why do guys do this?

Question

My now ex-boyfriend is in Iraq(he is in the air force) we broke up when he got there his choice, anyway one minute he tells me I need to move on the next he calls telling me he misses me then sends me half naked pics. When I ask him what is going on he telss me he never should have sent them or called. Then a week later he sends me the lyrics to " What hurts the most" by rascal flatts, and i get a note in the mail with the smell of his cologne. WHY!!!!!!!!!! If he wants me to move on why does he keep torturing me like this. I love him very much but am trying to move on like he wants. So why not just leave me alone?? Any suggestions on this. Thanks

Answer 1

Get a new guy. Stay away from AF people though. AF sucks, I know Im serving

Answer 2

Sounds like he's confused. And very possibly depressed. You can try a couple of approaches:

1. Accept it. Don't ask him what's going on. Just take what you're getting, and know that more than likely he wants a relationship with you. He probably only broke it off with you because he didn't want you to wait around for him. He was doing you a favor, so to speak.

2. Tell him to leave you alone. And quit accepting things from him in the mail.

It's possible that he's afraid of keeping you waiting for him. He might be worried that he wont make it home, and figures if you two end it and you move on, then you wont have to mourn him if he doesn't make it. Men are good at playing the martyr. If you love him, tell him so. Write him a letter telling him you understand why he broke things off with you. But since you love him, there is no way you can move on, even if he never contacts you again. Tell him you will be waiting for his return.

Good luck.

Answer 3

He was trying to be the hero and let you go in case he got dead in Iraq. Here's the problem with that - he's not a hero. He wants you to "show him that you love him" by waiting for him even though he broke up with you. Men can't articulate things very well so he just isn't able to say that to you. If you love him, then wait and don't question what he sends you or when he calls you. If you don't want to deal, then don't. At all. That's all I can say. Good luck.

Answer 4

Well I was kinda in the same situation. My guy didn't want me to move on but he was so paranoid that i would do something stupid. Which made our relationship suffer big time! I'm sure that's whats going through his head, and he wants to let you go so it wont hurt him as much if you find someone now since your not together, then if you guys were together. My suggestion is tell him how you really feel, reassure him that you don't want anyone else and that you'll wait for him, but if he still wants to let you go then let him know you have to move on!

Answer 5

I think he really does want to be with you, he just doesn't want you to get hurt. He's in Iraq.....who knows the chance of him making it out of the alive.(I hope he does) But seriously, I think all he's trying to do is keep you from getting hurt, he's just going about it the wrong way. Give him time. When he calls you don't fight about it. Write him and let him know how you feel. Tell him he's confusing you. The best way for you to figure this out is to talk to him about it. Hope everything goes great!

God Bless!

Answer 6

HE wants u to be happy but is having problems putting someone befor himself. he wants for u to move on even though he himself cant. my bet is that at first he thought he would be ok without u and that u would be better off but now hes lost and scared that ull never come back. he loves u but wont addmit it to himself and its taring him up on the inside.

I had the same problem for a while.

IF i were you i would confront him about his feeligs, tell him that u want to stay with him (only if u want to) until he comes back, or tell him that he has to forget about you and move on. i wouldnt addvise making up another bf bc that could push him over the edge just dont get ur point acrost and let him be.

Answer 7

You say you love him very much but it doesn't sound like it....perhaps you didn't give him the answer he was looking for... he gave you a way out but didn't really expect you to take it... so now the balls in your court... tell him you love him and don't want anyone else...or tell him its over and you have moved on, if you do the later cut all ties...

Answer 8

Do what your heart tells you to do. If you still care for each other then be together. If your ready to move on, then do it. Write him a letter or ask him on the phone what he really wants. He may be playing a game with you or he might really miss you. I dont know the guy, so I cant tell you. Good luck.

Answer 9

Maybe you have to make up in your mind to leave him alone, if he's telling you that he must mean it down in his heart because if he really cared about you he would do everything he could to make sure he didn't loose you to anyone else. I think some guys just like the amusement of playing with other peoples feelings just because they can. Ignore him and if he really wants you he'll shape up. I wouldn't allow my feelings to be put on the line just because he doesn't know what he wants to do.

Answer 10

OK, don't read any farther unless you want the truth, and it may hurt.


He broke up with you so he can have a clear conscience to sleep with other gals when he's in Iraq but wants to keep you waiting in the wings for him when he get back so he can start the relationship back up with U.