How can I persuade my son to have his hair cut?

Question

My son is nearly 4 years old. He refuses to have his hair cut. He used to be fine with having it done but now he goes mad. Normally hes such a placid kid, but when it comes to hair cut time he fights, cries screams and its really difficult. No hairdressers will do it as they say its dangerous as he moves about and kicks up a fuss. So now I have to get his dad to hold him down while I cut it. But that makes us feel really bad, it breaks my heart to see him so upset. It started after a barber once accidentally snipped his ear. It's a shame as he has lovely hair and could be styled really nice if only he would sit still! Any ideas??

Answer 1

Your son is obviously nervous of hairdressers due to what happened to him. So its vital that you build up his confidence again and make him see that the hairdressers is not a bad place but a fun place. Ask the hairdresser if they can interact and involve your son during the process of his haircut. He could tell them where to start and where to go next. He could also be the one to tell the hairdresser what he wants doing under your guidance. You could tell him that after his haircut, you can take him to a fun place such as bowling or even just to McDonald's. He needs to know that having his haircut is fun rather than a trauma.

Answer 2

Find an old-fashioned barber shop in your area. Call them and explain the situation, and ask them if they will agree to lathering up your son's face - just like the men - while he gets his hair cut. Go to WalMart and buy one of those Nair kits that come with a no-blade "shaver". Take it with you to the barbershop for either the barber or your son to "shave" off the shaving cream. I bet your son will BEG for haircuts after this.

Personally, I would let his hair grow. I've seen plenty of little boys with long hair and I don't think there's anything wrong with it, as long as it is clean and combed. I guarantee you that by the time he starts kindergarten, he will already be aware of peer pressure, and getting his hair cut won't be so much of a struggle.

Answer 3

Rewards or consequences - it's the only thing that will work. Find a reward that will be strong enough that he will make up his own mind to get his hair cut. Tell him it's important to you, and you will bargain with him to get it done. Let him tell you something he would like to do - go fishing, ride paddle boats, simply have a picnic in the park for an afternoon. He will want something bad enough to actually WANT to get his hair cut. Some will not agree, thinking it's bribery, but I've found that the important thing is that it becomes HIS decision. Even at 4 years old, it gives him some independence and helps him make his own decisions and think for himself. That's important!

Answer 4

Sounds like he has been traumatized by the barber snipping his ear once. He's lost all trust and is afraid of getting hurt again. Talk to him about it. Get him to talk to you about what scares him about having his hair cut. Then maybe you can help him work through these fears. Tell him that you understand that he's scared and that you want to help him not to be scared. Follow his cues on this. Be patient with him and give him some time. I really wouldn't recommend holding him down anymore, that's just making his fears and anxeities even greater and he's only going to fight even harder the next time.

Answer 5

Poor little chap. Why don't you wait until he is sound asleep before doing the snipping? Much gentler way to do it.
Don't force him to have his hair cut, but next time you and Daddy go for a trim, take your little lad with you. Make sure to take his favourite book and or toy. Have him sit on your laps and talk calmly the whole time, but NOT about getting his hair cut. Once he regains his confidence, then he may even ask for his turn for a snip!!!!

Answer 6

Where we live we have a salon just for kids. They can play PS2 or watch a movie on their own screen while getting their hair cut. They also get a lollipop and get to sit in a funny car while getting it cut. We let our son's hair grow long, but get it trimmed up

Answer 7

Hi there,
This is a good guide with a step-by-step method to get your hair back http://hairagain.toptips.org

Male hair loss is the most common type of hair loss.It's caused by increased sensitivity to male sex hormones (androgens) in certain parts of the scalp, and is passed on from generation to generation. There are many factors that can attribute to hair recession or massive hair fall. You can try to regain your full head of healthy hair by following natural methods: they are cheaper, they have no side effect and very often more effective than conventional one.

As said above an interesting guide you can follow to get your hair back and prevent future hair loss without dangerous chemicals and drugs, and without expensive supplements or painful hair transplants is available on this site: http://hairagain.toptips.org
I hope it helps

Answer 8

I've read other answers and I totally DISAGREE with giving him a "reward", because ultimately the behavior is bad; you do not want to reward bad behavior, because if you do that in this situation, you are sending the child a message that he can then throw tantrums regarding other things and get a "reward" for MISbehaving...

Now, if this behavior was potentially brought on by a bad experience, I would consider changing barbers.

Ultimately, you are the adult and he is the child and you should not be persuading him to do anything; you need to take the AUTHORITY you have as his mother and use it! At this point, crying, kicking and screaming or not, you have given him the control and trust me HE KNOWS IT! He is not in a position to "refuse", because as the final authority, he has to adhere to YOUR will not his own. I totally understand, wanting to teach your child to have a voice and an opinion at an early age. But, you have to exercise "kiddie control" within logical borders and under mutually beneficial situations; your giving him a choice in this situation is giving a 4 yr old OPTIONS where as you have lost control and the situation is giving you grief. So much so, that when you take action (hold him down to cut it) you feel guilty! Children need parents, because they are not able to function on a mature, logical, and expert cognitive level alone. We are not here as parents to "negotiate" or "reward" our children into right behavior.

The bible says "spare the ROD (belt, ruler, switch) spoil the child". But, if you are more into "talking" to your child, then I would also consider, talking to him DAYS before about his upcoming hair appt. so whatever his issue is with it, he would have time to process the reality, before you all just showed up at the shop!

Answer 9

I was asked this question before by my friend about her child who didn't want his hair cut. I said 'why bother?'. It's cheaper to let it grow anyway. My friend took my advice and after 6 months his child wanted to get his hair cut anyway as people mistook him for a girl at times. Give the child his freedom and let him come to his own conclusions.

Answer 10

i've briefly read through the anwers so far and there seems to be 3 schools of thought:
1 put your foot down you are the parent
2 give him a reward
3 let him make up his own mind.

i think whilst there are times you must put your foot down for the child and make him do as he is told, i personally don't think this is one of them as it is not really that important. i think giving him a reward is also a bad idea it just gives him another tool to manipulate you with. so i go for the 3rd. let him decide.
tell him you are going to cut his hair for HIM because he can't do it himself... when he kicks up a fuss, be angry and tell him to go to his room and to come back when he is sorry. wait a week and try again... do the same if he kicks up a fuss.
by doing this all you are doing is enforcing that negative behaviour has negitive out come ... that's all.
when he finally lets you do it, be happy and suggest that you both go out to the park and ride on the swings... do not mention reward. this way... he learns that when he is good, good things seem to happen to him with out awareness of reward and payment.