She didnt have a boyfriend til she was 20 and said she is just catching up on lost time. The one guy she has been with for two years,the other about 8 months,another one she is having a sexual relationship with at work and now she has met another guy who she's been seeing for a month. I know she has had problems with depression so i'm wondering if this has got something to do with her behavior?
2006-11-08 02:41:36 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
What an excellent example of promiscuity. We probably all fantasise about multiple sexual partners but few are lucky (or unlucky) enough to gain real life experience in this area. The only problem is that people who have excessively promiscuous lifestyles, invariably have to pay the price of their behaviour. This often manifests itself later in life when the person feels that it is time to settle down. Either there will be a reluctance to commit to a single partner or there may be a general feeling of unhappiness in committed relationships. Often later in life, the person will regret their behaviour which may in extreme circumstances carry an associated reputation. You mention depression and perhaps this may be related. Maybe her means of counteracting the 'lows' is through multiple partners. Regardless, I doubt very much that deep down she is happy (obviously not, given that she suffers from depression). Better to deal with her depression and seek out a single partner who will bring her real happiness.
2006-11-08 03:19:38 · answer #1 · answered by Moose 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I suppose it would depend on the amount of commitment she feels to each relationship. If there is no commitment, there's no problem. Perhaps she is just making up for lost time.
If on the other hand one or more of the guys consider that she is committed to them, then she has a problem and should stop seeing all four of them for a while to get some perspective in her life.
Maybe she is like a kiddie let loose in a sweet shop at the minute but the time will come when she has lost all of them and gained the reputation for putting it about a bit so no one else will touch her with a barge pole and she will regret what she has done. Or be pregnant by one of them. Or worse.
2006-11-08 02:46:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Depression could be something to do with her behaviour because when your down you feel unloved and unwanted so now she has 4 guys all wanting her and making her feel great but she'll end up feeling worse in the long run. Does she have any help from her doctor for depression? If not why don't you go with her to get her some. Just keep being a good friend to her at all times and be there for her when she needs you.
2006-11-08 02:46:02 · answer #3 · answered by Jo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Catching up on lost time, did you say? I think she is well ahead of many who started earlier. Four is quite a handful (or more appropriately both hands full). I assume that she has remarkable juggling skills.
Returning to your question, it could indeed be a behavioural problem originating from depression, as you suspect. Such people tend to get into a slump once the excitement is over and immediately look for another source of excitement. Alternatively she could be oversexed, which again is a problem. Whatever it is, its a problem all the same for which you don't label anybody 'good' or 'bad'. Being her friend, help her to get over it.
2006-11-08 03:01:41 · answer #4 · answered by Modest 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hang on, hang on everyone! You're talking as if she were married or engaged. She is a free agent and just having fun. Good for her! Just as there are playboys, so there are playgirls. Maybe each of the four guys she is seeing give her something different that only one can't.
Two-timers get a lot of derision from people, but nearly everyone has done it at least once ... and surely the rule applies only after marriage? (And if you get engaged, you put the rule of monogamy onto yourself, because you have chosen a partner who can fulfill all of your needs in one package...) Then think about all the married people who cheat on their spouses ... what this girl is doing is not legally or morally wrong.
And perhaps it will cure her depression?
Who are we to judge? You, as a close friend, can worry if you think she might be hurting herself. If your motives for concern are for her sake, it is nice for you to worry about her. But you can't do anything about it until she herself thinks she has been making a mistake. All you can do is watch over her and be there to support her. That's what friends are for. The four men in her life will supply the other things she is looking for.
2006-11-08 02:56:46 · answer #5 · answered by kiteeze 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
She needs to be careful, this is a dangerous game. Their is also a lot of disease out their, so she better be careful. You may have hit it right on the head, about her depression, I would think that she needs to talk to a therapist, she has a problem, that she is not addressing. by her going this will make her fell better about herself. so please try and encourage her! Tell her you never catch up. What a good friend you are, to want to help!
2006-11-08 02:51:34 · answer #6 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think depression has got winds of her behavior, it because of that depression that is why she is behaving like that, but the earlier she realise that will not solve the problem it will only aggrevate it more...
what she can do now is to hold on and believe in her self that she is beautiful, with or without any man she can make it in life.
and she should work hard and constrate on her work and study more...then instead looking for man, that will be other way round.
i wish her best of luck
2006-11-08 02:51:00 · answer #7 · answered by phemmy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since guys do this why not a girl? The logistics of doing this take most of the fun out of it in a very short time. I once had 3 dates on one day. It was fun just to see if I could do. Never felt like doing it again.
2006-11-08 02:48:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have a friend exactly the same. She does it to make herself feel wanted, therefore feel better about herself. Basically a very insecure person who needs to be with someone all the time. Depression would be a very reasonable explination for her behaviour. Counselling would be a solution.
2006-11-08 02:46:12 · answer #9 · answered by djmonsta200883 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Two years is a long time to spend with someone and if it aint love by then.... Unless he has several things on the side and thats the way the relationship is.
Fairplay to all the players out there.
2006-11-08 02:58:19 · answer #10 · answered by Richard C 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋