My boyfriend broke up with me because I would not allow him to spank my child. We have only been together for two months and I dont feel comfortable with him spanking my kid. I feel there are better ways to discipline my 2 year old son. He says I constanly make excuses for my son because of his age and he is not going to let a 2 year old run his relationship. He told me that he could not be with me if he could not spank my son and I think he is totally out line. I can not agree with is behavior because he is not his father and we have only been dating for two months. Do you think he is wrong?
2006-11-08 01:51:17 · 32 answers · asked by Sparkle 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes he is definitely wrong, unless he is willing to step up marry you and legally adopt the child he should have no say. The last thing the kids needs is a pseudo father figure coming in out of his life. You should ask yourself why does he wanna hit the kid so badly? Physical discipline is very tricky as it can easily turn into abuse. You've know this man for 2 months? What has he done to earn the right to put his hands on your child?
2006-11-08 01:55:32 · answer #1 · answered by BossHogg R 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Nobody should spank their children. It does not solve anything. And it only teaches the child that physical violence is the answer to bad behavior. As for the boyfriend, drop him. First of all, he is NOT the boy's father. Second, he's new to the relationship. And Third, why is he so interested in spanking? As for the child running the relationship, at this stage of the game, he should! When you have a child, you make a silent agreement, to forgo any and all other relationships until your childs needs are met. This doesn't mean you have to give up dating, or enjoying life, but it does mean that your son comes first. The boyfriend is a punk, and you are right to tell him he cannot discipline your son. Why allow a child to be disciplined by another adult who may or may not be there for the child in the future? If you were marrying the punk, that would be different. However, spanking is not the answer.
2006-11-08 01:55:42 · answer #2 · answered by kari w 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He should not lay a finger on your child!!!!!!!! Your child's discipline is your business - he should not have apart in this. If he has a problem with your son - he should talk to you about it - and allow you to take appropriate discipline measures. Spanking can be very damaging - there are other discipline measures you can use. Your son is only 2 years old - discipline should be rather mild at that age - maybe a time out - such as sitting in the corner for 10 minutes.
If I were you - I think I would get away from a boyfriend with an attitude such as his. I don't think I would want to end up in a relationship with him where the two of you could have children together.
Your first and foremost responsibility is to protect your son - so keep him away from that man!!!!!!
2006-11-08 02:20:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I'm very lucky that I don't have that problem because my fiance and I don't have children yet. But growing up with a single parent my mom's boyfriend was allow to spank me if needed (but he never had to.) Also anyone in my family (aunts, uncles, and grandparents etc) to spank me (which also never happen, I guess I was a good kid.) I think it would be one thing if the boyfriend/girlfriend was new in the relationship because I don't believe first of all that ALL the people you date need to come home and meet your children. But if you and that person has been together for years (maybe you now have children together) than its fine. Here is a good example my cousin has a 13 year old and a 4 years old, the 13 year is from another relationship. Her and 4 years old dad have been together since the 13 years old was 3 years old. The step dad is a like a second dad in his life, he treats him just like 4 year old. So I think its important because if not your going to hear a lot of "your not my mom/dad you can't do that." I think its really the only way to blend the family together is to treat all the kids the same.
2016-05-21 21:50:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should not be allowed to spank him. If he broke up with you because he wants to spank your child, he has issues. Right now is the time for you and your son to have a wonderful relationship and he should not be pushed to the side because you are wanting companionship. Seek the Lord and a relationship with Him and ask for his guidance on how you and the child's father can come into agreement on the rearing and disclipine of your son. You also do not want the father of your son to have any excuse to say that you are not a good mother. Lose the Loser. Good books to get: Holy Bible
The Power of a Praying Parent by Stormie Omartian ( get them soon)
God Bless, you are in my prayers
2006-11-08 02:02:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
He is wrong about spanking. No matter how long you've been dating your son has to know that he is expected to respect all adults. Your son also must be free to tell you when something is done to him. (So as to prevent abuse.)
and so are you... he needs to be able to discipline your son verbally or by time out and you need to stand up for him in this.
Your son needs consitent and well defined boundaries. Without these he will end up running your life and be a spoiled, undisciplined brat. I really don't think you want that. Your son will need to respect other adults in school later on anad he needs to learn that now.
Talk with the bf and let him know that spanking is out but being a reponsible adult is ok. Also let him know that you will not tolerate your son misbehaving, but the bf has to remember he is only 2.
There is a balance that can be reached here if you look for it and are willing to compromise a little. The bf has to do this as well.
2006-11-08 02:05:33 · answer #6 · answered by my_iq_135 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He's completely wrong. He's not the father nor the step-father and does not have the right to spank your child. I do think that he has the right to tell the child "No," etc., but he should let you do the disciplining.
Forget about him. If he wants this much control over you and your family this early in the relationship, it will only get worse.
Your child is first - ALWAYS!
2006-11-08 01:55:17 · answer #7 · answered by alisha_kelly 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Okay first of all this shouldn't be that much of a problem because he is your boyfriend and not your husband. And as a woman you should always put your child in front of anyone else. But if you spare the rod you spoil the child, and a 2 year old is old enough to get a spanking...but maybe from his mother.
2006-11-08 01:54:40 · answer #8 · answered by pudgie39759 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is your son. You decide who disciplines your child, not your boyfriend of two months. Spanking a two year old child really doesn't do much in the way of discipline except promote hitting.
Excellent job of sticking up for your son!!!!!!! I am tired of seeing women who so badly want to be with a man that they will let that man treat their kids like crap, just so the man will stay.
2006-11-08 01:54:18 · answer #9 · answered by momofmodi 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
No way! You should never let anyone spank your child . You are the parent and the child will grow to resent you letting anyone spank him. If there is a discipline problem, YOU need to deal with it. If the boyfriend has a problem, let him take it up with you, not your baby. He is very wrong!
2006-11-08 01:56:35 · answer #10 · answered by moose on the loose 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋