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things are getting worst between me and my bf,the aguemnt the other night about me seeing a male doctor about my health was quite bad that my bf was going to brake up with me.
iv done some bad things in the past to hurt him like cheat on him and i lied about taking my birth contol pill.i said sorry and i promised never to do it again,also i lied about my birth control cause i throught he might be angry with me.

iv told him that but he just said on the phone that he doesnt trust me but he still loves me,i realy dont wont us to end but im not sure how to make things better,and i do feel realy bad wot i did to him and im willing to try make it up to him some how.

2006-11-07 20:16:47 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

23 answers

You two obviously have communication and trust issues!

You need to stop lying to him. He can decide if he is willing to risk you repeating that obnoxious behaviour.

He needs to trust that your going to a male doctor is not wrong! There are simply more male physicians availalble that female physicians.

Rebuilding the trust will take time - you both need to decide if it is worth investing your valuable time.

Good Luck!

2006-11-07 20:28:43 · answer #1 · answered by bc_is_the_place_to_be 4 · 0 0

The best thing you can do is to accept the fact that you have probably blown it. Then avoid having a boyfriend at all for a while while you strive to become a better person. Then you might stand a chance of having a worthwhile relationship in the future. You will never ever have a decent relationship unless you embrace honesty because no decent sensible man wants a liar and once you have abused someones trust it takes a lot of time and effort to get it back, if you get it back at all.

2006-11-07 20:43:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Words are'nt going to help. If he cheated on you an then said he was sorry, would you trust him with no problem? You can't have a reltionship without trust. It's a heck of a lot easier to loose someones trust then to gain it. You lost his trust by actions, now you must also use actions to gain it back. forget about what happened in the past and don't bring it up or change the subject if he does. whats done is done, just show your love and faithfulness and you'll win back his trust, it's going to take some time though

2006-11-07 20:35:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Basically what he is saying is that he does love you but he doesnt love your lies and this is what is tearing your relationship apart...
One thing ive learnt is that liers cant truly love because they are always being false about something and that (depending on how good they are at lyeing) because of lying and being false you cant destiguish between true love and affection or want/lust/infactuation.

If the foundations of your relationship is strong and you have good communication you may be able to work through this...
HOWEVER a couple of things you need to do first... (of course only if your bf is willing to do: -

Give him space to calm down and acknowledge what you have done is wrong and show genuine remorse (dont crowd him and seem needy guys hate that)

Write down a list of ALL the things you have done which you have done wrong and ask yourself why you have done this!!! Talk them all through with him.. say yes i lied about htis but i did its because or i get insecure because!!!

EXPECT this relationship to be over and expect to learn a great lesson!!! If your relationship IS meant to be he will calm down and realise that you have admitted your lies and asked his forgiveness and show willingness to change your ways... this in itself is a humble thing to do... not everyone is big enough to admitt there wrong doings...

and remember only you can decide the person you want to be in life and only you can change your future paths...

I hope this finds you well ....

2006-11-07 20:46:53 · answer #4 · answered by Cat ( " , ) 3 · 0 0

What should you do now? Well for a start thank your lucky stars that your bf loves you so much that he forgave you cheating on him!!! And lying too!!!! Don't know how you managed to keep him this far.

OK, so, try this. Write him a letter telling him how sorry you are and how much you love him. I find men don't always listen, but once you get their attention in a letter, they will finish reading it. Explain to him WHY you did the things you did, and that you will NEVER do it again. Tell him you know you don't deserve him, and that he is the most wonderful, understanding, kindest etc etc etc bf you could ever wish for. (suck up to him) As you write, it will flow out of you don't worry. Tell him you don't want to lose him, and are willing to try anything to prove your committment to him, even going for Couples Counselling if necessary. Good luck. And if you do get him back, don't screw it up again!

2006-11-07 20:35:54 · answer #5 · answered by dragonfly 4 · 0 0

The best thing you can do is showing him that you have changed if he is willing to still be with you and still loves you then you need to have a heart to heart talk tell him you want him to trust you and what can you do for him to do so i mean in all relationship communication and trust are the most important thing

2006-11-07 20:22:55 · answer #6 · answered by dodgerchik 3 · 0 0

properly at the start ensure which you do no longer instigate issues. it particularly is honest to declare that he does not deserve YOU, yet i does no longer have reported he does not should have intercourse with you... even nonetheless its actual. i stumble on it to be greater effective to declare he does not deserve you as a individual. there is no longer a fabulous deal right here approximately what your doing, so i'm uncertain if it is all him or if it particularly is partly your fault. attempt to make confident that what you're doing won't reason issues. After that, is the undeniable fact that he's no longer prepared to artwork via your guy's issues. it particularly is an crucial area of each and every effectual courting. you ought to attempt to tell him that in the time of spite of the matters which you 2 are having good now, the undeniable fact that he's no longer prepared to gently reconcile with you is adequate reason to break up and that your courting could in no way artwork long term, as i'm able to promise that no count who you opt for for to marry you ought to have some style of fights each and every in some cases. So attempt to get him to gently artwork via those issues and have a severe talk with you. If he's no longer prepared to try this, or can't, he ought to easily no longer be mature adequate for you or he purely isn't the impressive guy and you ought to head on. it particularly is often properly worth a shot to attempt and save it nonetheless...

2016-10-03 10:03:07 · answer #7 · answered by schugmann 4 · 0 0

the two of you sound like a disaster.

He can't trust you and you have given him reason to do so. His being mad about you going to a male doctor well....that is downright crazy of him.

No matter how much you two love each other you best grow up up before you make the relationship long term you best both change.

If you feel you have to make up for it then you don't know much about relationships.

Best you need to be on your own than in a relationship that is so very dramatic.

2006-11-07 20:28:01 · answer #8 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0 0

If your boyfriend is going to break up with you because you see a male doctor you need to break up with that jackass. It sounds like its not the healthiest relationship either. I'm not trying to sully your man, but he doesn't sound like the catch of the day either. Don't feel guilty because you made a couple mistakes, nobodys perfect. Honestly though, a relationship surrounded by lies, cheating and mistrust can't be good for you. good luck at your appt.

2006-11-07 20:29:57 · answer #9 · answered by sonnystylez 2 · 0 0

Love can overcome anything. You simply have to gain his trust back which takes a lot of time and you not doing anymore shady sh it,
Being brutally honest. See how your love holds up. But it's his call! He needs to decide if this is something that he wants to put a lot of time into. It's not all about finding someone you can live with it's about finding someone you can't live without!

2006-11-07 20:33:11 · answer #10 · answered by MedicineWoman 4 · 0 0

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