Should we date(see below)?

Question

My friend and I are very attracted to each other, jhave total trust, and would like nothing more than to date one another. The problem is that she is a christian and I am an atheist. She and our friends,also christians, believe that dating outside of their faith will threaten their faith. I don't see it that way and in fact this makes no sense to me, but they believe it.

What are your thoughts? And please put your religion or lack thereof in the answer so that when I show her the question she can see that christians and other religions did answer.

Answer 1

My husband and I are atheists. He told me about his position before we married and I accepted it. I was an atheist in every way but by name, and just decided that I am what I am; I've been happy with the decision ever since.

That said, the argument they give about dating outside of their faith is almost the same one used by those who oppose gay marriage. They somehow believe that gay marriage is a threat to heterosexual marriage. My husband and I have discussed this before; our feeling is, if our marriage is somehow threatened by Bob and Dave's marriage, then we have other problems. Our marriage is our marriage; the only threat to our marriage would be a lack of love, respect or communication with the other. That's our problem, not something Bob and Dave created.

If you are strong in your beliefs, whatever they are, you rise to the challenge to defend them. Your faith (whether in God or in yourself) should not be shaken by association with those who believe differently than you. If anything, it should bolster your confidence to go out into the world.

Your friend believes that all she does is based on faith at its very foundation. Frankly, she may be feeling very conflicted because you are a decent, trusting, and honorable person on your own - without having the guilt of religion as a motivator to be these things. In her mind, and that of her friends, you can't have those qualities without faith. Your relationship with her proves that you can; it's a threat to what she believes, and on some level she may be questioning her faith. You are not asking her to give up her faith. You are treating her with kindness, respect and are offering the prospect of being in a loving relationship. You have not shunned her friends because they are Christians, you embrace them as cool people who just happen to believe differently.

I don't know what to tell you other than you seize opportunities when they're presented to you. I hope she at least considers how wonderful dating could be for the both of you. The only way you're going to know is to jump in and see what happens. If it goes well, you will approach any hurdles your differences present from a standpoint of love and respect. If it doesn't work, you will have given it an effort, and time will heal whatever heartbreak occurs.

You can't know how it's going to work without giving it a chance.

Answer 2

I'm Catholic. I have nothing against dating someone from another religion or from another race. Dating outside of the faith sometimes strengthens it. She can look at it this way. When she dates you, she can be 'trying' to save your soul by making you marry, have kids and do everything else that she believes in. It's more about the personalities and if they match. If the two of you can talk for hours on end and make each other smile inside for the rest of the day. If she's a strong Christian, so long as you don't have relations before marriage you should be fine. Don't force each other's beliefs on each other or things just won't work out. After some time, things will be normal where she goes of to Mass and you either kill time in town waiting to pick her up or catch up on reading or bills. Good luck.

Answer 3

Dating would be fine, but you could have problems if it gets serious. My family is not religious. My brother married a Catholic girl and religion immediately became a problem. He didn't want a church wedding and he didn't want a mention of God in the ceremony. She went along with it, because people do things like that when they're in love, but she came to resent how his attitude towards religion caused her to wander away from her faith. They seemed so in love, had so much in common, and just really seemed to enjoy each others company, but they divorced after just two years (they had dated for about four). If you really want to date this girl, do NOT try to turn her away from her faith. Don't challenge her beliefs. If you respect her, you will respect the fact that she is Christian. Don't try to interfere with her desire to go to church. I am not a religious person because I wasn't raised that way, but I respect people who are religious. Good luck to you both.

Answer 4

Well I'm a cross between 3 religions/spirtualites, Jefferson Christrian( Jesus was a man with great philosophical views not a son of god, due to no god exisiting) Zen Practioner( basic Zen Views, more about oneself than anything else) Atheist due to science

Thomas Jefferson wrote his own bible from an atheistic point of view, The Jefferson Bible, Is a collection of the 4 Gospels with any thing scientifically impossible removed(virgin birth, resurection) and placed in cronological order. TJ said Jesus was a great man, however he was not the son of god as there is no god. It seems as if he placed Jesus along side Plato so to speak.

as far as the pairing goes? just be honest and respectful to each others needs and desires. Many pairings can go together well, my mother was raised Catholic, and my dad was raised Lutheran, raising two free thinking boys, my brother has became Jewish.

Answer 5

Well, since you have no faith, what's the problem? She's not dating outside of anything.
I am also not religious and when I have dated a religious woman, we usually stay away from the subject. If she wants to attend Church on Sunday, more power to her. That's the time, I would usually catch up on yard work, pay bills, watch the game, whatever.
Bottom line, is that if you truly Love each other, one thing will not get in the way.

Answer 6

I think the main question is whether you are a "good" person. I am a Christian, although I don't attend church, and my beloved husband is a kind of non-believer. I really don't see why it should matter, unless she tries to enforce her opinions on you. Incidentally most believers always seem to be happy and I also think even if you are an atheist that the 10 Commandments are a good basis on which to base your lifestyle. I do hope that you are able to overcome this slight hitch in your relationship, after all remember that love really does conquer all.

Answer 7

It doe's not matter what religion you are god made us all different to challenge us, we all think that there is only one god so it must be who we have learnt about weather u are Christin or Catholic etc... I think there is only one god but we see or know him in a different light because of the stories we have been told, but i think it was like Chinese whispers, the story gets different every time someone tells it.....lol

Anyway if you like each other, you shouldn't worry about what others think , BUT.. on the other hand you also need to weigh up weather you are willing to loose a good friend, because if you break up things could get rough, and you might not see the other person as you did before so think about it!

Answer 8

Yes totally, I think someone who loves you will never try to change, by her being Christian, you will be in a way influence by her style and religious acts. I am catholic and so is my mom, when she married my dad he didn't believe in God that much, but I guess my mom's acts and way of see life as a Catholic had a great influence in Dad, he now believes in a God, a superior being, it can take lots of time. So if you love each other well just live and try, life is too wonder full to miss on the good stuff, like a great girl ;). Good luck

Answer 9

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Answer 10

If your faith is strong, then being partners with someone of another faith will not weaken yours. Who is to say that Christianity, Buddhism, Catholiciscm, or Aethiest are correct? No one knows, nor ever will now. My fiance and I don't agree on our faiths, but that doesn't make us weaker to our own. If your friends are afraid of having their religion threatened, maybe they should take a step back and look at how strong theirs really is.