my boyfriend has been in jail for almost a year now, & he was suppose to get out this month, but i recently got a letter from him saying that he has to stay there for another year. we have been writing to each other, trying to still stay close, but i'm starting to just drift away from him. i decided that i'm just going to leave him, and when he comes home, he can try to find me. Is that a good idea? What exactly should i do?
2006-11-08 03:53:09 · 24 answers · asked by desireeethisss17 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
ummmm dump the loser.
2006-11-08 03:54:28 · answer #1 · answered by tvman30044 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally, if he can't keep his life together and has to end up in jail is that something you really want, he obviously will never be able to do much more then provide you a nice trailer and a pork & beans dinner on a good night. With a record like that he will never be able to obtain a job. What could he have done tht landed him in there a year anyways, it sounds like it was something pretty severe, drugs, rape, etc... Ask yourself is this the type of future you want. Tell him that you support him will continue to right to him, but your life is at a stall because of his irresponsibilty and it is not fair to you that you be punished as well for his wrong doings. I would make it clear that you don't want any resentment towards you and perhaps when and if he ever gets out maybe you can start from square one again. In the meantime tell him you need time to grow and it just isn't working for you. Make him believe that is isn't cause you stopped caring that is just hard to have a relationship when the person can not reciprocate back. Hopefully he is smart enough to understand your situation. Chances are he is a man, he more then likely would not have dropped his life for you if the shoe was on the other foot believe me. He needs to feel punishment, maybe it will make him grow and strive towards getting out of there and eventually improving his quality of life! Hope that you make the smart decision do what is in your heart!
2006-11-08 12:05:06 · answer #2 · answered by pattiof 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends on what he went to jail for and has jail changed him into being a better person. I wouldn't stay involved with someone who is still a bit shady. If you are becoming distant, it may be a sign that you weren't meant to be together. You shouldn't feel obligated to stay with him just because he's in jail. He put himself there, not the other way around. Start dating and enjoy your life. If you are unattached when he gets out, maybe some old feelings can be rekindled, maybe not. But you shouldn't stop living your life.
2006-11-08 12:11:20 · answer #3 · answered by leigh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in your position many years ago. The problem is that when people are in jail their lives stop and yours has continued. You have continued to grow as a person hence drifting apart.
Be honest. Tell him you are in two different places and want to move on. I would encourage him to find you when he gets out. Make a clean break and live your life. You will feel a huge burden and weight lifted.
Good Luck
2006-11-08 11:59:26 · answer #4 · answered by Hopey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really love him and you trust in him and there is no risk involved, wait for him.
Is not fair that if you loved him before and then just because he wont be outside for one year you break with him. One quality of real relationships is that there is loyalty, if you really like him look at the bright side, he wont flirt with woman !!!
is there a powerful reason to leave him? other than time??
2006-11-08 12:00:20 · answer #5 · answered by frankomty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
End the relationship. It's not realistic for either of you to think you can keep it going under the circumstances. Don't just leave him, write him and be as kind about it as possible. Just dumping him will make him crazy enough to cause problems for you when he's released.
2006-11-08 11:58:37 · answer #6 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Desiree, it just amazes me how many people ask questions that are soooooo obvious to the rest of us...
THIMK !! Why would you waste a whole year on someone who's gone off to college???? Now you ask what to do about year #2????
Find someone normal and try to be like him. Good Luck
2006-11-08 12:02:41 · answer #7 · answered by snvffy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's in jail, then he is hardly a "stand-up guy" and you should not limit yourself and your future! Write him a letter and tell him you need to get on with your life. He can't expect you to put your life on hold for him!
2006-11-08 11:59:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its hard to handle someone being in jail and then finding out that they are staying longer than intended...It is up to you what you do but first ask yourself would he do this to me if we were in each others shoes..Do you love him...If you don't love him then yes I would move on but let him know first...
2006-11-08 12:03:45 · answer #9 · answered by Mrs. M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was suppose to get out and got another year???
Sounds like you may have a career criminal. He doesn't want to leave home (home being the pen).
2006-11-08 11:55:58 · answer #10 · answered by www.treasuretrooper.com/186861 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ummm...i know i would never leave my man if he went to jail. I don't know what you should do....just be careful you don't want him to come out and FIND YOU!! You know what i mean? I would just write him and tell him exactly how you feel.
Think about how you would feel if you were in his situation, you would;t want him to leave YOU, would you?
2006-11-08 11:55:52 · answer #11 · answered by CMA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋