Husband has been served papers for child support for children that he does not see, unsure if 1 is even his.?

Question

We have been married now for 7 months and have a very good relationship, we've both been very influentional in changing each others lives for the better. I have 2 children from a previous marriage, my kids love him dearly, especially my son. We do not have contact with my husband's girls because, 1-the relationship with the mother was really bad, 2-she cheated on him, 3-he doesn't even know if 1 of them is even his. We are seeing a lawyer today to see what we need to do so that my husband doesn't "get taken". She has and does get state assistance (that she hasn't always been entitled to) and now they want him to repay this because she has been lying to the state for they last 5 years. He wants paternity testing, but the judge may deni this because he signed the paternity affidavite in the hospital when they were born. He (and we) can't afford to pay insurance and child support on additional children. Call us bad people, but can he relinquish rights and not have to pay anything?

My ex-husband and I also have a very bad relationship, but we have somewhat figured out, through the various court battles, how to deal with child support and the like. He (my husband) was never married to this person, just unfortunately had a child(ren) by her and it was always a very bad relationship, to the extreme. We have both been threatened. He does not support me and my kids financially, I work also and I provide the insurance to my kids and to us. He works, for a private company and his benefits would cost him twice what I pay for mine. He was raised very poorly, me working-class. We rent and have one car, so it's not like we have a lot of money and spend a lot on ourselves or my kids. We both have good jobs, I work in law enforcement and he in construction--50hrs weeks. But still, we are in debt like most people, maybe even more so because of having ex's who helped ruin our credit history. We spoke to our lawyer yesterday and she thinks that he has a very good case.

Answer 1

i don;t think so, regardless of whether he sees the kids or not he is required to support them. If he signed the papers in the hospital than he is basically locked in, not much he can do, except get another job.

Answer 2

You have several options.
DNA - If you express to the court that your husband thinks he was tricked into believing the girls are his and request a paternity test to confirm.

Legal - Skip paternity testing and just assume (you will always wonder) and sign a legal document relinquishing his rights at a parent.

Moral - If they are his kids - It is the right of the child to be supported by both birth parents. If your husband paid any type of child support in the past, it could (in the eyes of the court) be interpreted as known obligation that he paid into. This tells the court that he believes these children to be his. There my be nothing else you can do.

Best of luck!!!

Answer 3

I personaly wouldnt do that, my dad went trhough something similar when my parents split up. He didnt need to get a paternity test becuse i look exactly like him but if hes worried that the child may not be his he can for sure get a DNA test esspecially if he found out after that the child may not be his. As for the assistance if he didnt know about it theres nothing that they can do, if he did know about it he may have to repay something for not reporting it it depends on the province/ state. And if i were him i would potition the court for custody of the kids! If the mother is willing to defraud the country what is that teaching his kids! Plus most judges give equal opportunity and fathers are just as likely to get custody as mothers. If he cant get sole custody the at least go for joint that saved my dad $300 a month because i was at his house for 12 nights a month and eatting his food! The reason i say not to give up his parental right is because most guys i know wouldnt be able to stand the thought of having a kid out there that they couldnt see, talk to or watch grow up even from the side lines! Im sure hes a stand up guy and my dad thought of the same thing because my mom put him through hell but he couldnt do that! In the end i have a better relationship with my dad than i do my mom it took me quite a while because i listend to my moms crap but all i can say is if i were in the situation i would get a second job or go to legal aid if you have it and see if you qualify for free or cheaper legal fees! they are still really good but the money you save there can go to the kids!

Answer 4

I don't think he can relinquish rights and get out of it - Honestly - if he made all or some of them then he should take responsibility. I am not a lawyer or a judge or have anything to do with the law - but I am human with a good sense of responsibility. A paternity test is a good idea and fighting to not pay for his ex's lies and indiscreations is a good idea but abandoning the child that IS his is just immature, irresponsible and should send YOU a red flag about his moral character.

Another thought - so what if the relationship with the other woman is bad - endure it for the sake of the CHILDREN -- they are CHILDREN who with a mother like the one you are describing need a secure steady responsible role model in their life.

Answer 5

He cannot give up his paternal duties unless there is someone ready to take them over.

Iam glad you two have eachother, but its still really sad to say that he doesnt see the children he created, and those girls haev to grow up without a father just because their mother is hard to deal with and a cheater. If he loved those kids he'd stop at nothing to give them all of himself.

He's not being "taken" by this woman, she's just realized she can twist the knife legally by getting him to pay child support. Something he should have been paying all along, and something he should WANT to do for children he created. Why on earth wouldnt he want to try to give them as good a life as he could, even if it were just monitarily.

I dont think you're bad people at all, I just think you've both let the situation become a personal one between the mother and you two, instead of it being about the innocent children involved.

They cant help it their mother is a cheating witch, and that their father doesnt want to fight to give them anything and evertyhign he can.

Part of making babies with any person is realizing its a life long comitment, even if that person and you dont work out. The obligation to the children still remains.

Answer 6

I am sorry to tell you that I hope that the court does make him pay. I am a father and I also had to pay child support. I think that as a responsible parent he must pay. I understand your concerns, but he can still request for paternity tests, and if he gets a lawyer, it can be forced. He still is the father to one of the girls, and he is obligated to do the right thing. Think about this just a little, on a real basis, and please keep your emotion out of it. If something was to happen and you were to divorce, would you like him to duck out on you? I understand that you children are from another relationship/marriage, but make believe they are his children. Think about it in that manner and I think you will feel that he does have an obligation to the children. If he couldn't afford to support them, what makes you certain that he can afford to support you and your children?

Answer 7

I think that if you bring this to the judge and let them know that the reason for his doubts are because she cheated on him and he didn't know until later, maybe the judge will grant a paternity testing. If it is not granted then he will have to pay his child support, but if he relinquishes his rights to his children then that could be devastating to his children and that could cause them years of pain. He must think of other ways with the advice of your lawyer for dealing with this situation. It is a messy one but I think that he needs to think about these girls and the effect that this will have on them. If he relinquishes his rights then he's saying that he does not want anything ot do with these kids ever again and he will have no rights or say in there up bringing.If the judge grants this then he won't have to pay anything.

Answer 8

You can get the paternity testing. You will need a good lawyer. If you can prove she has been cheating the state, that would be great. I know my sister had her first relinquish rights and he doesn't pay child support, but if she wants to take him for as much money as possible, then she will. Have them test both kids, not just the one in doubt. If they are his, he will have to take responsibility. Good luck.

Answer 9

He can have a pertnity test as long as he is willing to pay for it and no he can not wash away his rights just to get out of paying support, if that was the case all the dead beats in America would do that. I know right now your saying your husband is not a dead beat but he does have children he is not paying for. Along with Child Support comes the right for him to get his lawyer to apply for visitation, but as far as the child support goes he is waisting his money on a lawyer as he is responsible, sorry.

Answer 10

Nope. If he's the dad, then he's financially responsible for the kids.
I'm not sure if you're planning on having kids with him, but I would advise you to wait a few years and get to know him MUCH better. Whatever his reasons for not seeing his kids are (or paying support these years) are nothing more than excuses. I know divorced parents, including mine, who cannot stand their ex's but still there is nothing that would ever keep them from their children.
He should be man enough to know that whatever unplesantness he and his wife have, he needs to swallow it and be a good father to the children he created.

Answer 11

Well first, if you chalenge the paternity the court will have to do a paternity test. Legaly he cannot be forced to pay for a child that isn't his IF he challenges it.
As far as parental rights, he can sign off on them but than those children would no longer legaly be his children. So think long and hard over that one.