All mums & moms - help me.?

Question

My toddler who recently turned 3 years old has become increasingly annoying. She wants to sleep with me and her father in the same bed, goes to bed very very late (she is still trying to play when the adults have gone to sleep), wakes up before the rooster and demands breakfast (she sleeps much less than most humans), does not allow me to close doors, she eats her mucous but wont eat anything remotely healthy, cries and whines, points out sores that are months old and demands they be kissed.

While this may seem like an attempt for attention, she already gets plenty of time together. I'm exhausted and I don't know what else to do.

I love my child but I believe I may have to start introducing other forms of discipline like smacking. Currently she has time out and I've even tried ignoring her.

I don't want to ever regret my decisions. I really need guidance from other parents with experience

Answer 1

Sounds like she is playing you like a fiddle. I have a degree in early childhood development, and have 3 children of my own. Remember YOU ARE THE PARENT YOU ARE THE BOSS! The key is to setting a distinct set of boundries, and enforcing punishment without giving in! No matter how much she cries whines or rebels!
When my children hurt themselves and werent gushing blood, or upon inspection had nothing broken, I tell them either we need to cut off the limb with the injury and send it away to get fixed (scares em) or that they are fine and rough and tough and all that stuff and tell them they can make it better by themselves like a big boy/girl.
Put healthy food in front of her. If she doesnt eat it don't give her anything else and explain that she must eat her meal or eat nothing. Believe me, she'll fast for a while, but when she gets hungry she'll eat what is in front of her. I know it hurts as a mother to do some of these things.
Ignoring somethings is fine. For example foul language, the more attention you draw to it the more apt most are to do it.
Time outs are a crock. Id rather sit and watch some one else fix my mistakes or messes too. MAKE HER DO IT even if it requires your physically taking her by the hand and grasping the object or cloth to clean up. Also.
Do not let her know she has you riled. She wants a reaction shes feeding on it and is amused by it. Keep calm use a stern voice make her look you in the eye and dont ask TELL her you NEED her to stop or whatever it is you require from her. If she plays the eye closing game wait and hold her firmly until she gives up.
You cannot be the one to give up ever. Sounds harder than it is. Give it a week or so. If you need any more advice feel free to email me [e-mail]

Answer 2

I agree with Pamela. Last summer my children had very similar sleeping patterns. She is sooo overtired she is acting out, and you are so overtired you can't think straight.

For my two, I called a parenting hotline (at 11pm in desperation), and they said it was important to have a bed time routine. After quizzing my bed time routine, they couldn't find fault and said that sometimes no matter how good the routine kids just don't play the game..so to speak.

So we decided to think outside the box, which is what I am still doing. I give them dinner, quiet time, bath time, story time, and bed time. During the phase you are talking about, Between story time and bed time, I gave my children a torch and book, showed them how to read a book under the covers, and gave them 15 minutes. Not once did they last the fifteen minutes.

My children get bored with things after about 3 months, so they have changed to relaxation music, kids music (bear in the big blue house), and now they are onto children's relaxation cd, with a little time for reading a book to themselves. I know they are getting bored when it doesn't work anymore.

Once you get the sleep under control, everything else should fall into place.

This has worked brilliantly, a bit like reverse pschyology. Because the children think they have won because you are giving them something, and you have won because they sleep. I let my children chose the book or cd, that way they feel they have more control, and a choice like this doesn't really affect the routine.

Answer 3

Be very firm and consistant. Pick an earlier bedtime. When she gets out of bed put her back straight away, do not give in to her demands when she climbs out of her bed. My toddler did this for weeks she got out of bed i put her back at least 6 times everynight. Yes there were a lot of tears but it finally worked. If she sleeps during the day cut this out. Maybe start a new routine and wear her out before bed & maybe a diet change could help. Be firm do not give in it may take a few weeks. Good Luck.

Answer 4

sound to me like the main problem is the sleeping she seems grumpy and irritable because she doesn't get enough sleep.. make a bed time routine and stick to it.. if she gets out of bed keep putting her back don't engage in conversation with her just say bed time and put her back .... she will fight it for a few nights but will soon learn bed time means bed time and I guarantee once you've wont that battle it will be easy to control her during the day as she wont be so grumpy cause she has had her sleep. good luck

Answer 5

I personally don't think hitting a child is the correct answer,it teaches them to hit also. You should get her in a bed time routine like reading a book before bed and say prayers.It sounds like she has a lot of energy so during the day you should wear her down with excersing. Run jump and play.

Answer 6

i'm curious how smacking is going to help - except allow you to whack out your frustrations.

first - she can't allow or disallow you to do anything. second, she is still of the normal age to sleep with her parents. it's normal, natural, and healthy. i have a son who stays up very late and it is exhausting. his body clock is different from everyone else in the family and this is very challenging.

the book - how to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk may help you, in that it offers a program for retaining your authority as an adult in the house while encouraging your child to communicate, cooperate, and learn self-discipline.

love the book.

again, don't see how whacking your kid will do anything but relieve your frustration and then make you feel guilty.

Answer 7

smacking is not a good thing, you dont have to resort to it.

your toddler is playing you, and you are letting her, she is ruling you, you have to set what boundaries you want and you have to stick by them, she will resist, but in order for you to control her behaviour you have to set the standards.

so you have to change how you treat her cos sure as hell she wont change her attitude unless you do.

I dont mean to sound harsh, but it is up to you. you have to tell her the consequences of what shes doing and you have to do it, or she will never respect what you want.

if you havent got her on side by the time she is 7, then your life will be dictated by this child and will be harder to control

Answer 8

You are the adult, set bounderies and stand by them. She goes to bed when she is told to and she will stay in bed. The whining, etc., ignore her and when needed, tap her behind.

Answer 9

she is doing this to be in control. The best discipline you can give her is show her now who the boss is. If you say no then mean no and stick to it the more you give in the worse it will become....take back your parental control...good luck

Answer 10

have you tried reasoning? does she have any fear? i know it sounds terrible but you can use this as a "threat" to scare her/him like monster in the closet...do really put your FOOT down and don't let out when you do because kids are smart..if they sense that you give up because you love them they will start ignoring you and IT WILL get worse
from one mother to another