She has been potty trained for a year now but started pooing in her pants when her baby sister started to sit up and need more attention. I can see that it is an attention thing but I have run out of ideas to get her to stop. So far I have tried bribing, sad jar happy jar and putting her on the stairs where she doesn't stay and have now resorted to putting her in a room for 5 minutes without toys. All of these have not worked as she doesn't think she is doing anything wrong. Apart from the pooing she is pretty well behaved. Any suggestions are welcome.
2006-11-08 00:58:01 · 14 answers · asked by sals 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Breathe. Breathe again.
You are right, it's just to get your attention.
Ignore the behavior sounds harsh, but it just might work. If you make a big deal out of it, then she gets what she wants. You. Good or bad. You don't want to leave her in dirty pants, but just for a short period of time, won't hurt. If she poops. Ignore her for a few minutes. Continue doing exactly what you are doing. Remember...2 minutes feels like 20 minutes to a 3 year old. Then calmly, without a word, take her and clean her up. Then just walk away and do something else. All the while ignore her.
At another time, long before or after a pooping incident, set aside a special time just for the two of you. No baby. Just Mommy and her special big girl. Do only big girl stuff that babies don't get to do. Play it up. Tell her that you love her and the baby so much. Tell her that you know she's going to be the best big sister in the whole world. Tell her how lucky the baby is to get her for a big sister. Tell her sometimes you miss it just being you and her time.
Try asking her to help you with the baby. Tell her you need her help. You'll be surprised by how much she can do with your help and supervision. Ask her to help you changed those diapers. Seeing (and smelling) it will remind her that this is what babies do. Not big girls. She can help with feeding. She can help bath and dress the baby too. Don't forget the entertainment. She can sing or dance for the baby.
Give her a reason to want the new sibling around. Make her happy to have a new edition to the family. Make sure she knows that you need her help and want to spend time with her.
Remember it's a phase and it will pass. It will all be o.k. in the end.
2006-11-08 02:39:25 · answer #1 · answered by soccermomw3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I am right with you. I have a five year old son, who does the same thing, and I'm at my wit's end. I've taken him to the doctor's for this too. He told me that he was constipated and it hurt to go, but I have used everything thing I can think of to help him, including giving him a dollar for everytime he went on the potty. I have four kid's, and I feel he does it for attention, although I try to divide my time, it's hard. He does act out, but can be a great kid. Talk to her doctor, either it's constipation, and you need to use mineral oil in her juice or it's an attention thing.
I understand the feeling and frustration, I'm now in the process of potty training his two year old sister, which she see's me yelling at him for it, so she don't poop. Not a good thing, so I just keep quiet, clean him up and go. What can a mom do???? I think we need more advice, agree?
2006-11-08 07:09:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not uncommon for older children to regress when there is a new baby in the family or other traumatic events (death, move, wedding - even happy events can create anxiety!)
Be patient with your daughter - actually the more you stress about it and try to control or punish her, the worse the problem will get. Try so set aside time everyday that you spend just with your daughter. Take a deep breath and ease up the pressure for her to poo in the potty. Go about clean-ups matter of factly, but do take her to the bathroom regularly - in a low pressure way! Is there a certain time of day when she usually 'goes'? Watch for her cues and take her to the potty with you around that time. Give it some time. Good luck!
2006-11-08 01:05:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are making her have time out for pooping her pants?? She's only three, she's still getting used to it. My daughter has accidents and it has nothing to do with attention. She still doesn't realize that sensation means she needs to go potty. I know it's frustrating, but it's an accident. Try having her help you with the baby. Ask her if she can get her sister's toy, have her sit on one side of the baby and you on the other(still within reach because chances are she won't be able to hold her up) Or have her sit in front of her and tell her to make funny faces and make her smile. Get them engaged with one another. I have two girls who are the best of friends (and the worst enemies). But they love to play with one another. I hope this helps, Good luck
2006-11-08 02:35:42 · answer #4 · answered by Melissa R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try not to punish her or make her feel bad about it. I think that is what helped my Son when he did this (I think all kids do at some point). I just told him every time he had an accident that he was a big boy, and there was no reason for him to be doing that. After a few weeks, he stopped, and has been great ever since.
Put the ball in their court.
2006-11-08 02:09:52 · answer #5 · answered by Fluffy Rover 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My 3 year old regressed as well. Only peed in her pants. It got really bad but when I started to spend more one on one time with her she stopped. I don't have a lot of time but even 15 minutes to spend time with her she is happy with. We do a craft. She helps me do housework. Just involve her more and that may help.
Good luck I know it is hard and frustrating.
2006-11-08 05:46:36 · answer #6 · answered by magsmolsmom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe taking time when the infant is sleeping to give the 3 yr old attention. Regression is normal but have your 3 yr old involve everyway possible too will help - make her feel just as important as the infant.
2006-11-08 01:07:56 · answer #7 · answered by wyattj23 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
put a diaper back on her and tell her she's no longer a big girl and needs to wear a diaper again. And when she poos her pants, make her wipe herself. she will stop real quicklike. Or take her out with you, spend more time with her WITHOUT the new baby.
2006-11-08 01:06:08 · answer #8 · answered by sshhmmee2000 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
My 3 yr old daughter still poops her pants but she pees in the toilet, so go figure. She is afraid of public toilets and will only go at home or at Grandma's house. If you get some great amazing answer to your question please let me know, I would really appreciate it.
2006-11-08 02:18:19 · answer #9 · answered by americandream1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My 3 year old son did this too. We finally decided to make him clean up his underwear himself. He had to get it out of his underwear and make them clean so I could put them in the washer. It worked. He only did it twice then he decided it wasn't worth it anymore. Good luck
2006-11-08 02:15:32 · answer #10 · answered by Mrs. Always Right 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋