Is this true love or should I just move on? How can I make it on my own? Do you think I'm being selfish?

Question

I been dating this guy for 3 years, we have child together.I was young and dumb, and got pregant at age 20. He was 25. At first life was great, know worrys at all. Then I notice how jealous he is. He don't really have any friends. The few friends I had he finds something wrong with them. Not like their all pretant, but who is he to judge. He does'nt like me to go out, with out hem.(like clubbing or hanging with the girls.) One best friend I have that's a guy, he thinks I was cheating with him.I talked to he cousin, and he said his late girlfriend did't want to settle down so they spit up


For a minute he didn't work so we fight about that. It's like what every he does isn't good enoug. He's a great daddy but not a fiance. I guess most of the stuff I say about him sounds bad, but that's the things that bother me plus there true
Sometime I feel like this is it. Can I do better I don't think if your in love you shouldn't want or feel for someone else.I made my bed so lay in it

Answer 1

Your question brought tears to my eyes. Your life sounds like mine when I was 20. My so called boyfriend and I are 5 years apart also and we have a child together. Your fiance sounds just like mine years ago. The life you are living is a hard one, I can feel your pain. I left my boyfriend several times because of his controlling crazy ways. My friends werent good enough, he didnt like me to go out, he was jealous of anything and everything. And he accused me of sleeping with anybody and everybody (male, female, dog, cat, if I looked at it I was sleeping with it). He couldnt hold down a job either. He was a good father also. Remember men like this make good fathers because they are CONTROLLING. I used to think is this all there is for me like you do but trust me its not. You can take your child and raise it by yourself. I raised 2 kids at your age by myself. Trust me this man is only going to drag you down. Here I am years 15 years later and I am STILL going back and forth with the same man. Only difference is now he has changed he is no longer that controlling jerk he used to be. But it took 15 years to get here. And that is only because he matured in some areas but in other areas he is still a jerk. We dont live together so why am I holding on? I am working on myself now to figure that out. My question to you is. Do you want to wait 15 years like me for this man to finally treat you with the respect you deserve? I can see your like me, you need to save yourself from yourself. I thought I was in love, funny thing is I still do, but I also know what is best for me. Men like this never change. Mine changed his controlling ways but only because he had no choice. I have figured out through the years that guys like this are always going to find a way to hurt you. The hurt never stops. Don't say you made your bed so you should lie in it. No one deserves the kind of treatment you receive. I really think you will be able to make a good life for you and you child. I did. I am successful and have 2 great kids. Funny thing is now "jerk" wants to settle down. But the past is some thing you never forget. Especially when he is still doing little stupid things that hurt me. Like I said the hurt never stops. I would love to give you strength and advice to help you through this because I can sense there is probally more to your story just like their is more to mine. Dont think you are being selfish. That was my problem years ago. I put everyones happiness before my own. Only sacrifice you need to make is for your child, remember that. Your child needs to be raised in a loving argue free environment. It is going to be hard. Beause this guy has ahold of your mind, more than a hold on your heart.

Answer 2

If the emotion wasn't there, you would not consider that inclination. The emotion derives from the ones moments of reasoning - the ones cut up seconds after any individual does anything wherein you quit and consider - identifying why what is going on is going on the way in which it's - and the frame reacts strongly to what an extra character is aside of. It has a tendency to powerfully lean toward what you understand the opposite character believes is the truth. Which is why expectancies of the ones for your atmosphere appear to be more potent than you're. You'll continuously generally tend to turn out them proper most often. Your atmosphere on this approach is a lot more strong than you - till you rather set brain to going the opposite path. Which is why many say that love is past emotion. The unstated or mysterious rationale for that is as a result of that It's within the atmosphere, and thereby past alternative. But the loophole here's you decide upon your instant atmosphere. Your ideas and who you pass wherein with at any principal factor in time.

Answer 3

Where I live after living with a man for 6 months you are considered his wife but usually we say partner .So thinking as a fiance is half your problem after a year or two or three years you really get to know this person and it may be a bit stormy in the relationship if you wanted to go clubing and all that singles do its a bit late now .He will most likely mature out of it but can you thats what you need to ask yourself do you want to be married or a single mum with not much help just guy's hitting on you for sex .Your choice sweetheart you have to change too if you want him to change .

Answer 4

Love is supposed to FEEL GOOD and MAKE YOU HAPPY!! You need to find a man that you can have a fair and loving PARTNERSHIP with!! You have a child that needs you AND daddy--but the way he acts, you'll be absolutely MISERABLE!! You are warned in ADVANCE! This relationship won't work in the long run! Your child can know and love Daddy, whether or NOT he lives with you! He isn't trusting, and doesn't sound mature. FORGET MARRYING THIS GUY! Your child deserves a happy, healthy Mommy! (NOT a suffering mother--which you WOULD BE!!) God WILL bless you with the RIGHT GUY! When it FEELS GOOD, it's God's WILL, and what's RIGHT for you and your precious baby!! Be patient! This feels BAD! Don't do it!!!

Answer 5

well it sounds like your just venting...but really if you love him it wouldnt matter about going out with the girls, or having best friends or friends... he should be your best friend, he should be the one you want to go out with, I mean why go out if you have a child... do stuff as a family,... whats the need to go out to a club and spend money for when you can go to chuck e cheese.. jeez arent the smiles on your kids face enough?? Are you lusting for someone else and arent in love?? And maybe hes like that because hes been hurt before....and is scared of losing you!! you need to communicate better with each other ... start talking more.. jeez be grown ups!!!!

Answer 6

Ask him if he wants your relationship to work? He is smothering you and that is why you are miserable. You need a life besides him and the child, it is kind of like brainwashing and it is abuse. If he wants to make it work he will need to understand you are a person not a possession, if he is hitting you you need to leave men who hit can't stop without professional help. Please be careful and good luck. If he is willing you could fall back in love.

Answer 7

U got ma condolences, but I don't know what to say... just answered for the pints.

Answer 8

Move on. you can find what your looking for. never settle for less.

Answer 9

Do you LOVE him? That is the most important question.

Answer 10

follow youre heart, no use both of you being unhappy ,move on