Okay, here's what's up. My boyfriend has an injunction against him which means he's not allowed to be within 100 ft of me. Last week we were seen together by the police. Fortunately, they didn't know that we weren't supposed to be together. But, it upset me so much that I left to protect him from being seen with me again, and he was okay with that. I left last Friday. Sunday, he called me and asked me if he had my permission to have sex with this other girl he just met. Her name is Liz. I told him that I was afraid that I would lose him to her. It's not because I don't trust him, it's just because I don't have a very high self esteem and so I think that everyone is better than me and blah blah blah you get the picture.
Anyway. He assured me that I had nothing to worry about. So, I told him okay. Since I'm not there, he can have his sexual fix with someone else. I told him that he had my permission.
But, it still bothers me. If he loves me, he shouldn't need her, right?
2006-11-07 18:15:32 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The injunction was put in place by my mother because she "felt that he was stalking me". She just hates him because we've had sex and drank together. I'm 17 years old, so I can't get it removed myself. However, in 5 months I'll be 18 and it can be gone then.
2006-11-08 06:08:21 · update #1
He doesn't love you... that's the first thing you need to get in your head. And you don't need him or his so-called love if he doesn't respect you. In fact, he MUST need you, because he keeps coming back. If he didn't need you, he would move on about his business and let you go. So right there, you have THE POWER.
Second, you need to figure out why you "BELIEVE" everyone else is better than you - they're not - especially him.
And how old are? Why are you allowing yourself to be "played-out" by a wannabee player - or whatever he thinks he is. Do you live in a small town where there are a very limited supply of "boyfriends" to go around? Are you afraid of this guy? Is he a nut or something?
Make some new friends, re-evaluate yourself (and your life), pick up some new hobbies, make some new goals for yourself - in school or in life and move on.
If you continue this "relationship" with this guy, you're only gonna make yourself crazy or depressed, cause he doesn't love you - he just wants to manipulate you. And he probably enjoys making you cry and seeing you suffer from time to time.
Find a good woman to emulate - doesn't matter where (friend, tv, celebrity, book) - and realize you are special to someone a lot better than him. Think about it: Your TRUE SOULMATE is somewhere in the World waiting and hoping to find you, but you will never find him until you make positive changes in your life.
Brother DzL (AsP)
"The Player's Lifestyle"
2006-11-07 18:43:45 · answer #1 · answered by mo2dajizzo 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What was the injunction for? Did he abuse you? You need to just forget about him.
It seems as though his only reason for "getting permission" from you is to hurt you some more (as a means of reminding you that you have no choice). Please just move on and forget about him. He's counting on your "low self-esteem" to keep you hanging on so he can continue hurting you.
Get involved in something of interest to you and start working on forgetting him. Take some self-esteem workshops, learn to set some boundaries; let him know that he no longer has a hold on you.
If you succeed in forming another relationship with him, he's only going to continue doing the same thing to you. Please work on staying away from him for your own good. I know it hurts right now but you can live without him. You did once, and you can again.
He'll never change. Don't ever hope he will. Look at what he's doing now. If he loved you, he'd work on his problems that caused him to have a court order against him. He doesn't love you, accept that and move on.
The longer you "hang on", the longer it's going to hurt. Trust me, no one is better than you. You are "worth more than you give yourself credit for".
You sound very young, are you still living with your parents? If so, sit down and have a talk with your mum. If not, try talking to a counsellor. A school counsellor may help.
Take care of yourself, because no one else will.
2006-11-07 19:43:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you didn't say how old either of you are but you sound young...
if there is a restraining order on him you too can get arrested if caught with him.
If he abused you you should stay away from him.
If he loves you he should not want sex with anyone else. I mean are you guys gonna be separated for 20 years or what?
And not to mention the aids and other STD factors... He sounds like a loser to me... Just my opinion
2006-11-07 18:27:47 · answer #3 · answered by sweetsal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is having sex with other people you don't ant him anyway I mean yeah you said its OK so he was noble enough to ask you but you had just saw him two days b4 i mean for Christ sakes he could jack off if hes horny if he loves you he don't need to be sleeping with other woman and you should have more respect for yourself than to let this man treat you this way I don't know how old you are but if you start out letting men walk on you your going to be walked on your whole life Dump his *** he is bad news anyways!!
2006-11-07 18:21:48 · answer #4 · answered by witchy 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
WoW. You gave you boyfriend permission to sleep with another girl? AND why can't your boyfriend be within 100 ft of you? You need to break up with this guy. That doesn't sound too healthly. He doesn't love you if he goes and sleeps with another girl... you don't know what stds he gonna bring to you. I see why he can't come within 100 feet of you.
2006-11-07 18:23:05 · answer #5 · answered by JamaicanGirl 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Umm ok he has a restraining order from being within 100feet of you?
There has to be a very good reason for that.
He doesn't love you.
2006-11-07 18:24:36 · answer #6 · answered by S h ä r k G û m b ò 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow. You're a real doormat. Seriously, get some self esteem and move on.
2006-11-07 18:18:30 · answer #7 · answered by garfield 2 · 2⤊ 3⤋