A distant relative died and I made a donation to the university where he worked although his family did not suggest any memorial contributions be made. I donated online and the form did not ask for his family's address to send an acknowledgement. Would it be tacky for me to mention the donation in the sympathy card?
For example, "Dear Cousins, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. He contributed so much to the world. A donation to University X has been made in his memory. With deepest sympathy, Your Cousin".
2006-11-07 19:38:52 · 16 answers · asked by NightOwl 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Reply to 'the economist': No it's not for recognition as in "look at what I did". That's exactly the sentiment I want to avoid.
My reason for wanting to mention it is because if someone did that for my deceased loved one, I would appreciate knowing about it. Usually the organization sends a notice to the family, but in my case they don't.
2006-11-07 19:57:10 · update #1
I think that they would greatly appreciate that. I think that it should be re-worded, though. Perhaps mention why you chose that educational institution and why you chose to make a donation to a university.
If he was an alumni of that school and donated time and money to it, you could say something along the lines of:
Knowing that your dad attended University X and held a great fondness for it, I have made a donation to the establishment, in his memory.
Hope that helps you in writing your card and my sympathies for the loss of your relative.
2006-11-07 19:44:19 · answer #1 · answered by readysteadystop 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think its tacky at all, as you mentioned in your additional notes you would like to know if someone had made a thoughful contribution on behalf of a relative. I am the same, my grandfather died of prostate cancer and I would have been very pleased to receive sympathy cards with detail that they had donated to the cancer council.....similar situation I think...
I think you've done a kind and thoughful act. Good on you.
2006-11-07 23:15:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would not find this tacky if I received it, and I would not consider your statement as looking for recognition. I would consider that you have done this from your heart as a contribution in memory of said deceased. I would consider this a very loving act. just my opinion. God bless
2006-11-07 23:05:02 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do not think it is tacky at all.
When my parents died it gave me some comfort to know that others thought enough of my parents to contribute in their memory to different organizations.
It was good for me to realize the other lives my parents had touched.
2006-11-07 19:56:01 · answer #4 · answered by Axel M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, that's not tacky at all. It would be something that would at least be a bright spot during a difficult time.
That said, there are families out there where you can't do anything "right."
2006-11-07 19:40:47 · answer #5 · answered by TrainerMan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The way you've worded it is fine, and would probably be greatly appreciated by the recipients. No, it's not tacky to mention a memorial donation.
2006-11-07 19:42:14 · answer #6 · answered by solarius 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it is tacky. However, the question is not that if it is tacky or not but if the family could have used the money more.
2006-11-07 19:43:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that's a beautiful way to honor his life. Good for you!
2006-11-07 19:40:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think you should definately mention it...
it's like sending flowers...no-one would even think of not signing their name to the card
2006-11-08 03:10:19 · answer #9 · answered by SNAP! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that is a very gracious. Not tacky at all.
2006-11-07 19:43:22 · answer #10 · answered by Star 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋