I haven't had a longterm relationship since the guy is always always putting sex into the equation,and I know for a fact that I'm only going to sleep with the guy if I am married to him. Sex changes the dynamic of the relationship, and I believe that there are times when the physical part can dominate the entire relationship, when in fact there are many elements that go into a personally and spiritually growing relationship, aside from sex.
Also guys are put off after a few dates when they find out that they will not be able to sleep with me.
2006-11-07 18:47:24 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Interesting question, it was straight to the point and heartfealt. I have always thought that sex is not necessary in a relationship. There are so many other ways that you can bond that are more important. That is the problem with my relationship, even after all these years, just the other day I figured out we have great sex but NO communication. Its like a light went off in my head, why am I having sex with someone who cant even be open and honest with me. I want to obstain from sex just so I can start thinking clearly and start making good, smart decisions for myself in this so called relationship that I for some reason keep running back to. Sex before marriage is not only wrong but it totally destroys a relationship. When I was younger, I used to always say I would never have sex until a was married, and I wish I would have stuck by my morals and values as a women. Looking back at my life before sex I still feel a sense of something lost, after sex you are not the same person, you are different. When you bring sex into your life and relationship, your whole value as a women changes. Sex messes with your self esteem, well being etc... It alters your personality and who you are totally as a women. That is why the men you have dated are not sticking around long enough to get to know the real you because they have had sex before and they are not thinking clearly. You on the other hand have not had sex so you have a clear mind to know what you want. Keep waiting, there will be a guy who will wait also and have the same values and morals as you. Trust me he is out there. You are right sex changes the dynamic of the relationship, and it can dominate a relationship. That is exactly how I have been feeling in my relationship. But sometimes us as women we mistake SEX for LOVE. And guys know this. There is so much more that forms a secure relationship. Please remain strong in your search for the right guy. Someone who you can bound with on a spiritual level, not the physical. Because once you take away the physical without first setting the ground for the spiritual...you will be like me, feeling empty and always trying to repair something that continues to break. Once sex comes into play and you have not set that solid foundation with the person you are with, you will never be able to fully bound. I admire you so much, stand your ground...It is a blessing to know that there are still women out there who value their body. I have a daughter and I can only pray that she does the same.
2006-11-07 19:50:22 · answer #1 · answered by sweetie 2 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Having sex before marriage can lead you to make the wrong decisions . If the the relationship is lousy, and the sex is great, what do you have ? You should have a good relationship before you have sex . There's nothing wrong with waiting until you're married to have sex . If a man really loves you, he'll wait for you . Are you a religious person ? You should find a preacher to take your side . If you can say "Reverend Williams" or "Father Berhow" says people should wait until they're married to have sex, that might help you out . You should decide what you really believe in and stick to it . Good luck and I hope this helps .
2014-11-26 18:44:04 · answer #2 · answered by AL1961 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it's not necessarily 'necessary'. If you have a bad relationship and don't have empathy than the sex won't be as good as it could be. Believe it or not sex isn't just physical in a long term relationship. Having sex brings trust into the equation. Sex can be very spiritual. It bonds you closer together on so many different levels.
For some people it is necessary. For you it isn't, it's going to be harder for you to find a guy just because you have very high morals that you require your man to meet. So just be patient and maybe one day you'll find Mr. Right. What is necessary is that you understand and meet each others needs. If the guy wants sex and you don't, then you aren't meeting each others needs.
2006-11-07 19:18:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Some will be put off if you don't put out, some won't it... it depends on the guy.
No, it is not necissary. It is your choice, and you've made a smart one. Although people say that you're missing out...etc. You aren't. Once you get married you can have all the sex you want, and not worry about contracting anything, premarital or unwanted pregnancy..etc. People rush into sex, and take it lightly, some very early in relationships, or with people they're not even dating. It is a prefrence thing, so this is your prefrence. If you decide to stick up for what you believe in, and these guys cannot accept or appreicate that, then they are not for you. Never let anyone talk you into, and do it when it's right. You're right that sex can rule a relationship. Building a strong, faithful and lasting relationship is vital ideally before anyone should be having sex, there is less regret that way, in my opinion. I also believe that you should have a serious, longterm, and very solid relationship before engaging in sex. Knowing and adapting tot he person, learning about them, getting a long with them, retaining a good, healthy relationship..etc should come before sex... but I'm one that believe that you should be married/or a stable and very deep relationship equal to marriage(if you don't believe in it/illegal for you to do so) before getting into sex. Less regret would be felt if people waited to have sex with their boyfriend/girlfriend..
I did the same, though. I waited. I also went through highschool wth less stress; not worrying about if I got knocked up, if my period will be late, or got the latest disease being passed around. I started dating my husband my sophmore year, too.
Stick to your guns, girl.
EDIT: Oh, NOT being a whore isn't cool, eh? hahah oh depravity.. heh
2006-11-07 19:03:46 · answer #4 · answered by Yeop 4 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Sex is an important part of a relationship it is true. However, if it is just physical, which part of your statement proves, then after the act there is a good chance that it could end up being a short-lived relationship anyway, If a guy cares enough about you he will respect your beliefs and feelings on the subject and be willing to wait until you are either married or just ready to commit to that part of it.
2006-11-07 18:52:24 · answer #5 · answered by Julie W 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋
no..it's not necessary...i think if this guy really loves you then he should respect you and if it's the true love in him then he should wait and marry you and then do whatever he wants...i personally believe in real love and real love is not on physical things but on the soul and your personality...that is the problem of the new century s guys they all go by physical and having sex and just using your body...don't forget that people who love each other truly and to death,get married...and if your guy won't marry you and just use your body,then i'd say that jerk doesn't love you,he loves your body honey...a massage from me:DON'T EVER LET ANYONE USE YOU...A STRONG WOMAN ALWAYS MUST KEEP HERSELF , HER BODY AND HER EVERYTHING FROM BAD EYES OF SOME BOYS...that's what i believe in and it's your decision...i'm just a advicer...
2014-01-22 23:43:19 · answer #6 · answered by zahra 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your fact is absolutely right.never let that happen in your life before marriage. no one can read a person completely and so u may not know what other intentions are there in his mind.
If he dumps u because of saying no to this,then u can make sure that it is not true love
2006-11-07 19:00:08 · answer #7 · answered by sweetgrace 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It all depends on what you want from the relationship,if u are not serious dont do it just wait for the right guy he will come to you when you least expect
2006-11-07 18:59:49 · answer #8 · answered by biladome 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not Necessary at all. Save your self for marriage. Sex is for married couples only.
I waited until my wedding night and I was 28. It is so worth it to wait.
2006-11-07 19:08:55 · answer #9 · answered by LITTLE 1 :o) 6 · 1⤊ 3⤋
i admire your stand in sex after marriage. If a guy cannot respect your principles and gets put off with no sex till after marriage, then they are not the right partner for you. You go girl!
2006-11-07 18:52:23 · answer #10 · answered by Rin 2 · 2⤊ 3⤋