my boyfriend and i have been together 6 years, his family have never taken to me and treated me as part of the family the way my family treat him.
his sis got married abroad and we went. he was best man his other sis was bridesmaid, it was a small do and i was left out completely. it was all about 'family' and 'the bridal party' and i felt completely alone and worthless.
the reception is coming up and im dreading it. my friends are coming but im worried i will end up crying in the loo again because they make me feel so unworthy of them.
to get this clear i know i am more than worthy, im a pretty girl, i was the prettiest one at the wedding, my boyfreind and i are strong i just hate the way they try and make me feel like an outsider all the time especially at big functions like that.
they have tried to split us up before and trun him against me. what should i do?
2006-11-07 23:52:38 · 24 answers · asked by kiki_dees 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
im not being big headed when i say i was the prettiest, yes the bride and groom were gorgeous.
i really like them they usually treat me really nicely and have said they see me as their sister but that day it hurt more because i realsised they really didnt see me like that. im an outsider.
2006-11-08 02:04:14 · update #1
Like you said babe, you're more than worthy. Its HIS family and thats it. Not everyone is going to get on, but like you said, you and your boyfriend are strong. Ignore it, Ignore how they make you feel babe. Its probably jealousy on their part. I wouldn't let them see they upset you, you're better than that. After the reception, just keep your distance. Your friends will be there for you, so just make sure you have a good time. Don't let people like that grind you down babe. Good Luck x x x
2006-11-08 00:51:55 · answer #1 · answered by I-Love-My-Boys 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Before you go to the reception why don't you meet up with some of your friends that are going? This way you will feel more like you are going to the reception as a guest than part of the 'family'. And just remember you are allowed to leave at any time. They don't have to know you are upset you could have to dash off to look after your mother or something, just make something up. But most important don't let them know that they have upset you and just try to be the mature one by raising above it.
2006-11-07 23:58:40 · answer #2 · answered by Jo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are missing the most important thing, this is your bf's sister's special day, not yours. You declare yourself to be the "prettiest" one at the wedding, but really this title belongs to the bride. I am not condoning what his family have done to you in the past or what they will do to you in the future, but you also have the wrong attitude.
You are taking your bf for the good bits & the bad bits. His family seem to the bad bit. The fact that you are still with him, means that there must be many good bits too. Talk to him about how you feel, he is in the best position to gently remind his family that you are special to him. Otherwise, just trust in your bond together.
I hope by the time the reception comes, you can help his sister to celebrate her life bond. It is her day afterall. Good-luck.
2006-11-08 00:23:24 · answer #3 · answered by girls_lie_too_23 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You aren't being over sensitive. I can't believe that they treat you like this. At least you do have your bf's support, that must help you a bit.
The best thing to do (even though it's easier said than done) is to rise above it and be sweetness and light, laugh at all the jokes smile and get on with everyone
The best defence is a strong offence, don't let them get to you and don't loose it with them as they will know they are getting to you.
make sure your bf stays with you at the reception as much as possible to back you up, hope you have a good time
lol xxxxx
2006-11-08 00:05:31 · answer #4 · answered by lola 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with some answers you've already got and that it's a case for the green eyed monster and that they are jealous of you... and/or think that seeing as you and you bf are serious you could be taking him away from them so they see you as some sort of a threat.. which is obvious to me that that isn't the case.
Has your bf not tried to talk to them explaining how they are making you feel? and explain to them that neither of you are going anywhere so if they don't accept you in his life then we wont have any time for them anymore...!!
It is tit-for-tat and give-and-take in the whole commitment thing and it sounds as if you're doing all the giving and everyone else is taking... what about you... when are you gonna get some acceptance back and be appreciated like you deserve!!???!
xx
2006-11-08 00:08:12 · answer #5 · answered by *BURNY* 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hate to say this but do you think it's anything to do with your attitude??? "to get this clear i know i am more than worthy, im a pretty girl, i was the prettiest one at the wedding" If you're going round with a chip on your shoulder maybe that's the problem and if your boyfriend cared about you that much he would stand up to his family on your behalf.
2006-11-08 00:09:09 · answer #6 · answered by kaydee 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think it's over to your boyfriend on this one. He needs to have a quiet word with his family and say how much it hurts him and that you should be made to feel welcome. He should tell them that he is made feel welcome at your house and how would they feel if he wasn't?
He needs to say this in such a way that they don't think YOU'VE told him to say it.
Also at these functions, your boyfriend should make sure you're included eg. for family photos etc. If they won't then perhaps he should take a stand and not include himself either.
Get him to be more proactive with his family and in looking after you.
You also need to make sure you play your part. Get talking to a member of his family when they are alone at a function and be friendly even though you may not be feeling very friendly after the way they have treated you.
I hope this helps
2006-11-08 00:00:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Smile through your tears girlfriend! You hold your head up high and smile through those tears. In fact forget about those tears and you just smile. Smile your head off through the whole darn thing. Dance with everybody and anybody. Let's face it, if they all hate you anyway, you haven't got a darn thing to lose, now have you? You show those stuck up individuals who they're messing around with, that it isn't them who are better than you, but you who they are just plain jealous of! They'll want to be you by the end of that party girl.
You go, with your man on your arm and enjoy yourselves. If it helps, pretend that they are not even there. You wipe them out of existence and you and your man have a great time out together.
2006-11-08 05:34:53 · answer #8 · answered by Val G 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is you bieng sensitive but this doesn't mean they aren't a bunch of sadists - just take a deep breath and ignore them if they can't accept you then just let them get on with it and let your boyfriend know that you are going there because you love him and if his family don't like it they can lump it - many families try to control the relationships of siblings or children just to be perverse don't let them ruin your relationship for thier reasons, you said you have friends going stick with them instead and ignore his family if they can't respect you do not respectr them your relationship is with your boyfriend not his family
2006-11-08 00:02:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I'd mention it to my boyfriend and tell him the way you feel. Then if you feel like going to the wedding go, and just hang with both your friends and your boyfriend. If any of his family make a horrible comment to you or they are ignoring, try not to let it show that its getting to you and make sure that they see that you are having a good time with your friends.
2006-11-08 00:49:10 · answer #10 · answered by Baps . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋