a pair of factories and a $2,000,000 financial corporation account. no count if it particularly is twins, a production facility and $one million,000,000 each and each. although, "If there's a miscarriage or unsuccessful transport, what do you recommend I do?" At this element, the daddy, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the guy's shoulder and tells him... "you are able to attempt returned!"

Answer 3

One is a song, and another is a Michael Jackson joke.

Number 1:

(Sung to the tune of 'I Believe I Can Fly')

♫ I believe I can die, ♫
♫ I got ran over by the Ice Cream guy, ♫
♫ All I wanted was a popsicle, ♫
♫ Instead I ended up in a hospital . . . ♫

Number 2:

Q: What does a television and Michael Jackson have in common?

A: They both can get turned on by three year olds.

That's all I got.

Answer 4

Q. Why is television called a medium?

A. It is neither rare nor well-done.


To tell the weather: Go to your back door and look for the dog. If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it's probably raining. But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is probably raining really hard. If the dog's fur looks like it's been rubbed the wrong way, it's probably windy. If the dog has snow on his back, it's probably snowing. Of course, to be able to tell the weather like this, you have to leave the dog outside all the time, especially if you expect bad weather.

Sincerely, the Cat

Q. Why are chickens considered good employees?

A. Because they work around the cluck.

Answer 5

The Aristocrats joke

Answer 6

Not bad, I hope ...

- So you are just back from your holiday. Feel any change ?
- Not a penny.

Thanks for the bad point from perhaps a non-English speaking audience
Something easy now :

The professor rapped on his desk and shouted : Gentlemen, order !
The entire class yelled : Beer !

Answer 7

I heard that Jack the Rippers first job was slicing tarts for Mr Kippling.

Answer 8

A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only cling film for shorts. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."

Answer 9

Actually, on second thoughts, I won't put down my funniest joke because it's completely gross and I'll get reported. It's the dedicated fisherman joke if you can find somebody who knows it.

Answer 10

Doctor! Doctor! I swallowed a harmonica!
Lucky you weren't playing the piano!
#1denverfan