relationship?

Question

I have been dating my boyfrined for 8 months now, about 1 month ago I found out I was HSVP2 positive and he was the one that gave it to me. He told me he could have gotten it from his ex because she was an alcohol addict and had sex with lots of people.
I started to look thru his thing and found in his emails that he was part of a Swingers Club and was having threesomes with some friend of his and whoever they found on that website. They even went to a party from some company and god knows who they had sex with. I also found on his email that prior to him starting to date me he looked into getting tested but never did. When I asked him if he had anything before sleeping with him he promised he didn't have anything. So why would he even think of testing? Isn't this crazy...

I dont know what to do...I don't know if I could trust him. I have no right to be mad at him for his sexualty and the swingers club but it disturbs me. What do I do?

Answer 1

First off, I am sorry you got HSVP2 from your boyfriend. That is the slap in the face with a cold, wet fish. You feel dirty, but you've done nothing wrong.

It really sounds like you and your boyfriend need to have a serious talk. It seems like everyone you've tried ot talk that he's been avoiding the main issue. This is the issue: you both have HSVP2. You both need to find out where you go it. If he's gone to a swingers club, he needs to tell you.

Sit with him and explain your frustrations. Explain to him that your trust for him is waning, which I think is pretty generous. While you have no right to be mad at him for going, the fact that he didn't tell you is disturbing. If he isn't honest with you, how are you supposed to trust him 100%?

Answer 2

Dump him. Anyone that knew that they could possibly have that and did not do the respectable thing and get tested before they went to be with someone else doesn't deserve anyone. Now it may not be his fault that he has it, but he must have had some idea he did or he would not have been checking into it and he doesn't have any respect for you. He has also been going to bed with people he does not know and has more than likely contaminated them as well. Swinger's clubs are for fools and now he has drug you down with him. It's too late to be carefull now, but you can at least let the next person you get close to know what the deal is before they take that plunge. I am sorry for you and wish there was something I could do for you. Good luck.

Answer 3

He gave you a disease, leave him alone. He should've got tested, esp. if he knew his past or his ex's past. I don't see how you could ever trust him, is he out of the swinger's club? You should be disturbed about his lifestyle esp. if you weren't raised like that. I say he needs to get tested, and you need to make sure you're comfortable with who he is and what he's been through. But hopefully, he doesn't make you do anything you're not comfortable with or give you anymore diseases. BUt if for any reason you feel uncomfortable, just break up. You don't need this kinda drama following you around.

Answer 4

Actually,you have the right to be mad at him.He left you in the dark.Let's turn the other side of the coin to see what he would have done if you had done that to him.He wouldn't take it,girl.Choosing you means sharing everything with you does why he shared his disease with you.The problem is you were unaware of this.You didn't take part in that decision,he did that on his own.Are you cool with sharing your boyfriend? Lady,jealousy is not only in boy-girl relationship but in fact,same sex are extremely jealous than the former.Soon your boyfriend will be taken over by a guy.Stay out of this relationship,find a treatment for this disease if cureable.Or you can kiss many years of other diseases on the way.Be wise and make a good decision.

Answer 5

It's hard I know. You need to sit down with him and speak to him about the importance of being tested for all the deseases that are out there. You can't trust ANYONE! so please the next time you have to sleep with someone the ADULT thing to do is to strap it up. It's so easy to gain a sense of false security when a man or woman tells you that they are clean. Don't be fooled. You really need to take care of your body because now you are in a position where you need help, support and love and I'm sure he's not giving it to you. He's not ready to be in a relationship and I strongly urge you to talk to him about his choice of lifestyle and the consequences. So, here you are with this condition, are you getting counseling? Are you still with him? Honestly, if he doesn't want to be tested he's a coward. You need to re-evaluate why you want to be with someone that doesn't take care of his body and is willing to participate in risky sex with unknown individuals. I strongly urge you to get counseling, drop this guy (lord knows what he has), If you are uncomfortable with him swinging then don't participate and don't enable. There are too many deseases and viruses out there - please be careful, take care of yourself and please remember that a condom is your best friend. Love is great, sex is wonderful but the assurance that you protected yourself is priceless. Often men or women get offended when asked to wear a condom - honestly I don't know why. It's just an insurance policy. Sure you trust your partner, he can say baby i'm clean until his face turns blue - all you have to do is defend yourself and be willing to go a night without sexual gratification if your partner is unwilling to cooperate. Good luck. Please make some changes in your life.

Answer 6

Seriously hunni i would dump him. He should have had enough respect to tell you the truth if you were close enough to have unprotected sex. There are plenty of decent men out there who will treat you with the respect you deserve. You wont be able to trust a man who lied to you over something like this

Answer 7

The guy has not been honest with you. I think that's reason enough to dump him.

As for his past activities, you can't say he was cheating on you, because he hadn't met you yet.

On the other hand, there is nothing wrong with you deciding that a man who has ever done that just isn't your cup of tea. That is your call to make.

Answer 8

you have every right to be mad at him for lieing to you about where he got the havp2 and not having hinself tested. You were stupid for sleeping with him . That is why I am glad that I waited for sex until I was married and got a good man

Answer 9

first of all yeah u do have a right to be mad. and he lied to you. and let me tell you something consider yourself lucky thats all u got from him cuz any one of those swingers could have had herpes or even aids and not even have known it and that would never go away..

Answer 10

There's not much you can do now because you have it. You both should have gotten tested BEFORE you had sexual relations. Never believe what a guy tells you before sex...they just want sex!