tell me what you think of this poem?

Question

i made so what do you think is it good or bad on a scale from 1-10 what is it? and how can i make it better?






~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


im not gonna lie
the first day i saw you
your kyoote smile caught
my eye.you were the
sweetest nicest person
i had ever met
it seemed like a dream maybe
the greatest one yet
yeah we went out
but why didnt it work?
was it me or was it you?
Am i a fool for giving up a man like you
i rember the day you told me i
when i smile it makes you smile
you had me on the phone about to cry
and at that moment everything
in my life was worth while
but baby why? why do you act
like im not live
was everything you said a lie?
o if i could go back in time
id go back to the second when i lost you
and id fix the mistakes we made.
i always fill like im almost over you
but it drives me insane when i hear you name
beacuse every feeling i ever had for you
comes backand its just pure pain !

Answer 1

Hope this helps to make it better keeping to your context ...........:)
nice and touching poem = 7 out of 10 (I write poems and got a few awards too)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

im not gonna lie
the first day i saw you,
your kyoote smile caught my eye.

you were the sweetest
nicest person i had ever met,
it seemed like a dream maybe
the greatest one yet.

yeah we went out
but why didnt it work?
was it me or was it you?
Am i a fool for giving up a man like you?

you said my smile makes you smile,
today on the phone you made me cry,
and at that moment everything
in my life was worthwhile?

but baby why? why do you act
like im not alive,
was everything you said a lie?

o if i could go back in time
id go back to the second before i lost you,
and id fix the mistakes we made
so all would be well with me and you.

i always feel like im almost over you
but it drives me insane when i hear your name,
because every feeling i ever had for you
comes back and its just pure pain !

=================================
Am i a fool for giving up a man like you?
id go back to the second before i lost you,
=================================

You gave him up or you lost him???

Answer 2

It reflects the pain the writer has undergone in losing her love.
I would give you a 7 on 10.

You could probably restructure the poem into convenient paragraphs.

Answer 3

try something a little more broad and not so specific to the situation make sense?

hearts are broken
tears are shed
and only a single word is said
one more touch a single embrace
one last look at your face
one word ends it all
any heart can break big or small
one last smile one more glance
and so ends our romance
hearts are broken
tears are shed
and only a single word was said


see what i mean, more broad not so many I's and you's
i am a writer trust me ;) keep trying you can always improve

Answer 4

It's a 4 at best. I suggest that you start over and add some words of feeling like angry words. It sounds like you are just talking not so much writting a poem

Answer 5

i'll give u 5 out of 10 bcoz it has go too many big words and its a bit hard to understand. can u make it a bit easy to read and polite

Answer 6

It was ok. About 5. The poem doesnt say anything you have learned from your experience with that fool.

Answer 7

I hate poems

Answer 8

........very, very good,......but if you've just ended it with a boy,. you should move on, and check out the chat-line's, to get yuh self a new one.......

Answer 9

too long but i'm sure is nice :)

Answer 10

beautiful...

;)