My boyfriend & I have been together for 2 yrs now & have been living together most of that time. We plan to get married & apart from the usual niggles, are really happy.
My problem is his parents. They have a 'family portrait' in their house which features the four of them along with my boyfriends ex. This really upsets me, especially since they dont have a single photo of me & my boyfriend displayed. He has tried talking to them, & explained how I feel, but they refuse to take it down, so I am refusing to go to their house.
Am I being unreasonable
2006-11-07 22:44:48 · 17 answers · asked by listen_to_me!!! 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Yes...I think so. Show them love and effort to get along with them and in time they may come to love you or atleast get along with you. You should not force your boyfriend into a situation like this because it hurts him to choose between people that he loves. Atleast make an effort, and I promise that he will love you for it. It never hurts to try as long as you examine your heart and make an honest effort. I am saying a prayer for you!
2006-11-07 22:48:33 · answer #1 · answered by GodsGrl4Real 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no your not being unreasonable but trying to get somebody to take down a picture in their home is not going to be easy so I would ignore their rude actions and tell them you think it is a wonderful picture of them all its a shame when you have a child that they won't be in the picture at all because they are showing you that you are not part of their picture at all by refusing to replace the family picture just because you can. My mother in law did the same thing and after she got the point guess what the ex girlfriend didn't seem to matter to me be cause I got the guy and have kept him for 30 yrs which really has been a burr in his mo ma's side lol good luck dear don't stress over her stupidity you got the guy keep him well.
2006-11-07 23:01:10 · answer #2 · answered by yahoo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes and no.
I would talk to other family members that they value and you value and set a meeting at a neutral place and talk about it.
Don't do that at on their turff because It looks like they might be un resonable and they are comfortable on their own ground.
In my opinion you should try to get this worked out and know exactly where both parties stand. What would happen if something really major happened. Would they be by your side? Trust, love , respect and family doesn't seem like a pretty picture right now.
They do need to know how both of you feel. But remember, you can't force them to feel good about you or your boyfriend. You have to find out what & why they are thinking that that way.
2006-11-07 22:56:11 · answer #3 · answered by Robert Miller 95670 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand were you are coming from, I would feel the same way and I think it is very selfish of his family. To me they come across as being thoughtless, is it not obvious to them that you would feel this way. Why dont you and your BF book a photographer to have a new portrait done to replace the old one. then they would have no excuse for not taking down the old portrait. Have it done as a christmas present or something for your BF parents.
2006-11-07 22:49:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
because it is something so small i want to say,,yes,,you are BUT,,its not that simple is it,,the fact him and his ex have split up now makes that 'family' portrait obsolete,it is rather a waste of time them even having it up,she is no more and keeping it up is rather disrespectful to you and their son,,personally i think it better you say nothing to them anymore about it and get your boyfriend to state HE doesn't want to see it up anymore,,that HE wont visit anymore if they dont remove the picture,,if they want to keep it ,,fair enough,,(tho why i can not imagine) but for all your sakes,,he wants it off the wall as the picture is no longer correct.they are his parents and the fact they have pictures up should mean something about how they feel about him so if they love him and want to carry on seeing him,,they should take it down,,i mean ,what if you and he were to get pregnant,,have a family and in between this tiny war stopped them being any part of that,,they need to consider these things because his love for you may cause his love for them to diminish if you and he are going to be married.
2006-11-07 22:56:30 · answer #5 · answered by lex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are being unreasonable. Now, after you get married and are the new daughter in law, have a portrait of you and your husband taken and give it to the parents, then suggest that they have a new "family" pic taken.
2006-11-08 00:39:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relax, family means more to them than the ex g/f does. My mother has a family portrait that has my ex in it. She thinks more of my brothers, my kids and me than she does my ex. That picture in her house is not an issue.
2006-11-07 23:19:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could get a nice photo of you and your boyfriend and present it to them as a gift and let it go. It is their house and your not one of the family, I wouldn't make an issue out of it, it shows your lack of dignity.
2006-11-07 22:49:57 · answer #8 · answered by cowboydoc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a critical time to go through a situation like this when u r just a girl friend not even engaged. if u'll keep forcing your friend maybe in a rage he'll kick u out of his life for disturbing his life with his family. instead of going through arguments on a potrait try to make your positive potrait in their minds with lots of love n care.
2006-11-07 23:58:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know the feelings. It really hurts no matter what. But it is part of history I guess you just have to ignore it, otherwise you will never stay foot to your in-laws and that would cause a little drama.
2006-11-07 23:54:19 · answer #10 · answered by notProudatAll 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋