I come from a very strict family backround and having a baby before marriage is a big sin. Im almost 7 months now (not showing) my boyfriend is very supportive and asked me to move in with him. I moved out of home a long time ago, i'm working, but that doesnt count to my parents. Where do i start and how?
2006-11-07 23:35:08 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I feel for you. And I feel your pain. I did the same thing you did. I didn't tell my parents that I was pregnant until I was 6 1/2 months with both of my kids. Alot of people don't understand, it's not the fear I telling thats eating you alive, its the guilt and shame you are feeling. But here is your solution. I wrote my parents a letter and told them. I think at this point that is the easiest way for you to tell them. Since you don't live at home write the letter and mail it to them or place it in their mailbox or place it in the door when they are not at home. They will get the letter and then come to you, this will also give them time to get their feelings and thoughts together. My parents were VERY strict to and they accepted me with open arms. Make sure you put in the letter how many months you are (because I forgot that part in my letter and I then had to face them and tell them I was almost 7 months, they almost fainted lol) and why you waited so long to tell them. Tell them why you were scared. Another part of the problem is your not showing. I had a hard time accepting my pregnancy because hey no stomach equals no baby. It was almost like it wasn't real. I think that if we both had showed our pregnancies (with the big bellies) like most women we would be or have been more acceptable to a life growing inside of us. But please write the letter soon, so you can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy with your family by your side. That is one thing that I do regret. I bet after you tell them your belly is going to miraculously pop out over night. Mine did. Everything will be fine, trust me write the letter. It's the easiest way for you to tell them.
Good luck to you and your boyfriend...baby too!!
2006-11-08 00:12:59 · answer #1 · answered by sweetie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
First, take a deep breath and begin thinking calmly. I know it is easier said than done, but it still is the only right thing to do !
It is clear that even though you moved out of home, your parents are very dear to you - you love them, and their opinion and feelings matter a lot to you. Else you wouldnt have posed this query.
Secondly, the fact that you are pregnant is a fact. It will not go away if you dont talk about it. At some time, ur folx will get to know. It may be a bigger shock if the knowledge came through another route, than if you calmly, lovingly explained things to them - either on the phone, or better, in person, with your boyfriend with you. You love them - make it easier for them - even if it means they temporarily hate you, or are emotionally disturbed. Remember, they love you as much or more than you love them
Thirdly, there is NOTHING really sinful about a pregnancy. The only sinful things are those done with a hurtful intent, and even they are OK if you ammend yourself later.
So stop worrying, muster up the courage, rehearse your lines if necessary, use a mature uncle / aunt who can hold your parents if the need arises, and just talk about your life and plans and pregnancy with your parents.
You will be so very surprised how eventually everything turns out ok. That is the way of the world !
All the best :)
R
2006-11-07 23:59:12 · answer #2 · answered by c_ravi55 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give your parents the benifit of the doubt. If they were strict with you, it is probably because they love you very much. If they do, then they may be disappointed and upset by your premature pregnancy, but they will love you regardless and they will want the very best for you. Go by yourself over to their house some evening when they are not busy, and sit down and tell them that you love them both very much and you know they raised you with certain values, and you have tried to keep those values, but that you went a little too far in your relationship with your boyfriend and now you are pregnant. Tell them that you understand how disappointed they must be in you, and that you are sorry for disappointing them, but that you want to keep this baby and that you and the father want to move in together and raise the baby (if you have any intention on marrying soon, I would tell them this too) and that you would very much like for them to be a part of this baby's life.
Allow them to vent their disappointment, but don't sit there and take all kinds of yelling and screaming and name calling and accusations against you and/or the boyfriend. If this happens, get up and leave and tell them if they change their minds and want to be a part of yours and the baby's lives, then they can call you.
Do not put yourself through alot of stress over this as it can affect the remainder of your pregnancy and possibly cause an early delivery or a miscarriage.
2006-11-08 01:54:01 · answer #3 · answered by lildragonlexi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you aren't going to be able to keep this from them for much longer. You should tell them. It is one thing when a parent says something like that, and it is another when it happens to their kid. Of course you should have done this sooner. Whether they accept what has happened or not, this is not the issue. The issue is that their daughter is pregnant with their Grand-baby. So whether they like it or not, they are going to be Grandparents. And please if they bring up about it being a sin, how can they say that? Especially since the Mother of Jesus was an unwed Mother. H-E-L-L-O! And having the blessing of a child is not a sin. Congrats on your new arrival soon.
2006-11-07 23:45:59 · answer #4 · answered by ncamedtech 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Might I suggest a visit to them and let them know that you are wanting a serious talk. Maybe a phone call to pre warn them ahead that there is something tht you desperately wish to talk to them about. You are pregnant and the baby is not going to go away so put your best foot forward and tell them.
The worst thing that can happen. I dont' think that they will turn their backs on you after all they are your parents.
Do you have a good relationship with them.
Staying away for the time that you are tells me that its been a long time since you and them have had a quality time conversation.
Just relax and let the moments flow
Just thing they are going to soon be grandparents.
Take care of you through it all. Your the one that is most important at the moment.
2006-11-07 23:39:43 · answer #5 · answered by Spirit_Rain_3-SunShineAries 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don;t get married just because of a baby. Only Mary if you truly love each other and you are compatible. As for your parents you must tell them. Let them know ahead of time that you know and understand there feelings on pregnancy before marriage but you are only Human and you made a mistake. Whats the worse that can happen, they get mad and disown you? Even if they do it will only be for a short time and they will hopefully want to make good with you to be a part of their grand babies life.
2006-11-08 00:06:16 · answer #6 · answered by tinymight78 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going to have to tell them...and you need to do it SOON, you have already waited to long. Now they only have 2 months to adjust to the idea of you having a baby, rather than 9. If you are going to be a parent I think its about time you grow up and act like an adult...stop fearing your parents.
2006-11-07 23:38:59 · answer #7 · answered by BiancaVee 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well honey I think it's about time you told them! Their going to be grandparents in 2 months, so it gives them 2 months to prepare! It is your life and as long as you and your boyfriend are happy, that's all that matters. Yeah, their gonna be p i s s e d with you, but I reckon in time they will get over it. What choice will they have?! And they see their precious grandchild for the first time, their heart is going to melt! It isn't going to be easy, but you have to do the righ thing. You really wont be able to hide it any longer! Good luck to you and your sweet family!
2006-11-08 00:25:01 · answer #8 · answered by melfromhell001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every day you delay is postponing the inevitable. One of two things will: they will banish you, or they will accept the decision
What is stopping a marriage at city hall to make it legal in their eyes? You do not wnat to tell them after you deliver, as it make a scene at the hospital.
You and (married) boyfriend sit down and tell them, relying on each other's strength to get through this moment
2006-11-07 23:39:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well in a couple of months, it will be blindingly obvious.
Just tell them. Go round there with your boyfriend. Better yet, take them out to dinner. That way they can't make a scene.
If you are mature enough to be a mother, surely you are mature to deal with your parents.
2006-11-07 23:38:41 · answer #10 · answered by Katya-Zelen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋