I need advice from single moms!!!!?

Question

My daughter is 6yrs old and I am at a loss. She is usually a very well mannered and behaved child but lately she is ... I don't even know how to explain it. I will ask her to do something and she says ok then turns around and ignores me. Her father lives in another state and doesn't have the contact I would like. I have tried every punishment under the sun. I need help. I have grounded, taken away privileges, and done time out. Please help!!!!!!! I know everyone will just say it is a phase but it isn't. She always tells me she will do it but as soon as I turn around she is ignoring what I said. I am trying to raise my two children by myself. I have no family around cause they all moved away. I am the one who usually gives the advice but now more than ever I am the one in need of it. So if you are a single Mom please lend me your wisdom.


Thank you in advance.

We do a lot of activities together. She has alot of interaction with other children. We have a close knit community. We read together and talk all the time. I know she understands. I think I have over compensated a little for the lack of a father in her life.

Answer 1

Ask her what's going on in her mind, what she is thinking and feeling.
She may be feeling an emptiness in her 'heart' at the moment.
Is she a lonely little girl? Does she have much of an opportunity to mix with other kids and their families?
Perhaps help her a bit with the task you've asked her to do. She may enjoy the 'togetherness' or may not.
Usually to find out what is going on in someones' mind, you need to pick a quiet time to ask them how they are feeling.
She may have hit a point in her life where she is 'feeling' the absence of her father.
If she has any questions for you, be honest with her with answers that are appropriate for her age and level of understanding.
If she feels you value her feelings/thoughts, she will hopefully get back to her usual 'self'.
P.s. I am a single mum, raising my 3 kids on my own. Have done since I was pregnant with my youngest.
Good luck. Be patient.

Answer 2

As hard as it may be to hear it might just be a stage. Some 6 year olds get to a point where the try and see how far they can push their parents. She maybe doing that with you.

My first advice is to find some outside help. A counsler a church member.

Sometime punishments will only last so long. After a few hundred times a child sent to their room or spanked or something taken away it stops being a punishment. The little kid just learns to deal with out having something or mom spanking them on the butt for a second.

You may have to come up with a new form of punishment.

Are there any single mom groups in your area.? Other single moms in your town that you can get together with your daughter.

It may come down to her being bored and it is coming out in acting out. Try getting her out of the house more. A park a playground, walking around the block at night. That might be a good thing for and for you also.

you also might try talking to her. Some 6 year olds can understand when mommy tells them that the way they are acting is making mommy very unhappy. You never know, that might just work.

When you ask her to do sometime and you can, go with her to watch her do it. If she gets mad tell her that you have asked her to do things by herself and she does not do them so mommy is going to be there when you do the things I ask to make sure they get done. Either she will get the point or get tired of you being righ there when you ask her to do something and do it with out you having to be there.

Good luck..

Answer 3

It's very rare to expect a young child who barely understands the world around her to do a task...and then you...mom...walk away.
Think if you are a child, wouldnt you like to be so proficient at a directed task by an adult and then be distracted as a child of divorce and then be punished every way under the sun?
You and your child are worlds apart right now...you're losing your baby as we speak.
6yrs new! Estranged stressed out parents. *sigh* Get close to your baby. Talk sweetly just as you would like to be talked to into doing a task. Let's pick up these toys together, smile and chat about them as theyre going into the box or a shelf. Eventually, after a year or so of that, your child will associate 'good' feelings from tasks...not bad ones. Also, you should worry less about the clutter and more about getting to connect with your daughter. It's as simple as a smile, a hug and doing things together. Please. Love and Peace.

Answer 4

As a single mum the first thing i would do is have her checked physically.....maybe its her hearing she is hearing you but not the definition of the words or an attention disorder. It maybe none of that but its worth checking.if all comes clear of that and it still continued with the turning her back.....straight away give a consequence of removing what ever she is doing or time out where she cant play with other toys and be consistent .However when she does do what she is asked make a bigger deal out of it on how fantastic she is. Another piece of advice i would like to give you is organise a friend to give you time out...you may say you dont need it but trust me some time to yourself can give you a second wind like you wouldnt believe even if it is just a couple of hours window shopping.

Answer 5

There is a big possibility that your daughter has an attention disorder. I know many mom's who don't want to come to terms with that, but that could be it. In which case that is very sad for her and you. I have the exact same situation with the dad and my eldest daughter. It is very trying. Turn to the Mother of God and she will help you. Ask for help from above because it does feel as no one understands. Don't give up! I will pray for you and your family tonight.

Answer 6

I recently remarried but raised my kids alone for many years and although alot of mothers will disagree strongly with me i spank my kids not often because i do not have to they know mama is the law they may act like brats the once a year my ex decides to play daddy and get their way but since i only had myself for so long i had to make them understand that what i say goes.. I am not saying beat your child there is a HUGE difference between a swat on the butt and a beating

Answer 7

I'm also a single mom w/2kids.maybe she needs Ur full attention when u are around.try to be her best friend too. don't ask her/them to do this/that's else do this/that's w/ her.even in her homework for ex.lets do Ur lesson-I want to learn too.If cooking-lets cook.food will be tastier if we all cook.Don't tell bad personality/attitude of her dad even Ur mad.Only the good one.Its hard maybe but I begin @ still using this method .It still working.Last always tell them in words how imp her/them in Ur life.