Does anyone know where I can get some information on cutting?

Question

My 12 year old daughter has resorted to cutting herself instead of confiding in someone with her problems so I was wondering if anyone could give me some advice on how I can help her overcome this problem. She is generally a good kid but I am worried this is going to lead to more serious problems.

Answer 1

Self mutilation is much more prevalent in women than in men, and generally stems from a feeling of helplessness in a given situation.

Here's an article on the subject: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self_mutilation

Try to be non-judgmental and talk to your daughter. Try to find out why. Is she doing it for attention (are the marks easily visible)? Is she imitating somebody (do some of her friends do this)? Do you know how long this has gone on (are there healed scars near fresh wound?)

Above all else, you don't want to this to be an accusation. Try to avoid phrases like, "How could you do this to yourself? What were you thinking?! Are you crazy?!" You don't need to interrogate her or insult her. If your daughter is feeling isolated or depressed being forced to go to a counselor or justify her actions will only increase her feelings of distress.

Speaking with a therapist might help, but how you come to that decision is just as important as whom you choose. Also consider some therapists might look for ways to end the aberrant behavior without addressing the underlying causes. You want her to learn long-term coping strategies for a variety of stresses, not just shift her behavior to something less visible.

Try to keep communications open and realize dealing with stress is a constant effort for all ages. You know your daughter better than anyone. I apologize if this response sounds too preachy, but I've seen a lot of kids with this behavior and several parents who reacted very poorly to it. I know it's hard for both you and your child, but your daughter needs to know she can trust you and rely on you for rationale help.

Hope that helps and good luck,
Odd

Answer 2

I just ran into this problem with my 12 yr old's best friend!! My daughter hangs around with a group of intelligent, friendly, good kids. They all read, get good grades, are good to one another and never seem to get in trouble at school. And yet, one of them discovered another "cutting". They went as a group to a teacher they trusted and told her what they had discovered. The school reacted at once and called her parents...

It has been just over two weeks now and although I don't know what kind of help she is getting I know the school counselor has talked to the group and assured them that their friend is getting help and they did the absolutely right thing by telling the teacher.
She is in school everyday and I know they (the kids) are watching her and talking to her and trying to support her more than ever before.

Talk to your school, the principal, the counselor or a trusted teacher they should be able to direct you to someone who can help. It is a serious problem and you are right to worry. If you have an employee assistance program at work call them too. Don't think that this will go away without help. Good luck...my heart goes out to you and your daughter..

Answer 3

Definitely go and see your doctor and get help for her. She needs to talk about how she feels. If she does this now it won't escalate later in life and become a habit which will be difficult to break.

Let her know that you're there for her. Never forget to give her compliments, let her know how much you love her and build her self-esteem. Try and spend quality time just the two of you to build your relationship - so she'll find it easier to confide in you. Whatever you do try not to be too critical of her - about the self-harm or anything else. I'm not saying that this is you but sometimes parents have lots of aspirations for who they want their child to be that sensitive kids can feel under a lot of pressure to meet them and feel worthless if they don't.
Another possibility is that there is something pretty bad going on in her life that you don't know about. but hopefully if you can build the bonds she will tell you.

Answer 4

Any local mental health facility. They take clients on a sliding scale if your funds are tight. Otherwise, any certified counselor, psychologist or psychiatrist. Good luck. I once had that problem & I understand it completely. I did it to divert the inner pain to an outward source. I have a 7 year old daughter of my own so I really feel for you! Good luck & God bless!

Answer 5

I woudl search the web for the subject self-harm.
But be aware just reading about it won't help. Your daughter need a professional help - councelling and or visit of a psychiatrist (and maybe therapist).
Self damage is a sign of massive emotional distress and is a call for help.
I hope you'll do your best to get a proper help for your daughter and that her condition will improve! Best wishes!

Answer 6

Take her to a therapist or psychiatrist. Professionals are better at dealing with cutting.

Answer 7

1800 dont cut

Answer 8

get her to a professional ASAP! there are things that can be done for this but you have to do it now.